chapter twenty seven

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"Where are you going?" Camila asked, as I got dressed the next morning. I slept over her house because the gig ended too late.

"I wanted to go visit Shawn. And his parents." I answered. "if you wanna join me, you can."

"I have a- um, meeting downtown. You sure you'll be fine on your own?"

"Mila, I'm almost eighteen." I reminded.

"That's not what I meant. Are you okay going to go see him without me?"

I sat on the edge of the bed.

"I have before."

"What! Y/N!"

"He asked to see me. Just me."

"Explain."

And so I told Camila about how empty Shawn felt. How he felt like a ghost looking at pictures of himself from his "past life". Camila listened attentively, nodding after every plot point.

"Why do you ask?" I asked, a little suspicious.

"I just want to know if he's safe." Camila replied softy. "I need to know that he's safe so I can sleep at night. Is that too much to ask?"

I got up, giving her a hug.

"No more secrets, okay? I promise to tell you everything- as long as you tell me everything."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then I'll tell you everything soon."

"That's easier said than done." I sighed, grabbing my car keys and my jacket. Camila grabbed me by the waist and kissed me quick.

"Be safe. Know your limits." She clutched my hand tight.

I swore to her that I would be safe.

Driving up the Mendes's driveway, I didn't know what to expect when I locked my car and started knocking on the door.

Mrs. Mendes opened the door. She looked practically exhausted, but she was still smiling.

"Y/N! What a surprise, come in."

The house was huge. Pictures were hung ups all over the place. And these weren't photographs, they were full-on paintings. I squinted to notice Shawn's face was colored over with permanent marker. I was confused.

"Is Shawn home?" I asked. "I wanted to see how he was doing."

"Well, he'll be home soon. He went to the library. It was a rough week." She explained. "There were many doctor's appointments, and at first he was very volatile. But now, he's pretty quiet. He draws a lot."

"He deleted his social media profiles last night. I just wanted to know why."

Mrs. Mendes and I sat down in the dining room.

"He doesn't want to be the old him, you know? He hates that part of him." Mrs. Mendes told me. "Shawn is realizing that he turned out just like Sebastian, who- who abused him physically. He feels like this is all Bas's fault."

"He did convince Shawn to play music and join band."

"Exactly. Shawn didn't want to learn saxophone at first. But, he wanted the friends Sebastian had and he wanted to be him. I hope this makes sense?"

"It does. I feel like everyone wants to be like their older sibling."

"Sebastian manipulated that. That's why Colson-"

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