Broken (Haikyuu!! Fanfic)

(10)

As the sharp air entered and exited his lungs, Hinata realized what he had done.
Stopping in his tracks, he whispered to himself
"They're all going to know."

Hinata just wanted to be safe.
To be loved.
To be accepted.
But most of all, he wanted his mother and younger sister.
He missed the way that his mother would lie down in bed with him and stroke his hair when he had a bad dream. She would hum softly in his ear until he fell asleep again. She was always warm, he could never remember a time when he touched her and she wasn't warm.
When Natsu came along she cried so much at night, she was running his mother ragged and his father almost never woke up when she cried. So Hinata decided that he needed to step up as the older brother. If she would cry, Hinata ran to his parents room and put his mother back to bed, then he would sneak into Natsu's room and do the same that his mother did for him. He would hold her in his arms and hum the same tune. All the while running his hands through her hair, and for a baby, she had a lot of it. Hinata could get her back to sleep within 5 minutes.

But they were gone now.
He was all alone.
He could no longer cry for his mother, he would never feel her warmth again.
There was only one choice left. He had to protect himself, and for this to happen, he needed to lie.

After the semi-long journey back to the gym, he found Daichi and Suga talking outside. They seemed to be concerned and anxious. Once they saw Hinata, the younger of the three began his act.
"I-I'm sorry for lashing out..." He put his head down to mimic shame and discomfort. He knew that if he just blamed it on his nightmare from last night all his problems would be solved. Tsukishima was bound to tell someone about what had happened that morning, so if he said that it was an extremely graphic dream and it put him on edge, his Senpai would most likely be satisfied with that answer.
"What happened Hinata? I mean anyone would get angry over constantly being yelled at but...you broke the wall. Is everything okay?" Daichi stepped forward toward Hinata.
"Um, yeah I just...well last night I had this dream. Well to be more specific it wasn't a dream at all, it was more of a nightmare...I don't really feel comfortable talking about it but it was really...um...graphic I guess is the right word. I think I was still just a little shaken from it." To call Hinata a good actor was grossly underselling his talent. His words were like a syrup that effortlessly rolled off his tongue. Excuse after excuse was carefully worded and articulated with a sort of precision that only professionals had. It was a spectacular sight. He's had so much practice lying to others it's become second nature.
"O-Oh, well I'm sorry about that Hinata. Maybe we should pull you out of the rest of the practice matches today?" Daichi turned to Suga to get his opinion but before he could fully face him Hinata shouted.
"No! Please don't! I gave myself time to cool off! I'm feeling much better now honestly!"
"Honestly Hinata I'm not sure. But you do seem to be much more refreshed, maybe we'll put you in for now and then see how it goes later." Suga couldn't resist his underclassmen's puppy dog eyes. But he couldn't help but notice the dullness in them. Had they always been like this? Before he could look deeper, Hinata had thrown 'thank you's ' and ' I won't let you down's ' at them and ran off.

Entering the gym after storming off proved to be one of the most awkward things Hinata had ever experienced. Some had stared at him from across the room while others that were closer made quick glances in his direction then back at the hole in the wall. Hinata was actually semi-impressed that he was able to punch an actual hole in a wall. Sure it might have been broken because of where he punched but still.
His hand had been slightly bruised and bloodied around his boney knuckles, but other than that Hinata was ready.
He knew that he needed to work harder than ever to bring the team up out of the mud.
He knew that in order to be the best he could never stop training. Not until he was perfect.
What he didn't know was that perfection was an unattainable goal.

Hello!! I meant to post this earlier in the week but I couldn't think of a proper way to end the chapter, I hope this is good!
Currently I am sitting in bed at 11:58 pm on a Sunday night finishing this up. I think I have a steady writing rhythm going so hopefully I'll be able to post at least 1-2 chapters a week!
I love you all so much!💜