On The Edge Of Falling

Too Little, Too Late

I had to hold down the sample cards, as the warm Vegas breeze continued to blow them off the table outside. Billy sat with me, helping me decide on a color for the studio. We have been working on the studio for a couple of weeks now. It all looked perfect and the only thing left to do was painting the walls. The choice of paint was a lot harder than you'd think. It wasn't just the color of the walls, it was the color that would represent me, and my business. "I think you should go with this red." Billy said, as he picked up the card with the five different shades of red. He lifted his hand to shield from Bacon and Aaron's splashing in the pool.
            "Yeah, I think this one is totally my style." I replied, as I tapped on a deep red. I laughed, as I watched Aaron dunk Bacons head under water. As he splashed back up, he swung his soaking beard around, smacking Aaron in the cheek.
            "That's the one I was thinking."
            Aaron and Bacon lifted themselves out of the pool and joined us at the table. I had to blow away the smoke from Bacons cigarette, as it rolled towards my face. Aaron wrapped a towel around his shoulders and sat beside me. "So, have you heard from Zak at all?" I asked, casually enough to not make my strong concern obvious.
            "No, actually, I haven't heard from him since that day before we surprised you with the studio." Aaron replied. Billy quickly looked to him.
            "Wait, that week was the last I heard from him too." Billy said, with a narrowed brow. "Bacon, have you talked to him?"
            "Nope, he won't even return my texts." Bacon said, as the cigarette smoke soared from his mouth, causing me to waft it away again.
            "He's probably too far shoved up Lindsey's ass to care." I scoffed.
            "Addy, we're his best friends." Aaron sighed. I stood up, while snatching the red sample card. "He wouldn't just cut us out of his life completely. I mean, filming starts in a week."
            "Well, then we can stop by on our way to the studio." Billy said, as he stood beside me. I glared at him, with a strong residue of betrayal in my eyes, as if he had just murdered my best friend.
            "I'm not going to his house."
            "You don't have to go in. I just want to make sure he's alive."
            "Oh, I'm sure Lindsey takes wonderful care of him." I grunted, as I made my way inside. Aaron and Bacon followed me to get dressed, as Billy stared at me in the kitchen. I placed my hands on the counter top, leaning forward and gripping on as hard as I could. I didn't know if it was the anger, or if I was physically trying to prepare myself.
            "Okay, Addy, we can wait and see him later tonight. I won't force you to go there."
            "No, it's fine. He was your friend long before I was. You should check on him, he would do the same for you. I'll be alright, but I will be sitting in the car." Billy walked to me and wrapped me in his arms, swaying me back and forth like he was rocking a baby to sleep. It was oddly comforting, until Aaron and Bacon walked in.
            "Hey, Addy, can I hold you like that?" Bacon asked, with no grin, telling me he was completely serious about his proposition.
            "No, you cannot, Bacon." I smiled, and gave him a wink, as I walked out towards the car.
            "Sorry, bro." Aaron laughed, as he slapped Bacons back.
            "Hey, she wants me. She's just playing hard to get. It's the beard, bro. Chicks can't resist the beard." Bacon walked outside with Aaron and Billy, who couldn't hold back their laughter.
            I felt as if my blood was literally boiling in my veins, as Aaron pulled his car into Zak's driveway. To my surprise, Lindsey's car wasn't parked outside the garage. I curled a brow, and smiled at the thought of Zak actually being alone, not aware that he was far more lonely than I thought.
            Billy, Bacon, and Aaron rang the doorbell repeatedly, with no answer. Aaron and Billy looked to each other concerned. Finally, Billy turned the door handle, and unexpectedly the unlocked door opened. The floor creaked underneath their feet, as they slowly made their way inside, and they were immediately met with a barking Gracie. Once she realized she knew their faces, she wagged her tail and greeted them with excited jumps and rapid wags of her tail. "Hey, grace, where's your douche bag father?" Aaron asked, as he pet behind her ear.
            "Funny." Zak said, while he stood at the top of the stairs, wearing nothing, but a pair of boxers, a long robe, and a frown. "What are you doing here?"
            "Hey, man, we were just wondering if you were okay? Haven't heard from you in a hot minute." Billy replied. Zak began to walk down the steps, his strides short and slow. Just by looking at his untrimmed facial hair and his sunken eyes, they could see that strong despair. "Where's Lindsey?"
            "Gone. She uh, left a couple weeks ago."
            "Like for good?" Bacon asked. Zak answered with a quick nod, before he made his way to the kitchen. Gracie closely followed, being very protective of him.
            "I'm sorry, bro." Aaron sighed, as he and the guys sat at the kitchen table with Zak. Zak chugged some more of his warm bottle of Fiji water, and firmly placed it back on the table, causing some to splash out and hit his trembling hands.
            "Don't be. Addy was right. She was cheating on me. Using me for my money and fame. I kicked her out."
            "Sorry, bro, but we tried to tell you. You didn't want to listen to us." Billy said, while giving Aaron a curious smirk, not aware of Zak was going to react.
            "It's fine. It's my fault. I was so focused on getting over Addy, when I should've been focused on getting her back, but now...how the hell am I even going to attempt to fix this? She was trying to protect me...and I..." Zak bowed his head in his hands.
            "You could still fix it, bro. Just apologize." Bacon urged. "I'm sure she'll understand."
            "No, she won't."
            "Zak's right." Billy said. Zak looked down at the table, afraid of that truth. He learned first hand what it was like to be alone. To live without me. He didn't want to continue that if it meant being alone forever. Zak quickly pinched the bridge of his nose, preventing crying in front of the guys. "I'm sorry, man, but she's still pissed. You really hurt her. You didn't even give her a chance, you just tossed her aside like you did to the rest of us."
