Vengeance Of Love (Camren) (G!P)

Chapter 13.

Lauren's POV

Deep down in my heart, I know that whatever I attempted to do in that bathroom today will never be justified or forgotten. I was selfish to think that ending my life would be better for me, but I failed to recognize that I'd be hurting everyone I loved. I look back at myself laying on that dirty, old floor and it hurts to think I was weak enough to want to give up my fight. It was the thought of knowing I would suffer and go through all that pain at school because of who I was, but nothing amounted to the pain I felt in that bathroom.

It was partially physical but emotionally, I was unable to feel love, hope, or anything else besides self-infliction. That melancholy mood hung over me like a black cloud, raining my sorrow down on me. I've never felt so much regret my entire life, and I thank God I was given a second opportunity to make things right again.

I wonder if things will change at school, and part of me doesn't want to lose hope, but part of me can't help but think realistically. Will they call me a coward? Will they wish upon my death? Will they want me to attempt suicide again? I don't know.

I just hope they begin to realize that I'm also a person, and whatever fight I'm going through shouldn't represent my thoughts, my dreams, and the person I am overall. Even now as I sit on this hospital bed, I feel this heartache like an insatiable fire that burns oxygen, leaving me almost listless and empty.

"Lauren?" A girl's soft voice echoes from across the hospital room. I immediately look up from the IV inserted into my vein and sit up all the way when I recognize the voice as Camila's. The boxer awkwardly shifts on one foot, eyes adverting towards the IV bag and oxygen face mask on my nose.

"You can come in," I swallow away the painful throbbing inside my throat, realizing I hadn't had anything to drink. I'm surprised to hear my own voice, sounding so weak and almost lifeless in a way. I choose to push all thoughts away when Camila approaches, gripping the edge of the bed with white knuckles.

"What did the doctor say?" Camila's question comes quick, unexpected. The sound of her voice after waking up is a blessing almost, knowing she had indeed given up on making my life a living hell. I sigh softly and truthfully respond,

"I told her I didn't want to know what was wrong with me," I clear my throat, removing the mask from my nose when I realize the small cup inside had run out of the clear liquid. I run a hand through my sweaty hair and sigh, "She'll tell my dads when they arrive,"

"It's been an hour," Camila whispers, confused to why they hadn't shown up yet.

"They work all the time," I look down at the hospital gown I'm wearing, knowing that the clothes I wore to school were most probably covered in my own vomit. I look up to meet her brown eyes and find that they looked darker than usual, even a bit hooded as if she were tired. "They're coming from Tampa from this business meeting, I have to wait for them for two more hours. They didn't even get to see me this morning because they got a call at the last minute..."

"Oh," Is all she responds.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this makes her very uncomfortable, but at that very moment, she decided to stay silent. It wasn't an awkward silence at all though, it was almost as if she were remembering what had happened a few hours ago and I didn't blame her. I didn't want her to blame herself, because it really wasn't her fault. I just needed her to understand I had enough of whatever hate she still had left in her.

"Lauren...I really wanted to--"

"Don't apologize," I quickly cut her off, my lips curling into a small grin when she grows frustrated with my response. I can tell she wants to, and it's very genuine of her but this isn't her fault. Camila's eyebrows furrow deeply when I lock eyes with her, not knowing how to convince the stubborn boxer than this was indeed not anything she did. "You'd be surprised to hear that it isn't your fault this time, it had nothing to do with you, Camila."