Broken (Haikyuu!! Fanfic)

(30)

Hey everyone! For this chapter I wanted to try something different.
This chapter will be through Dani's point of view!
I want to give some warnings to anyone who could be triggered by the following topics:
-Eating disorder thoughts/actions/habits
-abuse by a parent/adult
-mention of sexual abuse by parent/adult

I've been wanting to try and write in Dani's point of view for a while, but it's the first time I've done something like this so I'm sorry if it's not very good writing!

I shot awake in my bed, dazed and confused not knowing what was happening. Then I heard another crash of what I assumed to be a plate or bowl.
sigh
'They must be fighting again' I thought to myself. And as I tuned my ears into the chaos that was going on downstairs sure enough I heard their yelling.

Both my mother and her scumbag boyfriend Hiro had issues of their own. I never really heard any stories of their childhood, but I doubt they were pleasant. Maybe that's why they do the things that they do to me.
However I'm determined to break that cycle.

'When Hinata and I have kids I know tha-'
Wait wait what am I even saying??
That's so creepy that I would just assume Hinata would want to have children with me! Plus we're way too young! Why am I even thinking about this??

I could feel my face heat up beet red.

Deciding to shake the thought out of my head, I instead thought about breakfast. Should I even try and eat today?
Usually if I would try and get something to eat when they're downstairs I'll end up getting a beating, so it's become a habit that I do everything that I can to avoid confrontation.

Over time though, I've come to enjoy the empty feeling that I have in my stomach. It's the one thing that I can control. Everything else in my life has been torn and ripped to shreds. Everything except this.
If nothing else, I can control this.

At least that's what I would like to think. My eating, or lack there of, has been slowly but surely consuming my entire life. It's all that I can think about.
Part of me wants Hinata's help, to be able to trust him to help me get better. But the other part, the sick part, wants me to push him out of my life forever because I deserve to live like this. Each day this part of me pushes me further and further, it's gotten to the point where I've just begun to listen to it. It's easier than fighting it.

Actually, I think the only reason I even fight it anymore is because of Hinata. I want to be able to escape with him. He said he would help me, but is that really true? Won't he just leave me like everyone else did once they find out how messed up I actually am?
If my own father can leave, anyone can.

It's a Monday morning but I'm in no rush to get ready for school. In order to control who I interact with and when, i was forced to start homeschooling a few years ago. Of course I was never actually taught anything, so I was left to learn on my own.
Doing this just made me feel even more hopeless. This way I would never make any friends or build any lasting relationships like teenagers are supposed to in high school. At least that's what it's like in anime and other shows. I used to be able to watch a lot more TV, now I can't as much.

Finally getting out of bed at 8:30, I decide to remove my phone from it's hiding place and check my text messages.

(1) new message from -HINATA-
"Good morning!!! On my way to morning practice \(>~<)/"

A small chuckle escaped my lips and I found myself smiling from ear to ear. That goofball.

He knows I can't see regular emojis now so he's making his own. A blush creeped its way up my face.
'He's so thoughtful' I thought to myself.