The Fat Girl's Journey To Happiness (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 32

Ashley's POV

I was having a hard time concealing my feelings since I saw Kevin and Jen together. It was difficult to pretend that you don't care when in fact all I want was to asked him what's the real score between them.

I'm angry at my self because I cannot gather enough strength and face the problem or the non existing one, he's been going home late this past month and that added fuel to the stress that I have been going through. Not having enough sleep and appetite for food in weeks was taking it's toll on me.

I woke up feeling nauseous and my head pounding. I rush to the bathroom and empty all the contents of my stomach until all that's left to vomit was bile . After hugging the toilet bowl for almost an hour dry heaving my stomach finally gave up and decided that it had enough.

The following mornings was the same waking up with a heavy feeling and going to work after endless of hours spent throwing up.

My skin becomes pale, I look like a panda with the dark circles surrounding my eyes. Even dressing up for work was a big task for me feeling frail and weak. I think I need a break but cannot let down the company and my clients just because I want to drown my self in pity.

"Are you all right Miss Simpson?" Mrs. Miller my assistant asked worriedly.

"I'm not feeling very well, I know I look like crap maybe I need a break." I told her leaning helplessly on the door frame.

"What are you really feeling love, maybe I can help." She asked walking in front of me and reach for my hand.

"I have been nauseous for weeks and my head was founding, I feel so weak that all I want to do was sleep all day in my lovely bed." I told her appreciating the motherly concern evident in her eyes.

"Forgive me for my next question but have you had your monthly period yet?" She asked and I instantly search my brain and tried to remember when was the last time I had it.

"Oh my, it's been 2 months since my last!" I told her, nervousness creeping out of my soul. I'm not taking any birth control and Kevin's not using any protection.

"I suppose you take a test first before seeing a doctor just to be sure." She said giving me a reasonable advice.

"Okay I'll do it on my break." I confirmed anxiously.

"Don't worry love it will be all right. A child is a gift from the heavens so be thankful, okay." She said and squeezes my hand before returning to her seat.

There is a huge possibility that I am pregnant, I don't know if I am ready or not for this new chapter of my life but I need to face this eventually. As I think about my situation I can feel fear crawling slowly inside my head.

Anticipation was killing me I have been watching the hands of the wall clock drag slowly until it reaches twelve o'clock. That was my cue to leave hurriedly and drive to the nearest pharmacy to buy three pregnancy test. I know I only need one test but that will not satisfy my troubled mind, even food was not appealing to me at the moment.

I drove back to the firm and walk straight to my office. Luckily the restroom was just two doors down, I lock it and with shaking hands hastily open the boxes of test, peed on it and impatiently wait for the results to come out.

I was tapping my foot on the tiled floor when I notice the red lines appearing on the tubes. I pick it all up and there staring at me was the offending pregnancy tests telling me that I should prepare my self and get ready because I was going to be a mother in less than nine months.

I don't know what I should feel, my other hand instantly went to my stomach and caress the lower part where I know my baby was growing. I feel mix emotions, I am elated that there is a life being created inside of me and it share a part of me as much as a part of him but at the same time I am scared I'm not sure if this is the right time to be pregnant when everything seems blurred and uncertain in our relationship.

I put the test inside the secret pocket of my shoulder bag and walk back to my office. I decided to see a doctor as soon as possible to know how far I am. I entered my office and saw Billy standing near the window looking at the view outside. I cleared my throat and he face me smiling brightly he walk to my direction and engulf me in a tight hug which I return weakly.

"Billy what are you doing here?" I asked surprised.

"Well hello beautiful! I have a meeting near your office so I decided to drop by because I missed you." He hugs me again tenderly and kiss my forehead, he looked into my face and frown .

"Are you all right? You don't look good, are you sick?" He asked worriedly putting the back of his hand on my forehead feeling my temperature.

"I'm hungry, have you had lunch yet?" I stir away the topic, I'm not ready to talk about my condition to anyone.

"Well I was here to asked you that but you beat me to it, so If you are ready then we can go." He said scratching the back of his head.

"Okay, let's go I'm starve."

Lunch was uneventful, I feel like I'm floating in the air my mind was uncooperative at the moment. I decided to call in sick after lunch. Billy insisted to drove me back to the house.

"Thanks for lunch, I really need some company now." I told him when I exit his car.

"No worries, whatever it is that is bothering you I know you can overcome and remember I am always here when your ready to talk about it." He envelop me in his arms. I close my eyes and savor the feeling of his arms around me, his embrace never fail to calm me. He walk me to my door step before he run to his car. I watch him drove away until his car was out of sight.

I used my free time to set a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Kevin texted me that he will come home late tonight. I guest I'll eat take out for dinner alone again.