The Long Way Home

Chapter Seventy Six: In Laws

It took me back to the end
Of everything
I taste it all I taste it all
The tears again

Adam Lambert - Sleepwalker

The house that John had grown up in, or rather one of the house's was actually a ranch set on acres of wide open land. They had driven past the small stable and the empty fields on the way in and Cass had wondered if John's father had kept horses. Now her answer was standing here right in front of her in the form of a friendly chestnut brown mare.

Cass didn't know she liked horses until she met this one. It had wandered over to her when she had been spending some time in the garden near the fence allowing John and his father to get some personal time together. The mare was a stunning creature, it was strong, athletic and beauteous. It had huffed at the back of Cass's neck while she was leaning against the fence before nudging her ponytail with it's nose.

She understood this to be affectionate and was thankful the mare hadn't taken it upon itself to chew on her hair. Cass reached out slim, delicate fingers and used them to stroke the mare's nose. It shook it's head in dislike before prodding at her pockets for hidden treats.

"I'm sorry." she told it, petting it's neck instead which it seemed to enjoy. "I don't have any treats for you."

The horse snorted as if in disbelief making Cass chuckle out loud. Horses it appeared were much like humans, they were capable of empathy and displaying their emotions. This one appeared to like her even with the lack of treats, it was making low noises and and nuzzling her throat now.

"You are such a friendly horse." Cass clucked to the mare as she smoothed over it's hair with her fingertips. "And very pretty."

"She likes you." Patrick said from behind her.

She turned her head towards John's father as he stepped up beside her, his hands digging into his pockets before he removed a bag of sugar cubes. He took Cass's hand lightly in his older withered one and placed a sugar cube inside it.

"Starbuck here likes sugar cubes." he said patting the horse on the neck as he spoke.

"She has already searched my pockets for treats." Cass informed her father in law as she held out her palm to Starbuck. "I take it someone was a little obsessed with Battlestar Galactica when they decided to name her."

The horse nibbled at the sugar cube, it's lips tickling her skin as it's rough tongue licked the creases of her palm. Cass's nose wrinkled as she tried to suppress the giggle escaping her lips.

"Sharon used to ride her when she took the boys out for treks. She adored this horse as much as she loved those two boys, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of her after Sharon died. She was a huge fan of Battlestar Galactica back in the seventies, she used to watch it with John when he was very young." Patrick revealed, handing her another sugar cube.

"I'm more of a comedy girl as opposed to SciFi but I know John still enjoys it. He's been catching up on the reruns while we've been back on..." Cass stopped herself just in time, she found herself looking away before finishing the sentence. "...back home."

"I've meaning to ask you Cassandra, hows John really doing?" Patrick asked gruffly. "He's a tough kid but I know he puts up a front."

"You have him pegged." Cass told the older man, both hands stroking Starbuck's neck. "I'm not going to lie to you Pat, we almost lost him and the recovery is long and tedious but I would rather go through that with him then feel as helpless as I did when things started to go wrong."

Cass hated remembering that time. It had been dark and dismal, there had been a very thin shred of hope for them both and the outlook had been bleak. It chilled her deep inside to recount how she had almost lost her husband. Even now she would wake up in the dead of night and check that John was still alive and breathing. She understood that this was paranoia at it's best but it set her mind at ease.

"You were there?" Pat said, clearing past the lump in his throat.

"Every inch of the way." Cass assured him. "I couldn't stand the idea of going through that alone and terrified."

"People don't realize how debilitating it is to watch someone you love begin to wither." Pat responded knowingly.

There was silence between the two of them as they watched Starbuck begin to graze nearby. There were so many things that Cass wanted to say but the words just wouldn't come out because she knew that Patrick wouldn't want her sympathy. His concern was for his son now his primary focus and she wanted Patrick to know that he didn't have to worry about John while he was away.

"I want you to know that I would do anything for John. Your son means the world to me." Cass said quietly, laying her cards out on the table.

"When I look at the two of you, I see the way Sharon and me were." Pat told Cass as he shook his head. "I'm glad that he has that but at the same time it frightens me. You don't understand how much it ruins a person to lose someone like that. Sharon's death decimated me, it makes me sick to imagine John in the same position."

"I know how vulnerable it makes us to have what we have but at the same time it makes us stronger. Can you imagine what the world would be like without love? It gives us something to fight for. We have been through so much, we've lost so many people and John makes everything so much easier to endure." Cass found herself explaining her most intimate feelings to her father in law. "In an ideal world the two of us would be living on a beach somewhere but the world is far from perfect and we have to be thankful for what we have."

Cass glanced up, misreading the shocked expression on Patrick's face leading her cheeks to flush with embarrassment as she held up her hands in mock surrender. She hadn't meant to reveal so much about herself. Those were private beliefs, things that she rarely shared but the words had come spilling out of her heart before she'd had time to stop and consider how they may sound to this rational man in front of her.

"I know, I know. I sound like a fortune cookie or a manifestation of the Deli Lama." she said with a shake of her head.

"You sound like you see the bigger picture." Patrick responded, using his hands for empathise.

"Sometimes I do." Cass agreed. "But you can't be human if your completely objective and I am anything but objective when it comes to your son. He's just the most amazing man and he has this ability to make me laugh no matter how dark the day seems."

"Laughter is important in a relationship." Patrick told her earnestly. "And I'm glad John has you in his life to help him through the tough spots."

"It cuts both ways." Cass murmured, her bangs falling across her features as she spoke. "I'm very lucky to have him."

Patrick smiled as he patted the younger woman's hand with his own. This was his daughter in law, a woman he was proud to have integrated into his home.

"Welcome to the family Cassandra. Your going to fit right in here."