Hidden Bruises (vhope)

11

We came back home around dinner time. The table was lined with food.

" come guys. Eat" ms.kim said, and taehyung eagerly sat at the table.

"Actually, im not very hungry..." i said.

" its ok hoseok, just go upstairs and rest" ms.kim said.

" your not sick right?" taehyung asked me with a worried look.

"No. Just tired" i replied. I went up to our shared room, and locked the door behind me. I couldn't have someone walk in on me doing this. I grabbed my stuff from under the bed, and oped the window.

Taking out a cigarette i held it in my mouth as i lit the lighter. Then burned the tip of the smoke, and inhaled its chemical gas. I coughed a bit as i exhaled the smoke because i still wasn't quite used to the feeling and flavor. I stuck the end back in my mouth and held it there taking out the blade. I lifted up my sleeves to reveal a cut and scared wrist, i couldn't find a blank spot so i sliced open old scars. The blade was the sharpest i had ever used. It felt so good to be able to cleanly slice through the skin this way. And combining it with the tar entering my lungs was so satisfyingly painful.

Once the cigarette was down to the orange, i let the bud drop out of the window. I breathed out all the extra smoke, so no one would get suspicious. Then there was a knock on the door. I closed the window, and hid the blade and cigs in my hoodie pockets. I ruffled my hair to make it look like i just woke up.

I opened the door while rubbing my eyes to give the illusion of sleep.

" hello" i said in a tired like voice. It was tahyung.

" what were you doing?" he asked curiously.

" sleeping. U woke me up" i said. I tried to sound kind of annoyed just to really sell the act.

" oh. Sorry. I was just... A bit worried" taehyung said. Of course he was worried, look at my history. So much shit had happend to me that its not even funny.

" taehyung, i promised you i wouldn't do that again" i said. I was obviously lying, but i couldn't have him find out about me. One slip up. One mistake, and im out.

" ok.." taehyung said. He suddenly hugged me. " i really care about you hoseok, i don't want you to go back to that"

His words made me feel so guilty for what just happened. His hug made.me feel so useless. I felt bad about doing it, which only made me want to do it more.

" i... I wont" i said shakily, luckily tae didn't notice my nerves. He let go of the hug, and smiled at me. I got all my strength and smiled back.

" im going shopping with mom, well be back soon" he said.

" ok. Bye bye taehyung" i said waving to him.

"Bye"