Connected [Luke Hemmings]

• Chapter 32 •

• Chapter 32 •

Renn

Dear Renn,

God I'm sorry. I am so so fucking sorry. I know none of that cuts it but you need to understand that I need you. What I did was a mistake, I admit it. But Babe I'd do anything to get you back.

I did it because I was lonely. Yes, I almost had sex with some girl who I don't recall the name of, because I was lonely. I love you, and I did at the moment when it happened. I convinced myself that it wouldn't go too far, but it did. Look, my reason is stupid, but at least it isn't made up right?

You hate me. That's understandable. I've disappointed you, the person who means the most to me. Your opinion means the world to me, if you like it, I don't care what the world thinks. Michael beat me up pretty bad huh? But that's because he's the best friend you could ever ask for. He loves you Renn, I mean he beat me up for you.

I miss you. I missed you the day you came, the days before, and now. My heart aches without you, and I feel like half of me is gone. My performances are shit, no shit looks better than my performances. It's the small things that I miss, like the feeling of your soft skin on my lips. I miss the scent of your hair, the mesmerising colour of your eyes, your laugh, your smile. The way you wrap your arms around me. The way you say 'I love you.' I miss the feeling of knowing I'm the one you love, and the one that's always on your mind.

I need you Florence. I need your love, your care, your support. And if you could ever forgive me, I would return the things you give me. I would love you, care for you and support you through anything and everything. I mean look how far we've gone?

You're my sweet escape Renn, please come back to me.

- Luke Hemmings x

I'm in Bianca's unit to grab my computer back while she's at school. She's taking a big exam and I need my laptop for work. But instead I find a note addressed to me from Luke, hidden in one of her textbooks. Why did I look in her textbooks? Because it was falling out.

I take the note, and my laptop and walk over to her front door, and out of her building. We live in across the street from each other, and her apartment building is very similar to Jana and mine.

*****

My hands are curled into fists as Bianca attempts to defend herself. I'm furious and confused.

She has no right to keep the letter from me. It was addressed to me not her. Especially when it's from Luke? I mean she knows how much I love him! Did she not realise that she was supposed to pass it on to me?

Why would Bianca keep it from me? Is she envious? What on earth possessed her to say 'to protect me'? She isn't protecting me, she's hurting me more than ever. Friends are supposed to be honest with each other.

"No Bi! Why?!" I yell.
"To protect your ass! You're so caught up with him, and he isn't good for you. Do you not remember what shit he put you through?!" Bianca fires back.
"You learn to forgive and forget! Something that you'll never know. Bianca I love him! You tricked me into thinking he's moved on!"

Ever since I talked to Alistair, I've decided to try and find a way to forgive Luke. But I need to make him realise that what he did is the last straw. He doesn't get any other chances if he messes up again. Neither do I.

"Because he probably has! Renn he's playing for thousands of girls nearly every night. So every night he gets a pick. Imagine that," says Bianca.
"He isn't like that! You don't know him the way I do!" I yell.
"The way you do? You've spent the years with him hating him, and cursing him out. What do you know about him?!"
"He's not what you think! Yeah he's got heaps of imperfections, but that's what makes him perfect for me."
"Geez Renn, do you hear yourself?! You think Luke Hemmings, the guy that has done an infinite number of insults, pranks and stupid things to you, is perfect?! Yeah, and Channing Tatum isn't hot."