The Long Way Home

Chapter Ninety Nine: Regrets

I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

Christina Perri – Jar Of Hearts

The earth was smouldering, the stench of scorched wood and flesh was hanging in the putrid air as John Sheppard stood and surveyed the land. The concrete huts were now ruined hovels smoking from the blasts from the Wraith Darts as they swooped in.

There had been a camp back in Somalia just like this. John would never forget the day he had stepped into that supposed safe haven and seen the momentous nauseating display of what human beings could do to one another. After the rebels had and purged the camp of all of it's supplies, they had raped the woman, slaughtered the men and left the children to die amongst the shattered remains of their parents. They had destroyed everything, the people, the camp, even the land has been desecrated. Yet the way he felt back then was nothing compared to the sickening grief that was eating up his entire form today.

There were barely any of the dead left here in this wretched place and it had murdered a little piece of him deep inside when he had had to study the unique features of every single aged female corpse trying to decipher whether it was his wife or not. She wasn't here and neither were the majority of the people that had lived in this temporary accommodation. It was unusual for the Wraith not to leave a trail of dead in their wake. They usually used a culling in a manner similar to that of a drive through McDonald's, using people as Happy Meals.

The people here had been taken instead, John could only assume as snacks for the Wraith's road trip across the Galaxy. That pissed him off to no end. The Wraith played with their food, they liked to insight terror so they could taste the seasoning of fear as they drained the last of the years right out of you. That could be happening to his wife right now, those clawed, gnarled talons could be raking that pale skin of hers before it fed on her life force.

John couldn't stand the images in his head, flashes of her fright were haunting him back in the Jumper before they had even arrived. Since then there had been nothing, every time his soul sought out hers, pinging over the wavering connection between them it found a strange absence. There wasn't anything on the other end, just simply empty space.

Did that mean that his Cassandra was dead?

John didn't know but he refused to think about it. If she could have found a way to survive she would have, they had located several dead Wraith in various areas of the camp. The people had fought but in the long term it would appear they had been overcome by the superior enemy.

"Found more Wraith dead near the office." Ronon said gruffly as he came to stand along side John. "Looks like it was booby trapped with C4 and a tripwire."

"Sounds like our girls." John uttered, squinting into the bright light as he shook his head at the carnage in front of him. "They would have wanted to take out as many as they could to give them a fighting chance."

A silence fell between the two of them as they stared across the destruction and devastation that littered the land. It was a desolate wasteland compared to what the dream that it had used to be. They had created a shelter for these people and a home, then it had been torn up and gouged by the Wraith.

God, Cassie I should never have let you come here. He thought raking his fingers through his untidy brown hair.

"Don't." Ronon's voice cut through John's thoughts like a knife, severing all the vile images that were patrolling through his brain. "The more you think about it the more it'll drive you crazy."

"I can't feel her." John admitted, his voice rough with emotion as he turned his head away. "I'm so used to being with her and now there's nothing."

"Doesn't mean she's gone." Ronon stated bluntly.

"No it doesn't." John agreed against the painful twisting of his heart before casting a glance at his friend. "It doesn't mean Hope's gone either."

Every single muscle in Ronon's body tightened at the implication. He was trying desperately not to allow himself to think of what this culling could mean. He couldn't afford to lose anyone else the way he had Melena, especially not Hope. He didn't think he'd survive if something happened to her. The animal inside of him was frantic and roaring with fury. They had come onto his territory while he was away and stolen his mate, the possessive enraged side of him wanted nothing more than to tear the Wraith bastards to pieces until they handed her over. She had better be untouched when he found her otherwise he was bringing down that fucking Hive himself.

The growl of indignation left his throat compulsively and John found himself agreeing with the very notion. The Wraith shouldn't have even realized this camp was here, he wondered what had led them to this space and then considered the fact that Drew Hartford was still mysteriously MIA. The other man would know better than to deal with the Wraith, they had been briefed before they had set up the camp on the dangerous species. Yet it would make sense, if Hartford had given them the location of the camp to spare himself if he'd run into trouble during his illegal dealings. That was the only way that someone would give up this location.

There were plenty of reasons to attack the camp when he thought about it more in depth. It was a plentiful food source, also a way to send a message to those on other worlds who may have considered opposing the Wraith but information could also be another thing to toss into the equation. They could glean details of Earth from the minds of the Aid Workers who had lived there, maybe not it's exact location but they may be able to out together a way of getting there and if they had someone even more predominant maybe they could even find a way to attack Atlantis.

Cassie...

The more John continued to think the more sense it began to make. The Wraith had captured live subjects instead of simply feeding on the ground as usual. The people who couldn't tell them anything would be stored as food but the people who could...

He couldn't imagine them giving anything away willingly. Suddenly his wife's fate became a lot darker that he ever could have anticipated. Torture was nothing to a Wraith, they drank in terror and sorrow like a fine wine, guzzling it down until the next round. There would be no mercy from them, no reprieves. John himself had been captured so many times it was hard to count but he was lucky enough to escape and that was through a mixture of skill, stubbornness and pure fortune. Cass and the others lacked the tools that he had, he didn't see how they could stand a chance.

"We need to get back to Atlantis." John said, his voice eerily devoid of emotion.

"You got a plan?" Ronon asked gruffly, arching an eyebrow at Sheppard's sudden change in demeanour.

"I got Rodney to place a transmitter in Cass's dogtags." John told the other man as they hurried over to the Stargate, where McKay was working on the DHD. "If he can fiddle with the long range sensors, he may be able to track the Hive and discover their current location."

His paranoia may have been a saving grace after all.