You Bring Out the Best In Me

Chapter 35: Part 1

**trigger warning**

That Saturday

Camila's POV

Lauren woke me up again that morning, just like she did every day. When I walked into the bathroom, I immediately locked the door and got the razor from the cabinet. I pressed it to my wrist and just looked at it. I promised myself I wouldn't do it. I hadn't done it since the ninth grade, and I swore I would never do it again. What would everyone think of me if I came home with scars again? What would the people here think of me when they saw them? What would I think of mysef? The knife slipped against my skin and I panicked, letting it fall into the sink. It wasn't a deep cut but it was pretty big. Shoot. I thought. Shoot, shoot, shoot! This is bad, this is really bad.

"Mila, are you ok?" Ally called. I nodded and then remembered that she couldn't see me.

"Yeah!" I lied. I turned on the water and squeezed my eyes shut as it burned the broken skin. "Idiot!" I mumbled to myself, turning the knob to cold. It was starting to bleed heavily and I knew there was no way I could hide it. I couldn't wear a long-sleeved shirt in the middle of September in LA! I guess I could tell them that I was cold in my room? Yeah, that's what I'll do. But if we go out....ah whatever I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. "Bandages....Bandages...where the heck are the bandages?!" I grumbled as I frantically searched the cabinets and drawers.

"Camila, we brought back breakfast!" Lauren. Could she help me? I could tell her that I just cut myself shaving. Why in the world would she believe that?! Who shaves their arms?! Okay, fine, some people probably do but-There was a knock on the door. "Camz, did you hear me? Are you okay?"

I took a deep breath and opened the door. I was trying my hardest not to cry. "Don't get mad at me..." I whispered, showing her my wrist.

"Oh, Camz!" she immediately looked sympathetic. "Baby, why?"

I shook my head. "I-I didn't mean to! The blade slipped..." She nodded and reached to turn off the water. She carefully wrapped the bandage around my arm and kissed it lightly when she had finished. She brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, slowly cupped my face and ran her thumbs gently under my eyes.

"So you didn't mean to do it?" She asked. I shook my head. "Why we're you thinking about doing it?"

"It's just so frustrating, Lauren!" I whined. "I feel like I ruined everything! I ruined Ally, I ruined my relationship with her, and now with you! It's my fault that we all have to leave! I just wish I could end it-"

"No!" Lauren shouted. "Don't you ever think like that, Camila! You are beautiful and smart and talented and we will fix this eventually. I want you to stay here with us...with me."

"We only have two days left-"

"Yes." She cut me off. "And I want to spend them with you. I want to know that you're safe and healthy for the next two days. And you will never leave me."

"I hate this..." I mumble.

"I know, baby." she pulled me in for a hug. "Just promised me one thing?"

"Anything..."

"Don't you ever try to hurt yourself again!" She pulled away when I didn't answer and her piercing green eyes made contact with mine. "Camila, please?"

I finally nodded. "Okay...I promise..."

Later That Day

Lauren's POV

"I spy...something blue..." Camila mumbled. The side of her head was pressed against the window and her voice was slightly muffled.

"Camz, we've only been in the car for ten minutes, how are you already bored?" I laughed.