Chapter Twenty-Five: Confessions

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Three days passed. Then, five. Then, a week. Later on, two weeks. A month and a half…and I still hadn’t said a word about my rape.

            Hannah had been pretty pissed at me and said that if I didn’t speak up sooner or later; it was going to take an emotional toll on me and I was just going to bring the band down with me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I haven’t had intense emotions since the incident because believe me, I have. She also threatened to tell her dad who was a lawyer and said that he could really help me press charges. I didn’t even want to believe that it was that serious and that it had really happened to me.

            Meanwhile, we managed to score a record deal with Hopeless, which was probably one of the happiest moments of my entire life. All our hard work had finally paid off. Now we were on our last trek of Warped tour, with only a few more dates left and then we were headed back to Scottsdale and back to high school. Kill me now.

            “Guys, look at the crowd, this is absolutely insane,” Blake exclaimed, sweat beads were forming on his forehead.

            “I know, I don’t believe this,” I shook my head and looked into the sea of people.

            We had been playing the Glamour Kills stage for all of the tour until today, where we got our chance to play the Main Stage. The Main Stage was reserved for the biggest and best bands, so it was a real honor for us to get to play on it. Just five months ago, I think we were only playing for ten people because nobody had ever heard of us and now hundreds of people wanted to hear us. It was crazy to think how all that could change so quickly.

            “California, how you guys doing tonight?” Blake said into his microphone.

            The crowd was still engaged in their own conversations, all I could hear was an excessive amount of mumbling.

            He cleared his throat. “I SAID, ‘CALIFORNIA, HOW YOU GUYS DOING TONIGHT?’”

            This time, they cheered loud and clear.

            “Now that’s more like it. We’re gonna play some songs, sing it loud if you know the words!” he ran his fingers through his hair, an old, but always useful cue.

            Hannah cued the click track and I started the simple rhythmic beat of the song. 

            “Baby, I know that I’m a quite a lot. I’m a wreck but you know that-“

            “OUR LOVE IS ALL WE’VE GOT!” the crowd shouted.

            Even though my headphones were practically glued to my head I swear I could hear my heart beating with the energy of the crowd.

            “Red lips, you’re like candy licorice. All I really need is your-“

            “KISS!” the crowd sang back every refrain and every word. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

            After we finished our set, Blake let me have my little drum solo and I threw my sticks into the crowd.

            “Oh my god,” I ripped the headphones off my head, resulting in some of my hair to be pulled out of my scalp, and handed them to Hannah.

            “You totally killed it, as usual,” she winked at me.

            “I know, but there was just something different about this show,” I grabbed my towel from behind me and rubbed the sweat off. I poured water in my hair and shook it out. “I’m dying of thirst!”

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