The cool breeze silently chills my face as I look up at the sky. This weather is perfect, I love fall. The crisp smell of the falling bright leaves. The atmosphere is great and calm and I could lie here forever. All bad memories drift away as I leave the gazebo to lay in the grass. The soft green blades tickle my skin. But all happiness has to come to an end as the edges of my picture perfect rest burn away and all is left is the thought of my countless days I've had to spend in this god damn house, sheer bullshit. I guess it is my fault but I didn't want to die I just wanted sleep I stupidly took all the pills Leah gave me to relieve me from the encasing troubles that were weighing me down. I would do anything to take it back but that's impossible so I'm stuck in this dreary old house. I slowly stand up and brush the dried leaves from my leggings and hair and walk inside. I would give anything for adventure one sheer thread of excitement and fun but instead I feel nothing but loneliness. I walk through the door leading to the kitchen and sit down on the chairs. I run my fingers through my hair and sigh deeply to calm my rising anxiety. I go up to my room to grab a pack of cigarettes, Tate no where insight. I pull one out of the pack and put it in between my lips as I sit on my bed an light it quickly. the slow drag calms me instantly and I let my body relax into the bed. I roll over and grab the book on my nightstand it's the stranger. I was originally given it by my school as a reading assignment but you can guess how that turned out since I hardly went. The book was oddly decent and I enjoyed it even though I never finished.
I open it and flip to the last page I was on. The cigarette and the book calm me and yet again everything slips away. It's been so long since I've picked up a book. I've always loved reading it's been an escape. I take the last drag from the cigarette and put it out against the night stand.
"You really shouldn't do that," Noras' voice startles me and I jump a little.
"Cigarettes are awful things plus you're stinking up the house you brat," she sneers.
I'm overly annoyed by her sudden intrudence. Closing my eyes I say calmly "go away," and I'm left with nothing. I toss the book against the wall and pull the covers around my body and lay there even though I'm not tired. But I still need extra time to think and relax. The blue walls comfort me. I never had much friends because I was drawn to dark and macabre things that most ditzy teenage girls my age werent. I never enjoyed the same things as the girls at my school. while they attended pep rallies I was in the bathroom smoking and reading, but of course I wasn't always like this. I grew up a happy child an didn't grow into my depressive ways until the sixth grade when I noticed I wasn't the same and I was Bullied for it.
I'm over it though because in the end who gives a shit, fuck them they most likely grew up to be janitors at Burger King anyway. My eyes get heavy and spastic as tiny tears roll down from my eyes. A wave of exhaustion runs through my body but I prop myself up anyway and go and retrieve the fallen book.
I'll read until Tate finds me and then I guess i'll have to tell him my plan about my dad helping him, if that's even an option.
