The World You Never Expected

Emily: Part 13

This... is toxic.

I can't love you!

How dare you!

You're insufferable...

"Did you hear that Shawn and Sarah got engaged?" Nate asked. This pulled Emily out of her mind. All these fights they were having were so toxic. Nate would come home drunk sometimes and then they would argue and then just wake up the next morning like everything was... fine.. just fine.

"Yeah I did, I thought it was sort of funny," Emily said, instantly regretting her words and hoping that he would ask why it was funny... she couldn't bare another fight.

"What do you mean?" Nate asked.

Now Emily could leave and say 'nothing' but that would start a fight, so here we go.

"Sarah and Shawn are- were separated... in the dream world," Emily said, hoping for no more questions.

"What about us?" Nate asked quietly.

"We were married, or we were about to be.  The wedding was in a week."

"Oh."

Awkward pause...

Awkward pause...

Awkward pause...

"So my mom's going to be here in a week or so, planes and such."

"Hmn," he replied.

"Hmn," she mocked. He scowled slightly and stared at her coldly.

"Good," he said harshly.

"Good" she mocked again.

"Great."

"Fine," she said. Just  fine, she thought.

She sat in a chair, staring out the window in Nate's apartment, but her mind was somewhere else.  She couldn't do this anymore, it seemed so perfect but things had changed and time had been lost. They did their best and to hold their bond, but how long before it broke? Is it already broken? Things were fine... on the outside. All the press conferences where Nate told her what to say. Things just weren't as good as she thought they would be. She couldn't even leave, she loved him but- he was driving her mad, and she didn't know how much more she could take.

"Hey," Nate said, and he leaned forward and touched her shoulder.

"Don't touch me," she said with venom in her voice.

"Damn, okay." Nate laughed it off.

Why am I still staying here? was all Emily could think.

Nothing was said for a while... but a while felt like forever for Emily.  Her mind was racing so fast- too fast, and all she could think of was how fine things once were-

"Where do you think Alina is?" Nate asked.

"I don't know, I think she just wanted to get away," Emily said as she continued to stare at the window. She tried to ignore it,but she felt Nate's eyes burning a hole through her.

"Are we okay?" Nate asked.

You mean.  Are we fine?  Sure hun bun? Emily thought in a sarcastic tone, but didn't say anything. Nate took her silence as his answer.

"Oh m... then what's wrong?"

"You know damn well what is wrong because if you didn't then you wouldn't ask me if things were okay, so don't you start with me."

He started to turn Emily's chair. "Hey I-" he stopped when he realized how close they were. Emily had to move her head back a bit so she wouldn't hit him when the chair turned. "I..." Nate lost his train of thought, and ended up just staring at her blankly.

As they sat there, no words were said. It was as if time had stopped for the two of them. Their faces were so close that they were almost touching.

Nate moved closer so he could kiss her. At first Emily was in shock, she had told him that she couldn't get attached and neither could he, but now he had her starting to think that she could get attached, but she still knew it would only hurt Nate more. But, how much more would it hurt if he lost her before she died. Maybe... she thought... I could be happy for my last couple months- just maybe.

Nate kissed her, she kissed back.

When they pulled away, Emily looked to the ground as Nate looked at her.

"I love you," Nate said softly.

She knew she loved him too, but it was just- this would break his heart if she didn't say I love you back. Maybe it would stop him from caring, but then her heart would break.

"I... love... you too," Emily said in the smallest voice she had.

Just then, Emily had a thought- she made a plan in her mind to end this war with herself and there was only one way to do it.

She would start with Alina...