What Happens on the Neon Lights Tour.... (Nemi)

Guilty Conscious

Nick 

Our first night in Punta Cana was fun. We went out with my aunt & uncle, then it got a little less fun when we got back to our hotel room. Olivia was all over me, wanting to have sex. I had to give in, but I imagined Demi the entire time, keeping my eyes squeezed shut every moment I could. Imagining Demi was more difficult than I thought it would be, because Olivia wasn't as active in bed as Demi. Olivia certainly wasn't as vocal which was beneficial to me. Olivia mostly breathed heavy & I was pretty sure she faked every "orgasm." She wasn't as comfortable with sex as Demi was. I got the impression it was how she was raised, a little on the conservative side. I think that's what most attracted me to her, at first. She wasn't into the dramatics & she was simple. Ordinary. Now I knew without a doubt, I couldn't live with ordinary for the rest of my life.

I didn't sleep much because I was sick with guilt. I have never experienced guilt like this before. As Olivia laid next to me, draping her arm over my stomach, I was nauseous from my indiscretion. I didn't feel guilty for sleeping with Demi, I felt guilty for sleeping with my girlfriend. How wrong was that? I couldn't stop thinking about Demi & how hurt she was knowing I was having sex with Olivia. I prayed that I would come down with some sort of illness so I'd have an excuse not to have sex with Olivia, anymore, while we were here.

I tried to enjoy my vacation even as miserable as I was. I got a pedicure while Olivia & my aunt Angela were getting some sort of of wrap done, enjoying some alone time. That was probably the most fun I had on the vacation. It was definitely the most relaxing. I texted Demi when I could, but Olivia was pretty far up my ass, I didn't find a whole lot of time to text her. Olivia & I spent some time at the beach & that was actually a good time. She was a fun girl. We laughed a lot. She was clingy in the ocean though & I kept looking around for cameras, afraid Demi would see something & get upset. I saw someone take a few pictures of us as we were getting out of the water.

The day after the beach, Olivia & I were laying by the pool. I started thinking about what Demi had said about her & Olivia being polar opposites. I looked over at Olivia who was leaning on her side, playing with her nail. I looked at her perfectly polished fingernails, all the same boring color, nothing like Demi's. I sighed, making Olivia look up at me. I reached over & touched her hair, gently stroking it & smiled, thinking Demi was right. They were polar opposites.

"Have you ever thought about changing your hair?" I asked.

Olivia made a face, shaking her head. "Changing it how?"

"I don't know. I just have never seen your hair look any different unless you're doing a photo shoot or going to an event." I tried not to sound like a dick.

"I like my hair." She pouted.

"I do, too. It's beautiful. I just wondered, that's all, if you ever thought about a haircut or changing the color."

Olivia pursed her lips. "Like what? Pink?" She rolled her eyes & made a sound like a laugh but not really a laugh. I got very defensive of Demi all of the sudden.

"Any color really. I mean not everyone can pull off pink." I put my hands behind my head & closed my eyes. "You don't even have any tattoos. You ever gonna get a tattoo?"

She clicked her tongue. "I would have to be really positive about something before I permanently put something on my body." I heard her sigh. "So you don't think I'd look as good as Demi with pink hair?"

"I'm sure you'd look fine. It's just weird that you don't change it up after so many years. Your hair looks exactly the same in all of your pictures from like the last five years."

"So I'm boring?"

I opened one eye to peek at her. "Nothing wrong with boring. Many say that about me." I shrugged my shoulders.

Olivia laid down & barely said another word to me until we were getting ready for dinner that night. "Do you have a problem with the way I look?" She asked, watching me as she looked in the mirror. I was on the bed putting my shoes on.

"No." I didn't want to start a fight. Not now.

"I think you wish I could be as edgy as Demi." It was amazing that women could talk as they put on makeup. It just looks like it would take so much concentration.

I groaned. "What gives you that idea?"

She shrugged her shoulders, putting her lipstick on. "If I didn't want you to go back on her tour, would you not go?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I stood up, putting my hands on my hips. I stared at her, unsure if she really just asked me that question. "What did you ask me?"

"I think you heard me." Olivia said, now pursing her lips as she checked her reflection.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"I don't think you should be spending that much time with her. I think she's interested in you as more than a friend. I can see it in her face." Olivia turned around to face me, her expression cocky.

I wrinkled my forehead. "She has a boyfriend."

Olivia laughed. "Sorta. Joe said they are always on again off again."

I shook my head. "No, they aren't. They are very much on." I grabbed my jacket off the back of a chair. "I will not be controlled Olivia. Let's just get that straight right now." I put my jacket on with aggression. "Let's get going. I heard this place has a long wait." I headed to the door, Olivia following. We made our way to the restaurant & had to wait for twenty minutes or so. I found a spot to lean against a wall & ignored Olivia. She kept trying to get me to talk to her & I didn't, until I was forced to, at dinner. That's when I cleared the air, sorta.

"Listen. Demi has been my best friend since I was a kid. She is just as important to me as my brothers or any other close friends. I won't choose you, if you were to make me choose between you & her. Honestly, I would resent you & probably dump you. So my advice is to never ever make it seem like you want me to stay away from her or to choose between you two. Got it?" I said to Olivia after we ordered our food.

Olivia looked as if she were about to cry & I didn't even care. "I'm sorry, Nick. I would never ask you to choose." She reached out to hold my hand. I felt my phone vibrate so I pulled my hand away to check it. If my night couldn't get any worse, there was a photo of Demi with Wilmer & all of his castmates. She had tweeted it & it came to my phone. I missed her. I wanted to talk to her so badly right now.

As my time in Punta Cana ended, I stopped hearing back from Demi when I texted her. Olivia was heading to Dubai on the 22nd & I was supposed to head back to L.A. because Joe & I had an event on the 25th we were attending. The last time I heard anything from Demi was on the 18th. Ever since Olivia tweeted the picture of me & her together, I hadn't heard from Demi. She probably saw the selfie. Little did she know, that when I took that picture with Olivia, I had been thinking of Demi. We were hanging out one evening in Punta Cana & just when I held my arm out, "Neon Lights" started playing on the radio, making me think of her. I texted Demi as much as I could & she never responded. I tried calling her a few times & no answer. I was getting pissed now. Especially after seeing the photo of her with Wilmer.

I sent Olivia off to Dubai & I made my way to my plane which wasn't leaving for several hours. On the way, I saw a sign for North Carolina & I got an idea. I bee lined for the ticket counter. When it was my turn, I approached the woman at the counter, smiling. "I need to change my flight if possible. Instead of going to L.A., I need to get on a flight to Charlotte, North Carolina. One way ticket, please." The woman took my ticket in response & punched on her computer, while I waited patiently. Demi had a show in Charlotte tomorrow night & I didn't need to be in L.A. until Tuesday morning. Demi would have a hard time ignoring me if I was standing in front of her, face to face.