On The Edge Of Falling

Things Are Heating Up

            I stood by my bed, with widened eyes, as I looked down at the numerous shopping bags filled with new clothes. When Zak said he was taking me to the mall, I wasn't expecting him to take me on a shopping spree. I continuously told him no, that I didn't feel comfortable with him spending his money on me, but he continued to swipe that credit card. "Consider it your first paycheck." Zak said to me.
            I didn't know which bag to start with first. I wasn't used to being showered with gifts, considering my ex boyfriend didn't even know what a paycheck was. I was planning on joining Zak for Jay and Ashely's cook out, but what would be the perfect outfit? A cute summer maxi? Or go casual with jeans and a t-shirt? As I began to peak through every bag, Zak welcomed himself in. "Hello, there, my new best friend." Zak joked. I laughed with a shake of my head. "Haven't picked out an outfit yet?"
            "Have any ideas?" I asked.
            "Model some for me."
            "No, that's weird."
            "Oh, come on, just strip your clothes off and try on some outfits." Zak said, showing that confident smile.
            "Friends don't see each other naked."
            "I've already seen you naked."
            "I thought we were starting over?"
            "Alright, fine. Be boring, but if you want my opinion, you'll look fine as hell in this little number." Zak said, as he pulled out a short black summer dress.
            "I don't remember that one." I said, as I took it from his hands.
            "I picked it out without you. It'll make your boobs look good." Zak flopped down to the bed, laying with his hand propping up his head. "Well?"
            "Well, what?"
            "Go try it on." Zak smiled. With a roll of my eyes, I walked into my bathroom. I looked into the mirror after I pulled the dress onto my body. Believe it or not, Zak was right. It fit perfectly, hugging every curve of my body. I giggled to myself, just thinking about what Zak's reaction was going to be like. As I left the bathroom, Zak was searching through more bags and I had to clear my throat to get his attention. As Zak turned, his bottom lip slowly fell from his top. His eyes moved from my head, down to my toes, admiring the woman he wasn't allowed to touch.
            "Do you like it?" I asked, softly, almost like a whisper. Zak exhaled deeply and stood off the bed. He slowly walked towards me, reaching out. As we were face to face, his fingertips caressed my hands and travelled all the way up to my shoulders. My heart beat faster and faster, and I thought how this was possibly happening again. "Zak..."
            "Tell me again, why I can't have you?" Zak whispered in my ear. My entire body trembled, as his cheek brushed against mine. His hands still grasping my shoulders.
            "Because you're my boss." I whispered back into his ear. Zak sighed, as he took a step away from me. He looked into my eyes, before chuckling to himself. "Zak, I thought..."
            "No, Addy, you're right. It's fine." Zak smiled, as he waved it off and walked towards the door.
            "Are you alright?"
            "Yeah, of course. I was just messing around. It's all good." Zak winked at me, acting strong through the agonizing frustration he was feeling. I listened, as he walked down the hall to his bedroom, and the door shut behind him. I went back into my bathroom to take another good look at myself in the mirror. I must've been completely insane to turn him down, but my mind continued to go to a dark place. I wasn't being honest with myself. Zak being my boss wasn't the issue. The issue was dating a man that acted a lot like my ex. He was just as sweet when we first started dating, and then everything went to hell. I couldn't jeopardize Zak and I's friendship.
            Zak entered his bathroom, quickly stripping off every piece of clothing. His hands were still shaking and he needed a way to calm himself down. He leaned into the shower to turn on the hot water, the steam rolled out like fog after a rainy day. Before he could climb in, his cell began to ring. Being in no mood to talk to anyone, he hit the red phone, declining the call from Aaron.
            Zak pulled his body into the shower and inhaled, as the hot water rolled down his body. He turned to face the shower head, allowing the water to hit his face, as if he was cleansing himself from the rejection he just suffered. Zak placed both hands on the tile wall in front of him and leaned forward. "Stop, Zak. Just fucking stop. She doesn't want you. Get over it." Zak said to himself, as he firmly hit his fists to the wall.
            I tossed the frisbee in the air and giggled, as Gracie ran and leaped to catch it. "Hey, it's time to go." Zak shouted from the back door. He whistled for Gracie and she dropped the frisbee and ran right for him. I followed them, locking the door behind me. I could smell Zak's amazing cologne, pulling me in like a moth to a flame. Zak was whistling to himself, as he wrapped his watch around his wrist. I still felt as if he was trying to act cool and confident, playing it off like nothing ever happened.
            "Zak?" I asked softly.
            "Yeah?"
            "Do you want to talk?"
            "About what?"
