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Im the root of all of this so i'll stop myself
If my misfortune is your happiness,
I'll happily stay unfortunate
If i'm the figure of hate, i'll get on the guillotine
____

I remember it like it was yesterday. The day i tried to kill myself. I remember the cold bathroom floor on my bare feet, and the pile of sleeping pills in my hand.

I remember what i thought as i swallowed them.

"No one would even care that you were gone"

I remember waking up on a hospital bed. But most of all i remember my family's reactions.

Most people would be really sad, or worried if there son tried to kill themselves, but.... Not my parents.

There were many reasons why i wanted to die. All the bullying at school (witch stopped after i moved schools), and the death of my sister. But the most important one was that my parents abused me.

That's how my sister died. She was beaten to death by my dad.

My mom always yelled at me. She called me ugly, fat, worthless, stupid, and so many other things. My dad beat me. He punched me, slapped me, pushed me, and left many bruises on me. One time he even broke my arm.

I had no friends. No one i could talk to. My parents were always either yelling at each other, or yelling at me. It was like that for my whole life.

All i remember is years, and years of abuse. Abuse that's still going on today.

Thats why i tried to kill myself that day. 2 years ago. Im surprised im not dead yet now.

My name is jung hoseok. Im 17, in my last year or highschool. My best friends are jimin, taehyung, and yoongi.

I sat in the classroom dreading for the last bell to ring. It meant i had to go home and face more abuse from my family. Then it did just wait i was hoping it wouldn't.

Students rushed out of the classroom, chatter filling the halls. Then i felt jimin place a warm hand on my shoulder.

" hey. Me and the other guys were thinking about hanging out at my place. You coming?" he asked. I gently lofted his hand from my shoulder, and let it fell limp to the floor.

"Sorry. Cant. I have a lot of homework to do"i lied. In truth, if i left the house my parents would kill me. Literally.

" you never come over!! You need to start doing your homework on time hyung!" taehyung pouted. His aegyo never failed to make me smile, even on the worst days.

" yah guys. Leave him alone." yoongi said. " if he cant come over he cant. Don't bother him about it"

" there goes yoongi ruining our fun again" jimin sighed.

" why doesnt that grandpa understand our jokes" taehyung said. Melting into jimin.

"I dont know" jimin said as they acted all sad like.

"Ok. Ok i get it. Im not fun" yoongi said. " but at least im funner than your parents"

They all laughed.

" Deffidentally" i mutterd.

"What you say hyung?" taehyung asked me.

" nothing" i waved off my previous statement.

"Ok" taehyung said. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye bye!"

" bye" i say. I turned in the other direction to start walking towards my house.

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