On The Edge Of Falling

Addilyn Rose Photography

            I can't stand seeing her like this. Billy thought, as he watched me in bed. I knew he was there, standing in my doorway, as I faced away from him, towards the window. I steadily stared at the family of blue jays nesting on the ledge. The mama bird was dropping a squirming worm into the baby birds mouth. It's funny, that little bird had more love in this world than I did. I didn't want to feel sorry for myself, but how else was I supposed to feel? Every time I tried doing something right, everyone thought I was doing something wrong.
            I inhaled deeply, as the coffee in Billy's mug soared its way into my nostrils. The aroma almost made me want to get out of bed and retrieve my own cup, but my mind physically wouldn't let me do anything. Maybe, it was my heart, causing my paralysis. Either way, I wasn't leaving this bed. The last time I was downstairs, was when I officially said my goodbyes to Zak. I had been in my bed for over 30 hours and my entire body was in an uncomfortable state of numbness.
            Billy refused to feed into my behavior. I would ask him for a drink, or some food, but he wouldn't give in. No matter how much I begged, and cried. I'm sure he felt like the strict  parent to a spoiled teenager, but I didn't mind. I just starved myself, until the night when I  forced myself to go to the kitchen and make a sandwich. I could still feel Billy's eyes of disappointment burning a hole into the back of my head, until I rapidly tossed my body over to look at him. "What do you want, Billy?" I asked, my sigh so deep, I could hardly speak through it.
            "I'm waiting for you to get out of bed." Billy said, before sipping his steaming coffee.
            "I'm not getting out of bed."
            "Yes, you are." Aaron said, as he rounded Billy and entered my bedroom. I quickly whipped the comforter over my head, hiding the bags under my eyes, and my messy bun on the top of my head. I was used to Billy seeing me like this, but didn't want anymore eyes on me. Aaron sat on my bed and whipped the covers right off. "Come on, Addy. Stop doing this."
            "Yeah, you're better than this." Billy added. I rolled my eyes and yanked the covers back from Aaron.
            "But I'm not better than this. This is my life now. I'm going to stay here the rest of my life. People will hear tales about the old, sad lady who dwells in Billy Tolleys guest bedroom. People will know my name, and worship me in lonely single women cults." Billy and Aaron looked at each other, and couldn't hold back their laughs. Billy sat on the other side of the bed. Suddenly, I was the cheese in the odd Billy, Aaron sandwich. The Ghost Adventures fans would be jealous.
             "Trust me, Addy, I'd kick your ass out, before Id let it get that far." Billy laughed. Unexpectedly, Jay walked through the door, with a large coffee from Starbucks. He handed it to me with a smile.
             "Is this like a party now?" I asked. "Please, tell me Zak wasn't invited."
             "Speaking of Zak, I talked to him this morning." Aaron said. I lifted my head in curiosity, and anxiously waited for more. "I saw Lindsey last night, sucking face with some random dude outside of the restaurant. I wanted to take a picture, but they ran inside." I let out a sigh of relief. Finally, someone saw it for themselves and would stop thinking that I'm making it up.
            "Holy shit, man. Did you tell Zak?" Billy asked.
            "I tried. As soon as I mentioned her name, he hung up on me. He doesn't want to believe it, but it'll be a rude awakening when he catches her in the act himself."
            "Stupid bitch. She seemed so nice." Billy shrugged, as he stood from the bed.
            "That's the point. She wanted you all to love her, so you wouldn't see her true self, but I fucking saw through her right away." I said.
            "I'm sorry, Addy. I should've believed you. Zak's going to feel like shit when he learns the truth."
            "Never mind that. You need to get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, and meet us downstairs." Aaron smiled.
            "You guys, I really don't...."
            "No, this is not up for debate." Aaron raised his brow, determined to get my lazy self up. Billy and Jay smiled at me, and inched closer, about to pull me out of bed themselves.
            "Alright, fine. Give me like twenty minutes." I sighed, as I lifted my exhausted body out of bed. The guys cheered and sarcastically whistled at the sight of my baggy sweats, and ripped tank top. "Yeah, yeah, I know." I proceeded to swat them out of my room, like pesky flies, and made my way to the shower.