            "I know that, Billy!" Zak yelled, as he threw his bottle of water to the floor. "Do you think I feel good about that? Do you think I wouldn't take it all back if I could? Why do you think I've locked myself away for two weeks? I can't stand to fucking look at myself in the mirror! I drove away the only girl I've ever...." Zak paused, before he said something that would give away too much of himself.
            "That you've ever what?" Aaron asked.
            "I know, she hates me." Zak said, completely avoiding the question. "I need to talk to her, no matter what happens, I need to try."
            "She's in the car." Bacon said, causing Billy to slap his arm. Zak stood quickly and walked to the living room, peeking through the front blinds. Billy rushed after him, and watched as Zak smiled when he saw me. I brushed the hair out of my face, as I leaned towards the radio. Turning up the volume of the music, and nodding along to the beat.
            "She looks really good." Zak smiled.
            "This isn't the time, bro." Billy said.
            "I need to tell her, Billy."
            "Not now. She is in a good place of her life right now and she doesn't need anything, or anyone complicating it. She has her own business, she'll be opening in a few days. You can't get in her head right now."
            "So, what am I supposed to do? Just lock myself back in my bedroom? Acting like nothing happened?"
            "For now? Yes." Billy said, as he grasped Zak's shoulder. "I will let you know when it's a good time, please." Zak hated every second he wasn't near me, but he ultimately agreed to Billy's wishes.
            The tension that they brought to the car with them, was so strong you could tear it open like a fresh wound. Aaron turned the key, and gave me the most insincere smile I've ever laid eyes on. "Everything okay?" I asked, not showing that much concern for Zak. I was more worried about their awkward behavior.
            "Yeah, Zak's fine. He's been a little busy, you know, he has to be his own assistant now." Aaron chuckled.
           "Why doesn't he just get his money grubbing girlfriend to help him out?"
           "He's not with her anymore, Addy." Billy said from the back. I quickly turned to face him. "Don't look at me like that."
           "Did he catch her in the act? Oh, my god, please, tell me she fucked someone in that assholes bed!"
           "Addy, be nice." Billy grunted.
           "No, fuck him! You guys can be nice to him all you want, but I'm glad he's alone! The fucker deserves to suffer as much as he made me suffer." I turned forward in my seat, and firmly buckled my seatbelt. My mind was starting to become way louder than my heart. I really didn't want to see Zak again. I was finally happy, and I planned on staying that way. I wasn't going to be dragged back into that dark hole.
            The next morning approached, and I couldn't wait to go to the studio, and see the final result. I called a cab, and decided to go alone. The guys had helped me so much, and I knew that I wouldn't have anything without them, but I needed some time alone to prepare. I paid the taxi driver, and excitingly skipped into the studio. The final result was stunning. Sounds cliche, but my breath was literally extracted from my body. It was all I've ever imagined and more. The walls were painted a deep red, pairing perfectly with the black leather couches and chairs, and bouquets of roses everywhere.
            Suddenly, I heard the bell on the door ring, as someone stepped in. "Excuse me, we're not open yet." I said, as I came out from the back room, with a box of my framed photography I still needed to hang. I almost dropped the box to the floor, as I stood face to face with Zak. "What the hell are you doing here?"
            "Addy, I..."
            "Get out."
            "Addy, please..."
            "Get out!"
            "Addy, let me explain!"
            "Did you let me explain? Before, you threw me out on the street?" I yelled back, tears already forming in my eyes, but these weren't filled with sadness.
            "I'm so sorry."
            "I don't care." I said, as I walked to the table in front of the couch and took out the large drill and box of screws. I pulled out the first picture frame and climbed the ladder to hang it.
            "Addy, I know I fucked up."
            "Doesn't matter, Zak."
            "Just listen to me, please."
            "It doesn't matter what you say, or what you do, I am never going to forgive you for what you did to me." I placed the frame on the wall and examined its straightness.
            "A little to the left." Zak said. I rolled my eyes, and corrected the alignment. "Do you need some help?"
            "No! I don't want anything from you!" I yelled, as I picked up the ladder and moved it to the next spot. With my mind in shambles, I tripped and pinched my fingers in between the folded steps. "Fuck!" I shrieked, as I released the ladder and watched it fall to the floor. Zak rushed to me and grabbed my hand, looking at my throbbing finger.
            "Are you okay?" Zak asked. I ripped my hand from his grasp and picked up the ladder. Luckily it hadn't broke anything during its fall. "Let me get that for you." Zak reached for the ladder, and I dropped it again. This time on purpose, I needed all of my strength to push him away.
            "I said get out!"
            "Addy, just stop! I want to be with you, okay? Please, give me another chance! I was an asshole, and you didn't deserve to be treated that way! If you let me..."
            "You're right. I don't deserve to be treated this way, that is why I'm not giving you another chance. I will never be treated like that again. So, go. Be free, Zak Bagans. Be a man whore, and screw whoever you want." I inched closer to him, pushing his chest, closer and closer to the door. "Don't text me. Don't call me. Don't come near me ever again." I swung open the front door, and gestured him to leave.
            "Addy...."
            "Get out..."
            "Listen to me!"
            "No!!!"
            "I love you!" Zak shouted at me, from behind the glass. For a moment, I reacted with my jaw dropped, forgetting about everything that's happened. My heart was telling me to let him back in and take him with everything I had left in me, but I finally listened to my mind, when it told me to move on.
            "I don't love you." I said, coldly, with zero emotion. I locked the door, and continued to work on hanging the frames. I noticed the sky growing dark, and Zak jumped when he heard the thunder roll in the clouds. The pouring rain fell down upon him, but he didn't move. He stood at the door, with his hands firm against the glass.
            "I know you love me, Addilyn, and I'm not giving up on you! Whatever you need to do, however long it'll take, I will be here waiting!"