Connected [Luke Hemmings]

• Chapter 33 •

Nearly the end :-) but I think I'm skipping the whole sequel thing :( ! More info later

• Chapter 33 •

Luke

Do you ever wonder who would cry at your funeral? Who would miss you the most, who would even go? Or do you think that they won't even put a funeral up for you, you'd just be buried.

I think about life like that. As if a funeral. Who do I affect the most, both positively and negatively. Who would mean so much to me, to speak so highly of me. Who comes through in my life, and stays until the end. And who'd want to bury me, not for peace. But they'd bury me to make me feel defeated.

Will people remember me for someone who was great? Or was a coward? Would they remember the little things like how I like my steak, or what I put in burgers, how much tomato sauce I want on my hotdog. Or would they only remember the vague things like how I'm blonde and I have blue eyes. I'm the tallest in the band, and the youngest.

I've been awake since 11 am this morning. It's been 6 hours and I'm trying to find the right words to tell Renn that I can't bear to be without her anymore.

The North American tour is over next week. We play our last show in Miami soon, and I'm super nervous, but I'm not nervous about the show.

I grab onto the pen that the nurse provided me with, and I begin to write. I hate letters.

Dear Renn,

I'm not those types of guys that count the days that them and the girl have been apart. In fact, I didn't pay attention.

I was more upset over the fact that I had lost every chance with you, because I was lonely. Like what the hell was I thinking? Call me stupid, but I want to leave. Not only this city, not this country, not this continent but this world. I don't mean I want to live on Mars, I just mean I want to die.

Usually, the thought of death caused goosebumps allover me, and I'd occasionally cry because of how scary it must be to be dead. Your time is over, and your soul is floating around in who-knows-where. You're done, you're no longer existing.

My life consisted of three things: music, friends & family, and you. Music was always part of me, and I felt a stronger connection whenever I was playing or singing. It was an escape, from all the crazy things happening around me. My friends were always there for me, as I hope they would say I did/do the same. My family was my biggest inspiration, to do anything. They supported me through everything, and still do. I put you in a separate category because that's how much you've impacted my life. You're not music, but you're an escape. You're not a friend, in fact more. You aren't family, but I consider you to be. And let's face it, you aren't you without me.

It's hard to leave when I love you so much...

"Where?" I hear a voice. It's a familiar voice, but I can't tell who.

"Calm down," I hear another familiar voice. No, it can't be... can it?

The door opens to reveal the most beautiful, most breath-taking face I've ever seen. And it belongs to Florence Knight.

"Luke! Oh my God you're awake," she says, running to my bed and hugging my waist.

I don't move, speak or even start to breathe faster, my heartbeat doesn't go any faster.

"Luke, I'm so sorry, please. Please don't be like this," says Renn. Her deep green eyes stare right into mine as they search for something. It could be anything.

"Don't tell me you don't remember me," she says, once seriously. A tear rolls down my face. Of course I remember you Love, I just don't know what to say.