"How're you feeling?" The doctor asks shining a flashlight across my eyes. "Okay." I reply as he turns off the light.
"Feeling nervous?"
My stomach feels queasy and my heart is beating loudly against my chest. There's sweat forming under my arms on and my forehead.
"No." I lie hoping that I at least sounded convincing.
"Okay well your mom can help you change. Okay? Everything will be fine. I'll see you in a few minutes."
He walks away leaving my mom and I alone. She's got a worried expression on her face. "Its going to be okay mom. Is dad in the waiting room?"
She nods her head and grabs a white gown. As she's helping me put it on she avoids eye contact with me.
It must be because she wants to cry and if she looks at me she will. She always does this when she avoids looking at me.
"It'll be okay mom." I whisper. She gets the courage to look at me, her eyes brimming with tears. "I know honey ... I know."
Does she believe it though?
After she gets me dressed the doctor walks in. "Everything okay?" He asks. My mom and I nod our heads at the same time.
"Ma'am. A word with you please." My mom kisses me on the cheek before walking out. She whispers a "be right back" before walking out.
I stay still on my wheelchair. Gripping it tightly. I told myself I wasn't scared, but now that I'm minutes away from surgery I'm more than scared. I'm petrified.
There's a knot forming in my throat and my eyes are stinging with tears threatening to spill any second.
"April Jeanette."
I look up and see Dean Ambrose standing by my door. "Close the door." I say and he obediently walks in and closes the door behind.
"How're you doing?"
There's something off about his voice. He's not smiling or joking around like usual. It must be because he could be talking to an almost dead girl.
"Terrible."
"Well at least you didn't lie."
He's looking down at me. I can't tell if he's feeling pity or not. He looks sad though. "Everything will turn out great I'm sure." He says with a sympathetic smile.
"I hope so."
He pulls out a small thin bracelet from his pocket. "I got you this. For good luck." He grabs the thin black bracelet and ties it on my wrist.
"Thank you." I whisper looking at it. It looks so thin it could break and ironically it makes me feel stronger.
"Thank you for remembering me." I add as he lets go of my wrist. "I'll never forget about my bff."
"Never?"
"Never." He reassures me with a small smile.
"Can you help me up?"
He looks at me undecided. "Please." I say hoping he will. He nods his head slowly and grabs me to help me up.
His arms are wrapped around my waist holding me up. He's leaning down to my height in order to do so.
My knees feel weaker than ever now that I'm in his arms. Up close he's more beautiful than I thought.
There's galaxies in his eyes bringing life to my blue life. We're just looking at each other and it's so comforting.
Just me being close to him is comforting. I lay my head on his chest the sadness returning to me.
My chest is tightening again as I hear his beating heart against my ear. "It'll be okay, Aj." He coos.
I want to believe him. I really do, but everything is telling me otherwise. "Why do you want to be my friend even though I'm blue?"
"Really? You're blue? Are you a smurf?"
"I'm serious, Dean."
He chuckles lightly. "I want to be your friend because you're a sweet girl. You're so nice and who wouldn't want to be friends with an amazing girl like you?"
"Will do you me a favor?"
"Sure anything for you, April Jeanette."
I pull away from his chest and look up at him. "Kiss me." I whisper softly. "Please just kiss me."
He looks at me both confused and surprised. "What?"
"Can you please kiss me?" I ask tears pouring from my eyes. "Aj ..." his voice trails off and he wipes my tears with one of his hands.
"Just do me that favor. I've been kissed several times, but I want to be kissed by you. Oh gosh, I want nothing more than to be kissed by you. I might die in a couple of hours can you just please do me that favor?"
He's looking at me with no expression. Its hard to read what he's thinking about. Tears are still spilling from my eyes.
Then he nods his head. He slowly wipes my tears again and leans down to where he's centimeters away from my face.
I can smell his minty warm breath. Our eyes are focused on each other's. He closes his eyes and presses his lips against mine.
I close my eyes after he does feeling his soft tender lips. He slowly opens his mouth wrapping his mouth on mine.
My heart starts fluttering at his touch. He kisses me so delicately and so softly like he's going to break me.
It's so tenderly, filled with so much kindness and affection it makes every part of me melt. He pulls away and a pink blush starts creeping on my cheeks.
Without saying anything he leans down and kisses me again. This time a little harder and a bit messy, but still beautiful in its own way.
He kisses me so hard that I don't think I'll ever be able to get his taste out of my lips.
"Thank you." I whisper when he pulls away. He simply pulls me in for another hug and rests his head on mine.
"Thank you." I repeat my heart swelling. He only tightens his grip around me and that's when I finally realize it.
I finally realize that I'm so sick and tired of being so alone.