            The shower, and the coffee did make me feel a little better. It was just the little boost I needed to get moving. As I made my way downstairs, I noticed the living room was empty and the front door was wide open. "Were we just robbed?" I asked myself, as I slowly crept to the door. As I peaked outside, I saw the guys standing outside by Billy's car.
            "Okay, get your fine ass in the car! We have a surprise!" Aaron shouted, with a wave of his enthusiastic hand.
            I wasn't much for surprises, so you could imagine my hesitation, as I climbed into the front seat and Aaron wrapped a blindfold around my eyes. After many attempts to pull it off, the guys told me to keep calm. "It's worth it." They continued to remind me. The car ride wasn't very long and finally, we reached our destination. I was still completely unaware of my surroundings. As Aaron took my hand and helped me out, all I could see was the sidewalk underneath my feet, and the bright sun shining through the fabric. "When can I take this off, you guys?" I asked, as Aaron and Billy were on both sides of me, pulling me along.
            "We will take it off when we're ready." Billy replied. I felt his hand on the back of my head, and my heart pounded with anticipation. I swear to god, if Zak is standing in front of me, I'll give you all a swift kick to the groin. My fingers nervously tapped my hips, as I felt Billy loosening the knot. "Alright, here we go." The blindfold fell and I was confused, as I stood in front of an empty building. It looked to be an old store of some sort. The windows were clouded with dirt, the floors inside were bare concrete, and there were no other businesses in the lot. "Surprise!!" They all yelled, waving their hands in the air.
            "This is my surprise?"
            "Yeah, do you like it?" Billy asked.
            "Um, what is it exactly?"
            "This, Addilyn..." Billy took my hand and led me into the abandoned building. "...is the future site of Addilyn Rose Photography." Billy took a single key out of his pocket and handed it to me.
            "What?" I asked, with a smile, but still trying to figure out if this was all really happening. "Are you saying this is my studio?"
            "This is your studio. Obviously, it needs to be cleaned up a little, which we can all help with, but it has a fantastic layout. Lots of windows for good natural light. It's going to be perfect."
            "How...why...when did....?" I stuttered, trying to hold back the happy tears. Billy walked to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
            "You're a wonderful woman, Addy, and you've become an amazing friend, to all of us. We couldn't stand seeing you waste away like that. I saw how devastated you were when you didn't get that loan, so we all pitched in." They all circled, and smiled at me, as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I embraced Billy tightly.
            "Thank you, so much, Billy." I said, before I pulled in Aaron and Jay for their hugs. "You all are so wonderful. I can't even begin to describe how much this means to me." I looked around the studio once more. It wasn't just an empty lot anymore. This was my future. I pictured the walls painted, and beautiful hardwood floors. The pictures of all my clients hanging up, and my backdrops, and cameras set up. Once I had all of that imagined, the place was absolutely breathtaking.
            "Alright, let's get to work!" Aaron shouted, as he clapped his hands together.
           "Wait, we're starting now?"
           "Well, no, right now, we're going down the street to that BBQ joint for some lunch, and  of course to discuss your plans for this place." Aaron laughed.
            Zak sat in his office, looking through his thousands of emails, trying to figure out where he was going to start. He had a stack of unopened fan mail on his desk, and hundreds of unfulfilled orders for the Haunted Museum merchandise. He dropped his head in his hands, overcome with frustration. "How the fuck am I going to get all of this done?" Zak whispered to himself. Suddenly, his phone beeped. He unlocked it to find Aaron was posting snaps on his Snapchat. Zak curiously opened the application, but sighed as he saw the contents. Jay, Billy, Aaron, and I, sitting at the restaurant, laughing and having a good time, while Zak sat at home alone. He slammed his phone to the desk, knowing he was the one who pushed us all away. He chose Lindsey, now he had to live with it.
            Zak took out his phone and dialed the only person he thought would be there for him. The phone rang and rang until Lindsey finally answered. "Hey, I told you I was working, babe."
            "Yeah, I know. I just missed you, that's all." Zak smiled.
           "Okay, well, I should really..."
           "Don't you have a lunch break?"
