Broken (Haikyuu!! Fanfic)

(40)

TW: for this chapter (suicidal thoughts/ideation, feelings of worthlessness, depression) if you're sensitive to these topics please take caution before reading!

The next week of staying at Ukai's was entertaining to say the least.
The first few nights were spent getting a steady routine in place. Ukai would first come home from the foothill store ,after leaving it in the hands of an employee, to change and gather his belongings. Hinata would then join him on his way to the school for afternoon practice.
The two, along with Hinata's various doctors decided it would be more beneficial for Hinata to get as much rest as he could, which included taking the time to sleep in. This was something Hinata had never really done before. His insomnia still prevented him from falling asleep, all the while his nightmares made him thankful for the insomnia.
Still he followed directions and "slept in". When in reality it would just be Hinata on his phone, or studying trying to catch up on what he missed.

However some nights never changed. On some nights, the voices would come back. And bring with them the self-loathing, guilt, and anxiety.
On need these particular nights, sometimes Hinata would come dangerously close to breaking his promise with Dani.
He would try and text her during the night, and sometimes she would even respond and stay up to talk to him.
It had been a while since they last saw each other or spoken even over the phone. It was too risky in Dani's case, so they chose to stick with texting.
Hinata missed her with all his heart.
He wanted to bring her to Ukai's to stay, but he knew that meant he first had to discuss it with the homeowner himself.

He would tell her everything that had been happening with him, in a condensed version that would fit the number of words allowed in a single text message, but he still tried to give as much detail as he could.
He wanted her to be hopeful of their new life. He wanted to share his happiness with her and his freedom with her.

One of the topics they would repeatedly talk about was school.

It had been strange going back. He had gotten lots of stares, he had expected that. Although he wasn't sure how much his classmates knew about what had happened to him. Strangely however, no one approached him about the topic which he was immensely thankful for.
Hinata had figured that the volleyball team had done damage control of the rumors. He honestly didn't care what was said about him behind his back, he just didn't want to deal with anyone getting in his face on his first day back.

In fact, all of his teachers had made sure to not call him out in class for being unprepared or not having work done, even when he deserved it. It was definitely the work of Takeda sensei.
Hinata grinned.
That man sure watched their backs like a hawk. Something Hinata was grateful for. It was nice to have someone watching out for you.

Although Hinata tried his best, it was very difficult for him to balance so many aspects of his life.
Dani, catching up on school, stressing out about his father, therapy, and not to mention his mental baggage.
It felt like he had too much on his plate and something had to give.

Unfortunately, it was Dani.

It would be so easy for Hinata to just not check his phone.
It wasn't purposeful in the slightest, it was just that in the present, Hinata had many tasks directly in front of him.
So many that it would be hard to see anything or anyone that wasn't directly in front of him.

It wasn't as if he had ghosted her completely, it was just that he took much longer to respond than normal.
Inside Dani's mentality ill mind though, she was a burden. A ball and chain to Hinata. Nothing more than a hinderance now.
She was useless, pathetic and ugly. She was forgettable.

Her feelings of isolation and self-loathing continued to manifest. Spiraling into a depression episode, Dani barely left her room. She only left to binge eat or get beaten. She felt like a shell of a human. Nothing worth saving.