Broken (Haikyuu!! Fanfic)

(3)

It was finally time for afternoon practice. He didn't know how to feel about it, he felt that he would fuck up and let something slip but he was also excited because practice meant that he could do the quick with Kageyama. These two emotions didn't mix well and resulted in him being extremely nervous and jumpy.

When he arrived in the club room, no one was in there yet, just how he liked it. When he was alone in there he didn't have to worry about any wandering eyes lingering for too long on his back to see the shadows of bruises, to catch a glimpse of the thin white lines he carved into his thighs and hips, to see just how skinny he was, to ask why he works so hard but there's no muscle. If he were to get proper meals everyday then he would be extremely muscular but he barely eats enough to keep from passing out. Somedays he enjoys the empty feeling in his stomach, it reminds him of the terror living in his home.

Hinata was just exiting the club room when Daichi and Suga walked in. Clearly they were surprised to see Hinata there and ready so early, but they just said their 'Hello's' and continued in.
If only they had confronted him about this mornings hesitation
If only they had thought back to the remainders of bruises they frequently saw on his neck and arms
But they tallied those incidents to being tired and training too hard.
It wasn't their fault. They didn't realize that they were supposed to be looking for signs for abuse.

Practice went mechanically well. Hinata was very much in control and it showed.
When they ran, he instructed his legs to move one in front of the other faster and faster.
When they did receives, he ordered his body to move and it did.
During spiking, his brain told his legs to jump and his arms to swing and they did.
And throughout the entire practice his mouth grinned and eyes shined just as they normally would.

Although he couldn't help but notice Tsukishima's gaze planted on him. Looking through him as if he knew everything. So as soon as practice was over he reluctantly got on his bike without saying goodbye and ordered his legs to pedal.

A surprise was waiting for him when he got home. People. His fathers friends from work.  They must have come over for dinner. Some had a beer in their hand while others had water. It was a nice change to see a different drink in a grown mans hand.
"Ah! There's my son! Shoyo! Come say hello." He heard his fathers voice call and it wasn't slurred. He had been drinking water. Probably only for appearances.
"Hello everyone." It was obvious that he was exhausted, both from volleyball and keeping up his facade all day.
"I heard you play volleyball! Very impressive! Especially for someone of your height!" One of them said and he would thank them. He hid a grimace as he did.
"Shoyo could you please go into the kitchen and help clean up?" His father demanded. To most it would sound like a question, hell at first he thought it was a question. But he quickly remembered and started off to the kitchen.
"Oh come on  let the boy go to bed, he looks as if he's gonna fall asleep any second now!" The gleam in his fathers eye when this was said was terrifying.
"No it's okay! I'm happy to help!"

His hands were sore and all he wanted to do was sleep. Sleep didn't come very easy to Hinata, so he made sure to take every opportunity for it. But of course his father wouldn't let him go upstairs until everything was tidy and looked as though he and his buddies hadn't trashed the place. It was sometimes hard to believe that Tsukishima thought that he wasn't a hard worker. If Hinata applied himself a little more to his studies and not covering bruises and creating future scars he could become a fantastic student. But he knew that he still had to get decent grades, he knew what would happen if he didn't.
Halfway through cleaning up he heard his fathers friends say that it was getting late and their families would be wondering where they were, but Hinata never slowed down his pace of cleaning. He had to continue on. It had been 12 minutes after the last guest had left that Hinata was finally finished.
This also happened to be when his father entered the kitchen for yet another beer.
"Alright I'm sick of looking at you you disgusting piece of shit, go to bed."
'Thank god'
Stumbling sluggishly into his room, he closed the door and locked it. As soon as he locked the door he let out a sigh of relief. He was safe. Sometimes he wondered how his father even had friends in the first place.
'Well he is a functioning alcoholic'
They learned about it in health class that year, he made sure to pay special attention to that unit.
They also mentioned during that health unit characteristics of someone being abused, he made sure to take very extensive notes so he would know how to better hide it. It worked, or it has been since no one has ever directly mentioned anything to him. That's the way it needs to be. Hinata doesn't like it but at least he can understand that much.

Soon enough his inner alarm clock startled him awake at 4:30 in the morning. It wasn't that he didn't want to sleep, it was that he simply couldn't. Either from being in a constant state of fear that his father would barge into his room and started mercilessly beating him or insomnia, he was lucky if he was getting 5 hours of sleep each night.

On nights, or mornings, like this, Hinata would get out of bed and begin to work out. He couldn't explain why he did this, since it burned the little calories he had consumed, but it was a way to get his mind off of whatever could barge in at any second. He was actually very muscular for not having the proper nutrition to maintain muscles.

Finally it was time for him to set off for school. He liked to leave an hour early so that 1) he wouldn't disturb his father and 2) so he could take his time. He and Kageyama would always race to practice but in reality if Hinata walked at a regular pace he could easily beat his friend every time. It was just too much effort to walk regularly.
'Another day in hell...'he thought to himself finally reaching the school gates.

Hey everyone I am so so sorry for not updating but tbh I kinda forgot this existed lmao ok bye I love u