           "Yes, Zak, but we're um, really busy today. I think I'm just going to work straight through."
           "Oh, come on, I'll come down there. We can eat together. It'll be nice."
           "Zak, I really can't. I have to go."
           "Lindsey..." Zak heard the beep, as Lindsey hung up on her side. Zak brushed it off and went downstairs. He thought she couldn't turn him down to a romantic spontaneous lunch and decided to show up uninvited.
            As Zak pulled into the back lot of the restaurant, he noticed that Lindsey's car was not around. His mind immediately went to the worst possible scenario. What if she is cheating? She told me she was working, but is really out with another man. Zak shook the thought that was too bad to imagine, and walked into the restaurant. As he walked inside, he looked around at the number of waitresses taking orders, but Lindsey was no where in sight. Finally, the manager approached him, already being familiar with Zak, as he came in frequently to visit. "Hey, what's up, Zak? How are you, bro?" He asked, as he shook Zak's hand.
            "Not much, man. I was just looking for Lindsey. Is she in the kitchen, or something?"
            "No, man, she wasn't scheduled today."
            "But I just talked to her. She said she was here...working."
            "I'm sorry, man. She hasn't been in all day." The manager lightly slapped Zak's back and returned to the kitchen. Zak shamefully returned to his car. He sat in silence, fearing that everyone's accusations could be right, but he didn't want to give up on Lindsey so easy. He didn't want it to be true. That guilt would eat him alive. He pushed away his friends, and worst of all, he pushed away a woman he really cared about.
            Zak sat on the concrete, with his feet swaying in the pool. The sun was setting behind the hills. Zak's somber mood was even upsetting to Gracie. She laid in one of the cushioned chairs beside him, with her favorite chew toy pinned under her paw. Suddenly, Lindsey walked into the backyard and smiled at Zak. "Hey, babe!" She exclaimed, as she made her way to the pool. Zak stood up, feet dropping on the concrete, as he made his way into the kitchen without saying a word. Gracie quickly followed, along side Lindsey. "Okay, that was a little rude. Whatever." Lindsey said, as Zak took a seat at the kitchen island.
            "Where were you today?" Zak asked, under his breath.
            "I told you, I was working."
            "No, you weren't."
            "Zak, what are you talking about, baby?"
            "Don't baby me." Zak scoffed. "You weren't at work today. You and I both know that, so where the hell where you?"
            "Baby..." Lindsey sighed, and Zak slammed his hands against the granite counter top. Lindsey jumped and looked down to the floor. She knew she had been caught. She wasn't necessarily upset about the relationship ending, but her luxurious gifts.
            "Tell me where you were." Zak demanded again. Lindsey kept quiet, and took a step back, as Zak stood and slowly inched closer to her. "Give me your phone."
            "No."
            "Lindsey, give me your phone."
            "No!" Lindsey shouted, as Zak ripped it from her grip. "Zak, please!" Zak turned from her and began looking though her text messages and calls. He slowly turned back to face her, a look of utter shock covered his face.
            "Who's Mark? You seem to talk to him a lot, and send a lot of pictures of your tits and pussy!" Zak shouted, as he threw the cell against the tile, shattering it to pieces. "Pretty sure that was my fucking bathroom in the background!" Zak got face to face with her, as she closed her eyes.
            "Zak, I'm sorry."
            "Don't fucking insult me with an apology. Addy was right, wasn't she? She fucking decked you, because you got caught!"
            "Oh, come on, that bitch was always jealous of me, Zak! She just wanted you for herself!"
           "And I should've fucking been with her! But I wasted my time on you! What was this to you? Tell me honestly."
          "Zak, I love you..."
          "The clothes, the purses, jewelry. That was it wasn't it? Date a television star, get whatever the hell you want, and have a fuck buddy on the side. Am I right?" Lindsey remained quiet, but she didn't have to confirm it. Zak knew he was right. "Get out. I'm done with you."
            "Zak, please, I..."
            "Get out!" Zak yelled so loud, causing Gracie to run out of the room and hide behind the couch. Lindsey walked out with her head down, and her tail between her legs. Zak was completely ashamed of himself. How was he going to even begin his apology?