When It Hurts So Bad

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Jacob




What was that about? I was slowly getting to the point where I didn't want anything to do with Morgan. She comes back here expecting me not to believe somethings up with her & Mario. Yeah right. It was sad to see how something so simple in my eyes tore us apart. Honestly I was oblivious to Alix's affection towards me. Thats where everything started to go downhill. The guys looked to me while I stood quiet in the kitchen as everyone ate.

"Jacob." Quees called. I looked over my shoulder to acknowledge him. He shook his head and walked over to me.

"Wassgud fam?" I asked dully. Their heads turned to me and I felt Craig push me down to the stool at the island.

"Ever since Morgan left, you been looking like a sad ass puppy. What's wrong man?" I shook my head and continued to look down at the table.

"Not at all, I just got a bit on my mind."

"She found out about ole girl." Chresanto chimed in. It instantly took me back to what Morgan said up in the room earlier. I wasn't with Lindsay. Truth be told she doesn't feel comfortable. We're just good friends.

"Its nothing going on with me and Lindsay. We're just friends...told y'all she don't wanna mess with me because I'm married still."

"Good, cause you don't wanna mess with her either." my head shot over to Jacquees.

"The hell that supposed to mean? I'm done with Morgan. She said she done with me, I'm done with her." I pointed to myself and got up to get a beer.

"Of course you're only saying that because you're not. You still love her to death man." Issa came and patted my shoulder.

"I never said I didn't. Y'all just don't understand. This marriage is falling apart and we both fail to realize it."

"No nigga, y'all realize it but y'all too much alike to admit that you're wrong." Rayan looked to me from across the room. I was really letting my boys school me on my own marriage. But what they were saying was beyond true.

"What am I supposed to do? Her birthday is tomorrow and I'm pretty damn sure she don't wanna see me." I laughed.

"Well too bad because whatever she decides on, you're going. And we all are." Before I knew it Ray and all the guys were dapping me up and leaving the house.

I began to search for the little ones and found them all in Kaleb's room watching a movie with each other. Instantly I smiled and managed to sneak a picture of them. Finding Nemo played on the television while they laid together. I closed the door lightly walking down to my room. These past couple of months have been tough being in here by myself. Morgan's large portrait hung on the wall just above our bed. I would stare at it almost everyday. I couldn't begin to describe how much I missed her. I started to regret the things that came out of my mouth earlier. She & this family mean everything to me.

I made my way to the shower and spent a good 30 minutes taking care of my hygiene. By the time I was finished, Lindsay sent me a message to say that she was going to stop by. I was fine with it and responded to her. Soon after the doorbell rung and I was making my way downstairs.

"Sup Lindsay?" I smiled watching her remove her sunglasses.

"Hi Jacob, how are you?" she gave off a warm smile before we moved inside. I reached for her hand and led her to the entertainment room.

"I wanna talk to you..."

"About what?" she adjusted herself as we took a seat. Being that I didn't quite know how to explain how I felt, I could only hope she got the memo.

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