            "About what happened before, in my room." I said, as I stepped closer to him. Zak took a step away, like he was afraid to get too close to me, not being able to control himself.
            "There's nothing to talk about, Addy. I told you I was just messing around. Now, lets go. I'm hungry." Zak waved me along, as he walked towards the front door. I was already dreading this cook out, having to spend the entire night with a boss who was going to avoid me, as much as he could.
            When we arrived at Jay and Ashley's, we saw Aaron stepping out of his car, parked in front of us. I stepped out and Gracie leaped out of the back seat. Aaron gestured for Zak. "Bro, I called you earlier." Aaron said.
            "Yeah, I was in the shower." Zak looked over at me, hesitant to start a conversation with me standing there listening in. Suddenly, Ashley stepped outside and welcomed me with a smile.
            "Hey, guys! Come on in!" Ashley yelled from the front door. I looked to Zak, wanting him to escort me in.
            "Take Gracie in, please. I'll be there in a minute." Zak said. I wasn't stupid. I knew he was just itching to gossip about me with Aaron, but I left them alone anyways. Aaron saw the aggravation in Zak's eyes and gave him a soft pat.
            "You okay, man?"
            "I just don't get it." Zak confessed. "So what if I'm her boss? Why can't we be both? Why can't I have her and pay her for service?"
            "Because that would make her a hooker." Aaron laughed.
            "Come on, bro. I'm being serious."
            "Am I talking to the Zak Bagans? You...You, out of all people, want to have a girlfriend?"
            "I don't know, I just want her, you know? Like I can't fucking stop thinking about her and it's driving me crazy. I hate it because she pisses me off sometimes, but it makes me want her more. I can't be in the same room with her without thinking about ripping her clothes off and..."
            "Okay, I don't need details, man." Aaron said, as he lifted his hands up. "So, what you're feeling is lust, Zak. You just want another hook up."
            "No, that's not it."
            "Zak, I'm telling you. You had one great night and now you want it again. That's all. This feeling will pass, dude."
            "Yeah?"
            "Yeah, all you have to do is go on some more dates. Find some other girls. You and Addy can get back to normal and you won't be such a wreck." Aaron walked towards the backyard, leaving Zak alone to think. In Zak's mind, what Aaron said made a lot of sense, but he couldn't shake that need for me.
            I smiled at Zak, as he walked into the back yard. I was standing with Jay and Ashley. Jay had picked on me about what happened when I met Ashley earlier today. He laughed as Zak approached us. "You trying to take my woman, bro?" Jay joked. Zak laughed with him and gave me a friendly shove.
            "Stop it, leave the girl alone." Ashley said, as she smiled at me. I heard Aaron laugh, as he greeted Billy. Billy came to me and gave me a hug.
            "So Addy, what did you do before you started working for this asshole?" Jay asked, as they all laughed, including Zak. I could tell they all had a brother-like relationship. They could pick on each other and no one would get offended.
            "I'm a photographer actually. I worked for a local newspaper in St. Louis, my hometown, but unfortunately, I got canned. My boss didn't like my dark and macabre nature." I smiled, as I saw Ashley's eyes light up.
             "A dark passionate photographer? We're gonna be friends." Ashley laughed.
            "See Zak, I like this one. This is the kind of girl you need to settle down with." Jay smiled, and Aaron rushed to him and gripped around his shoulders.
             "Alright, so anyway, what's for dinner, Jay?" Aaron yelled, trying his hardest to change the conversation. Zak's saddened eyes met mine, before he walked to Gracie in the yard. Billy gave me a comforting smile.
             The night was wonderful. Jay was an amazing griller. The baby back ribs were cooked to perfection and the laughs and friendly ambiance made for wonderful sides. I helped Ashley wash the pile of dirty dishes and as we finished, I looked outside to find Zak sitting on a lawn chair, with Gracie resting by his feet. The smile he wore, as he watched Jay, Billy, and Aaron horse around, wasn't genuine at all, so I made my way to him. "Hey, there." I said. Zak looked up at me and the smile faded even more. "I really wish you'd talk to me." I said, as I took the seat beside him.
            "I'm trying, Addy."
            "Me too."
            "We'll get past this."
            "I hope so." I smiled.
             As Zak and I sat with each other, we talked and laughed like I had been apart of this tight group for years. Jay, Ashley, Billy, and Aaron stood by the grill, watching as I would playfully touch Zak's arms. Zak would lean into me and whisper in my ear, causing me to giggle more. Billy shook his head with a cheesy grin. "Looks like things are heating up." Jay laughed.
            "She likes him." Ashley smiled.
            "He likes her." Billy smiled. "When are they going to stop fighting this?"