I'm Yours (On Hold)

Chapter 14

Sherlock

I don't know how long I sat there in Lestrade's arms, crying but we eventually moved into the waiting room. I stood up, and began pacing around, too nervous to sit still. Waiting for news was always the worse especially in a case like this. I had no idea if he was alive again or when they were saying he was officially dead. John was the most important person to me. He was kind and caring. He was always there when I needed him and sometimes even when I didn't.

When I refused to see him he would wait and try to help in whatever ways he could. He had always believed in me, even when no one else did. I loved him too much and now I knew how he had felt when I jumped two years ago. It was the worst possible feeling, losing someone you love.

"Stop pacing brother, you're making me nervous." Mycroft muttered and I sighed as I sat down, running my hands through my hair. I bounced my leg up and down in anticipation, biting my lip and hoping that they would come soon because the longer they took to come give news, the smaller the chance of him waking up.

"He'll be fine Sherlock. You'll see." Lestrade whispered. I nodded even though I wasn't so sure about it but I smiled sadly and quietly thanked him. He jumped back in surprise by my gratefulness and despite the situation, I couldn't help but chuckle. Light filled the room as the door slightly creaked, opening to reveal a nurse. My smile fell as I studied her, hoping against hope that my deductions were wrong.

Please don't say what I think you're going to say. Please tell me that for once my deductions are wrong. "Mr. Sherlock Holmes?" she asked sadly. I felt my heart breaking again, tears filling my eyes, but I refused to cry unless she told me he was dead. Shaking my head, I slowly got up.

"What is it? Is he alright?" I asked quickly, despite knowing that I was right and he was gone. My deductions were hardly ever wrong. She sighed slowly and shook her head.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. I stepped back, tears falling from my eyes. No it can't be. I pushed her out of the way and quickly made my way to his hospital room. The doctor who kicked me out, was slowly shutting the door. He looked up at me with a sad expression.

"We tried everything we could." he said and I pushed into the room to find the machines unplugged and ran over to his side. I grabbed his pale, cold, lifeless hand and sank to my knees, tears falling until I couldn't see. I didn't try to hold back my sobs as I stared at the floor, still holding his hand. I gasped, trying to breathe but I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.

"I'm so sorry John. I know you say you were glad you ran into Mike but I wish you hadn't. If you hadn't run into him that day, you wouldn't be... you wouldn't be... here now, lying dead in a hospital. I am so sorry." I choked out. I couldn't believe that this bright little ray of sunshine had been snuffed out. I tried everything in my willpower to prevent this from happening but it appears it didn't matter because he died anyway.

Why did this have to happen? You didn't deserve this. I breathed in deeply, finally managing to catch a breath. I felt something hit my shoulder and I looked up to find Lestrade looking at John, hand covering his mouth. Mycroft wrapped him in a hug and if I wasn't as upset as I was, I would have laughed at this because Mycroft was showing affection. I smiled sadly, glad that they were happy and that something good did come out of my 'death'.

"Come, Gregory, we should give him some space so he could say his goodbyes." Mycroft whispered and Lestrade nodded slowly. Guiding Lestrade out, he looked back, a look of sympathy on his face. "I'm sorry." he said quietly before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

I took a shaky breath as I stood up. I gazed down at the man who, even in death, looked perfect. "I'm so sorry for getting you killed." I whispered as I leaned down, planting a kiss on his forehead. I felt so guilty about it and I turned to leave. I couldn't look at him any longer or I'd break down again.

A faint rustling made it's way to my ears as I was heading to the door and I froze, slowly turning to face John, lying in the bed. He couldn't be... could he. I walked forward slowly, head slightly tilted, strainging to hear another noise. I watched carefully but nothing happened. I sighed, believing that I had just imagined it but then there was another rustling sound.

I made my way over to the chair and sat down, not daring to hope that he was fine. I didn't want to get my hopes up but I couldn't help it. I stared at him curiously, grabbing his hand. Frowning when I did so. It was still cold. I looked down and sighed, I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up. I took another shaky breath, holding back the tears. Then something twitched against my hand.

Body part's did that right? Some shortly after death, twitch. I watched again, waiting to see another sign of him being alive. His hand twitched again and tightened around mine. Gasping as his eyes shot open. "Sh... sherlock?" he asked.

"I'm here. Omg." I fumbled for the button next to his bed and smiled widely as the nurses rushed in.

"He... he's alive." one of them exclaimed and I nodded because I knew if I opened my mouth I would laugh in delight. "You need to leave for a bit but he should be fine." the nurse said, ushering me out of the room. I stood in the hallway, surprised about what had just happened.

Lestrade stood in the hallway, still wrapped in Mycroft's arms. I practically skipped over to him, barely containing my smile. Mycroft looked confused for a second before a look of understanding dawned on his features. He pulled away from Lestrade, making an excuse about needing the bathroom. Lestrade slowly turned towards me, slightly taken aback by my smile.

"Why are you smiling? John just died." he asked confused and I rolled my eyes before pulling him into a hug.

"He woke up. Lestrade, he woke up." I said, crying slightly. He pulled away, looking into my eyes, searching to see if I was lying before pumping a fist into the air and smiling.

"Yes!" he yelled, then quickly quieted down because he realized we were still in a hospital. I thought I had lost him and I was terrified but everything was better now. Everything was going to be so much better. I sighed contentedly, sitting down and waiting until they let me back into the room.