The Long Way Home

Chapter Sixty Five: In Sickness and Health

You don't wanna hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.
There's a thunder in our hearts, baby.
So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?

Placebo – Running Up That Hill

Night had fallen by the time Cass had managed to gather up the strength to visit her husband. She knew that by now Elizabeth would have given John the news on his condition. Cass could not have been the bearer of bad news, Elizabeth had put her foot down when Cass had demanded that she let her speak to John. She had thought that the other woman was carrying too much upon her shoulders.

"Share the burden," Elizabeth had said. "Your not the only one that cares about him."

The emotional distress was wearing on her and Cass knew it had to be evident upon her features. Elizabeth had stepped up and taken this bullet and now it was time for Cass to take her role as John's wife once more. That brief interlude with Ronon had focused her mind, it had given her a sense of reason and in turn a plan. They had a final shot before Cass lost her husband completely and despite Elizabeth's adamant argument she was going to that cave.

Cass had taken a risk telling Lorne of her plan. He had been the one that had ordered the team back away from the cave. The one that had held her hands between his larger ones as he looked her in the eyes and apologized with entire sincerity. In the end that was what had give Cass the idea to use him as her pilot in the first place, his remorse and sense of honour trapped him. She had known that he would feel obligated to uphold her plan and she had twisted it against him. It would be easy for the two of them to steal a Jumper, dial the DHD and head for the coordinates of the cave, when they returned they would face a variety of punishments but at least John would have a shot at survival. He was her priority above all others.

Their quarters were shrouded in complete darkness when Cass stepped inside. She could barely see anything more than the outline of their furniture as her eyes adjusted to the night. She wondered if this was the Iratus bug instincts coming into play, their natural habitats were damp, lifeless caves in the depths of the foothills. If Cass was right her husband would probably be located somewhere near the bathroom. She cursed as her foot clipped the coffee table, sending a shock of pain vibrating through her leg as she kilted off balance.

Hands were already on her shoulders, talons raking across her soft skin as they righted her progression. Cass's fingertips splayed across her husband's chest as he steadied her. There was something so intimately familiar about the gesture and for a second Cass forgot about the predicament they were in. Her palms rubbed up and down the contours of his chest before he drew away once more becoming one with the darkness.

Having him back away like that reminded her of why she was here. Cass wanted to reach out and touch him once more, to hold him close and kiss his mouth. To do that would be dangerous, she would be putting herself in the hands of the enemy as it were. John had told her that the retrovirus wanted to kill her, for some reason it judged Cass as a threat, she thought it was something to do with the bond that they shared. John had managed to keep a single shred of his humanity hidden in the fine threads that made their connection and Cass was doing everything she could to protect it.

Already Cass could feel his presence fading. The touch of his soul was faint, it's remains were the only thing she could feel as she sought him out. If her plan didn't work they would both end up losing each other and she wanted to say just one more goodbye to the real John Sheppard in case that happened. He had long since stopped taking the Inhibitor because the retrovirus was building up an immunity to it.

Any suggestion to continue it had been thwarted by the monster inside of John so Cass was going to do this the hard way if she had to. The barest shine of moonlight was showing through their curtains illuminating parts of the room. She turned to find John standing in front of her once more as the light flashed across his face. The transformation had progressed even more, the powder blue ridges had spread up across his handsome features, his tender hazel eyes had turned into a sordid yellow and both of his pupils were now slits. The creature didn't resemble John any more and it regarded her with an uncharacteristic head tilt as it leaned in close studying her face.