shopping

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"Bye boys see you at 12!" Zoe yells and then rolls her eyes "they're so bloody annoying" she says jokingly and I laugh "Okay first step to a great girls day" she says taking her phone out of her pocket "You too love" she says and I grab mine from my pocket "turn that thing the he'll off" she says turning hers off too "and were ready to go" she says smiling and walking toward the shops on the pier "Okay so where do you want to go first?" "I dunno I never really got further than a mall right outside my orphanage and even then I only snuck into stores from the back so I never really knew any names" "Okay so what we do is in this situation is hit Starbucks and get some food and coffee then we go to every store there is with brief coffee trips between cause this is gonna take a lot of enrgy" "sounds amazing" I say smiling knowing no one can hurt me here and feeling extra safe having my phone off. We go to Starbucks and I don't eat anything but Zoe does and I get a Venti iced caramel machiatto and we sit down and just talk for a while before she's done with her food and drink and I'm still working on mine "ready to go" "mind if I bring this along?" I ask and my accent starts to come back and I giggle "what?" "I forgot about my accent coming back being around you since I'd been in America so long it went away" I say and she laughs "yeah that's gonna drive Troye and Tyler crazy considering you'll probably be switching back and forth" "well rip them I like my british accent more than my American accent so whatever" "Tyler will think it's adorable buy Troye probably will think you're faking it" "he was one of the first people to meet me he should know it isnt" "this is Troye were talking about here" "yeah you're right" I say as we enter a shop with flannels and band t-shirts and odd backpacks all inside "omg Lils this is so you!" "When was this store put in?" Zoe asks an employee "we just opened this morning" she replies in an American accent smiling at Zoe "wow" I say looking around from the spot im standing in. "Yo Lilly would love this place" I hear someone say from the door and I spin around and see Tyler standing in the doorway "lol such a small world" he giggles and Zoe rolls her eyes "where's the boys Ty?" "I dunno they told me I had five minutes in the aeropostale outlet or they were leaving me and I took five and a half and when I came put they were gone" "no man left behind sivan" Zoe scolds when we meet up with the boys at lunch and I've had about 3 coffees at this point "yo what's Lilly on" troye asks "coffee" Zoe says and we start walking toward some restaurants "yo Zoe she's about to crash man" Alfie says as I begun to grow sleepy "has she eaten anything?" Tyler asks and I can already see the disappointment in troyes eyes "she said she wasn't hungry earlier "Zoe we talked about this" Troye sighs "hwy don't blame this on her I should've eaten I'm sorry I didn't mean to disappoint you like that Troye" I say as the caffeine begins to settle and my depression begins to settle in "no Lilly you didn't disappoint me honey it's okay" Troye says and I trudge along behind the group wishing for nothing but Mary to be by my side. *how's brighton?* pops up on my screen from Mary as we sit down at a table in a restaurant *idk it's okay I guess. How's school* *not that same without you* *I hate being so far away from you for so long* *I hate it too :( gtg, class, love you* *love you too* I set my phone down and excuse myself to the bathroom where I sit on the sink counter and cry for a little bit *food* Troye texts me and I clean up my face and find myself pushing food around my plate mindlessly while staring off into space "Lilly you need to est" Troye says sternly and I stand up and walk out of the building and sit down on a bench a few buildings down "Lilly seriously it was a simple task you had no reason to walk out like thatc Troye yells at me and I look up at him makeup and tears streaming down my face "Lilly come back and eat please it's that simple" I just sit there crying and finally Tyler comes out to my rescue and Troye walks away com sorry about him he doesn't understand what it's like in a situation like this Lils it'll take him a while to adjust to how your depression affects you but it'll hit him at some point and he'll be sorry and he'll try to fix it I promise" I sit there silently and just cry and Tyler holds me as I do "I'm sorry" I mutter after a while "don't be I know what it's like little one and just know you aren't alone and you don't need to think you are I'm always here and out guest room is always open to you when we get back home" "does Troye hate me?" "No hon he just doesn't understand what's going on" "I wish I was normal" "normal sucks Lilly be yourself and do your best at being yourself it's the best thing that you can do"

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