a journey of self-discovery, independence and learning that maybe, just maybe, being single isn't so bad after all
HOW TO BE SINGLE
SIDEMEN
(SIMON, CHRIS & LEWIS)
DEATHLIES 2017
(inspired by the movie how to be single)
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It was the end of the day at last and, after Monday's events after work, Simon was eager to escape home. Monday had been nothing but drinking too much and embarrassing himself as Cal urged him to at least try to talk to girls. But, clubbing had never really been his thing. Sure, he'd been, but he'd always been with Adela and, well, she wasn't there anymore.
He pulled his jacket on, slung his bag over his shoulder and turned to leave. Unfortunately, Cal was stood in between him and the exit as he chatted away to Josh, who looked totally uninterested but nodded along anyway.
After Monday's night out, Simon had been avoiding Cal's questions and offers to go out again. It wasn't that he didn't like them, it was just he didn't want to be coming in to work late everyday. It was more rare for Cal and Josh to be on time than it was for them to be late. With it being his first week, Simon didn't think it was a great first impression on his boss, whoever that was.
He just wished he knew how they got away with it so easily.
Instead of hanging around, Simon decided just to go for it. He adjusted his bag on his shoulders and began to walk towards the door.
He picked up the pace as he approached, only smiling to Catherine on his way out. She didn't respond, probably picking up on his want to go unnoticed. She simply nodded her head, keeping her eyes him as he strode past and he likely would have made it past if she wasn't.
A hand clamped on his shoulder, spinning him back around. "Simon, my man, where're you going?"
"Home?" Although he was less certain about that now Cal's arm was around his shoulders, holding him in place.
"On a Friday night? I don't think so, buddy. You missed out on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night so you're definitely not missing out on tonight to go home and mope around missing your ex girlfriend," He said, much louder than Simon appreciated. Cal was often like this: larger than life. The way he talked to and about people were unnecessarily extra, and it was charming until you were the subject. "You have to come."
"I don't think I should."
"But we're going to the best bar in the local vicinity tonight. You can't miss it!"
"But-"
"No, buts!" Cal clapped his shoulder. "Leave your stuff here. Let's go and have the best night of your life." He began to walk to the door. Simon sniffled and then followed. They paused at the door and Cal turned back. "Josh, Cath, you guys wanna come?"
Josh shook his head and Catherine declined the offer in her usual way.
"Alright, suit yourselves. Let's roll!" He extended his finger out, pointing to the elevator and stalked off in front of Simon, who reluctantly followed.
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The pair entered the bar, immediately being swallowed up into the swaying atmosphere flowing with alcohol and bodies. The dim lights left Cal barely visible as he said, "This place is perfect for you. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Here, there's no way you could go wrong. Girls everywhere, dude!" He exclaimed, sticking close to his brand.
Simon gave him a look.
"You're single and not leaving this bar until you at least kiss a girl who isn't whoever-the-fuck you've been crying over."
"I was not crying," Simon protested before he could stop the words escaping him. He wished it wasn't the truth. Although he missed Adela, it hadn't really sunk in yet and, at this point, there was no going back. He was going to find out what it was link to be his own person: to be Simon, not Simon and Adela.
"Whatever, man. Get out there and prove it." Cal rolled his eyes and pushed Simon forward into the mess of bodies. "Make me proud!" He called after him as he spun on his feet and disappeared into the crowd like a fish through water.
Cal always seemed out of place in the office. Jolted and forced in like a mismatched puzzle piece, but here he moulded right in as if it were his second home. He mingled and flirted away, eventually finding himself being handed a drink and snaking his arm around a pretty blonde girl.
Simon let out a sigh and began to walk through the crowd. A girl bumped right into him, he apologised and so did she, giggling as she stepped out of his way and gushing to her friends. Simon paused for a moment, turned and asked, "Hey, do you think I could... um... would you like a drink?"
It had been such a long time since he'd had to ask that. Like walking on ice, but the girl smiled, bit her lip and nodded. She took one look at her friends over her shoulder before she and Simon walked to the bar.
She sat on the bar stool and he sat beside her. The girl looked him over once before she said, "I'm Stella, by the way." Stella swept her long, dark hair behind her shoulder and leant her elbow on the table.
"Simon," He replied, almost holding a hand out for, what would've been, an awkward handshake. As the barmaid sauntered over, Simon waved her over and ordered two drinks. The employee looked between him and Stella for a moment before shrugging her shoulders and pouring out the two drinks. She silently held out her hand for the money, which Simon handed over and declined the change.
He turned back to Stella. "So, do you come here a lot?" He asked.
Her rosy smile was gone, replaced with a bored expression. She looked at him for a moment before taking a long gulp of her drink. Simon saw her throat bob as she swallowed. "Yeah, I do. But I've never seen you here before." She stood from the barstool, put her free hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for the drink," She pepped before she slipped away and into the crowd, the drink he'd paid for in her claws.
Simon let out another deep sigh as he slumped on the stool, looking down into his drink like the cliché unlucky-in-love guy from a romantic comedy.
"She does that a lot," The barmaid said nonchalantly.
"Huh?" Simon looked up.
"That girl who just played you so hard. She does that to any guy she can get her hands on. Her name isn't even Stella and you need to learn not to trust every girl who smiles at you like you're God's gift."
"Alright, Cora," Cal's voice chimed from behind him. He was surprised when he slid into the seat beside him alone, the blonde nowhere in sight. "Lay off the guy. He's just rusty after being out of the game for however long."
"Break up, huh?"
"Yeah."
"They're on a 'break'," Cal mocked.
Cora laughed. "What the fuck, they don't exist."
"That's news to me."
Cora and Cal shared a look for a moment before she sent him a sly wink, an agreement. Then, she turned her honey eyes back to Simon and said, "Let me offer you another drink, on the house."
