Hidden Bruises (vhope)

12

It was the next day. I woke up to the sound of a blasting alarm, it was time to get ready for school.

"Cmon hoseok. Today's the first school day after winter break!!!" He whined.

" ok, I'm up, I'm up" I said. I dragged myself out of bed, and walked to the closet. I just grabbed the first things I saw. Taehyung was much more picky about his clothes. I had on a hoodie with some sweatpants, he wore an oversized sweater and ripped jeans. Cute.

Once I was all ready, me and taehyung walked to the bus stop together. It was kinda hard acting all the time, especially with taehyung. Most of the time I'm actually having fun with my friends, but it doesn't last long. The times when I feel like crap, like right now, is when I act. I made sure before I left that I had everything I needed in my backpack. Blades, lighters, cigarettes. 'The depressed and suicidal teen starter pack'.

I got on the bus, and sat with taehyung as always. Although Today, I really didn't want to. I kept acting all the way till we got to school. It made me feel even worse. As soon as I got off that bus, I rushed inside.

" taehyung! I'm gonna go to the bathroom k?" I yelled as I ran.

" got it!" Taehyung said back. I saw the other guys walk up and start talking to taehyung as the went inside the building. I ran to the bathroom.

Now to decide. Cut, or smoke? I decided to cut, since it was less noticeable than smoking. I made a few lines, each one sending a wave of release over me, it felt so good. I washed my arm off, and went to the spot where me and my friends hang out. We still had 10 minutes until school started. After that bathroom scene, I felt a lot better. I didn't have to act.

We talked ahh it random stuff, until the bell rang. Then we went our separate ways to class. The whole time in class I just kept on thinking about smoking. I really needed it right now. No wonder people get addicted to these things. I raised my hand.

" yes hoseok?" The teacher asked. I stood up.

" I don't feel well, can I go to the nurse?" I asked. The teacher stopped to think a bit before telling me to go ahead. I let out a sigh of relief, and went to my locker to grab my backpack. I went outside to the track. It was cold, so I was the only one out here. I hid behind the bleachers, then took out my cigarettes and a lighter.

I quickly stuck one in my mouth, and lit it up. The bleachers blocked the wind, so the chemicals burned fast. I took a deep breath, feeling the tar and smoke fill my lungs. Then I breathed it out. It was gray, and beautiful. So, so beautiful.

" hoseok?!?" Some one to the left of me called my name. I jumped up and pulled the cigarette out of my mouth to hide it behind my back. It was Jimin. He was holding a bag of soccer balls.

" what are you doing out here?" I asked. He dropped the bag, and a few balls rolled out. He ran over to my and grabbed my arm, I winced a bit at the pain. He looked at the cigarette in my hand. I pulled my arm away and looked up at him. He was still looking down, his eyes watering.

" hoseok... Why do you do this... I... I thought.... Oh god" he started crying, and grabbed on to me. I hugged him back, tears starting to well up in my eyes as well.

" Jimin... Please don't tell taehyung... He... He can't know" I said, I started crying as well. Jimin pulled away. He shuffled and wiped his eyes.

" like ft up your sleeve!" He said. He was trying to be strong. I had already been caught. It was too late now. I showed him the fresh cuts on my arms. He dragged his fingers across them, tears stared falling from his cheeks again.

" hoseok... I have to tell them. You can't keep doing this" he said. I started balling, and I crashed down to my knees. I was desperate.

" please Jimin. Don't tell anyone. I'll stop! I promise. Just don't tell" I was so pathetic. Jimin knew. He didn't want to hurt me.

" ok hoseok. If you... If you don't want me to. I won't tell. But you can't do this again ok?" He said. He helped me stand back up. I kept hugging him. My tears still rolling down. I muttered a quick thank you as he held me.

" Jimin! What is taking so long!!" It was the p.e teacher. I guess Jimin was bringing the soccer balls inside.

" I'm sorry hoseok, I have to go. Just... Just don't do it again ok?" He asked.

" o.. Ok" I said.

" coming mr.oh!!" Jimin yelled, and he ran back with the soccer balls. I sat down against the bleachers. Looking at the cigarette I dropped. I held it up. It almost felt like it was teasing me for being so weak. I wanted to bring it back to my mouth, and take a loooong drag. But I couldn't. I promised Jimin. I needed to go back to class anyway. I put it back on the ground, and ran back inside. Replaying the scene with Jimin in my head. I promised I wouldn't cut or smoke, so he wouldn't tell anyone. Only 1 person knows my new secret. I'm still safe, for now at least.