It's Complicated (Troyler)

You Promised

*Tyler's POV*

And that's exactly what I got, a few more hours with Troye. Though after spending the day kissing, cuddling, spoiling, and just genuinely loving him it made what I had to do even harder. Even when we were kissing there was a darkness looming over us. Doomed. What we're doing right now is doomed to end badly.

So when the time rolled around when only had an hour left until Troye's flight you can imagine how hectic my thoughts had gotten. I was considering everything, like there was some way out of this I hadn't thought of.

"Tilly." Troye whispered, nuzzling into the curve of my neck like he belonged there, which he did.

"Yes, babe?"

"We, uh, we need to talk." Is he breaking up with me? Good, that saves me from having to- Wait... He doesn't love me? 

"About?"

"This." He said, gesturing between us like that was supposed to make it all clear to me. I took a deep breath, here it comes the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. Why was I so upset? I was about to do the exact same thing to him.

"Tyler, I know you know this already, but I really like you. Like, really like you. Hell, who am I kidding, I'm in love with you Tyler Oakley. This past week has been the best time of my life, but..." I knew there was a 'but' coming. Just spit it out Troye, tear my heart out without remorse, I was going to do the same to you.

"I need to know where we stand before I go back to Australia. Do you have feelings for me? Feelings similar to mine. Heck, are we dating or not? I am sick and tired of not knowing where I stand with you, I've worn my heart on my sleeve this entire time but you're so withdrawn and private. I need to know right now, do you love me back? Yes or no?" Oh no, that's not what you were supposed to say, Troye! If anything you've just made this a thousand times harder on me. Of course I freaking love you, you just can't know that.

"I-" I stopped, taking a deep breath and tried to steady my breaking heart's beats.

"Ty?" He laughed, giving me a peck on the cheek encouragingly and beaming his beautiful smile in my direction. Oh, how I'd miss that smile. I felt a tear on my cheek but couldn't be bothered it wipe it away. He deserved to know this hurt me just as much as it was going to hurt him.

"No." He blinked, staring at me like I'd just chanted satanic mumbo-jumbo. His facial expressions changed so fast I couldn't even catch them all. A nervous smile and chuckle, a horrified zombie-like stance, twisting up in pain, and then there was just pure anger. I'd never seen Troye's facial features bent up with rage, it was both terrifying and heartbreaking. My poor baby, Troye, oh no, what have I done?

"What do you fucking mean no? All you've been doing the past week is hinting at it and finding every way to confess without actually having to. You told Sawyer and Joey we were dating for fuck's sake, was that some sort of joke to you? Did you think it was funny to string me along like that?" How was I supposed to react to that? Of course I didn't find it funny, I absolutely hated myself for what I was doing to him. But if I was honest with him there was no way he'd accept what he was saying. He'd beg and plead until he managed to convince me to change my mind. And, as wonderful as that sounded right now, that would leave me more or less motherless.

"Huh? Answer me!" He roared, jumping off the couch to loom over me angrily. I buried my face in my knees and tried desperately to think of anything I could say to keep from hurting him any further. I have to be a dick, I can't keep trying to make things easier on him. As much as I hate to say it, he needs me to be cold right now. If I'm nice it will only give him false hope. I took a deep breath to steady myself for what I was about to do, I just have to get five words out with a straight face, I can do that.