Every Bad Thing

Chapter Forty-Four

My heart was thrumming like crazy. Imaginary bullet of cold sweats were forming on both side of my temples. I feel cold all over, too. Like I've bathed in a tub filled with tubes of ice and cold water.

Bilang lang sa daliri ang pagkakataon na pumunta ako sa office. I'm usually being asked to report because of gate and a few minor offenses. Ilang suspension at community service na ang natamo ko.

But what did I do this time though?

I haven't partied or made a scandal for months now. I've been clean for this semester. Kahit gate offense ay wala akong nakuha. Kaya bakit ganito? What is it now? Why do every time I'll try to fix myself, the whole world will conspire against me and prove that I'm not fixable?

My heart almost escaped my chest the moment I stepped in the consultation room. Sa kanya agad tumama ang mga mata ko. My ex-fling. Prof. Seth Juarez. Fuck.

I saw worry in his eyes as he looked at me. I remained frozen in front of the door way. Ramdam ko sa likod ko ang assistant dean, hindi makapasok sa loob dahil hinaharangan ko ang daan.

"Ms. Serrano, please sit down." the Dean, Dr. Tomas, said in a clipped voice. She's obviously not amused.

I gulped hard and controlled the shaking of my knees to follow her order and sit down on the chair opposite to Seth's. I don't think I've ever wished this hard for the land to open and swallow me whole.

"Based on your reaction upon seeing Mr. Juarez, I'm assuming you know why I called you." Dr. Tomas sternly said. Hindi ako nakasagot. Tanging paglunok lang ang nagawa ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. She was staring at me with her piercing and criticizing eyes. "Tinawagan ko na ang parents mo. They're almost here."

What am I supposed to say? Nanlalamig pa rin ang buong katawan ko. I feel like the blood is leaving my head and I'm running out of breath. I'm gonna pass out any time now.

"Habang naghihintay, tatanungin na kita. What's your relationship with Mr. Juarez?" matabang na tanong ni Dr. Tomas.

I inhaled sharply. My whole body stiffened. Her eyes were icy and sharp as it bore down on me but I couldn't look away. I didn't respond. My own voice failed me.

"Maybe you need to see this, this might help you give a good answer." dinampot ni Dr. Tomas ang phone mula sa round table at inilapag sa harapan ko.

Kung kanina ay nanlalamig na ako, ngayon ay namutla ako sa nakita. It's a Facebook post with a photo of me and Seth. We were posed in a way that a student and a professor shouldn't be.

In the photo, we we're very intimate. Siya ang nasa harap ng camera habang nasa likod niya ako. I was holding his chin, turning it away from the camera so he could face me over his shoulder. His eyes were on the phone and he's sporting a charming smile. I was kissing him near his lip with my eyes closed.

Napapikit din ako sa nakita. Fuck.

You can't deny that there's something between us. Halos mahalikan ko na siya d'yan, kaya paano ako tatanggi? And I can clearly remember how the kiss happened for real after that photo. I can't deny that it's not me, too. Kitang-kita na ako iyon. At mas lalong kita na si Seth nga iyon.

The question now is... How? Paano na-upload sa Facebook ang private photo na iyon? How did the school find out? Did Seth post it? Imposible. Why would he? Masisira ang reputation and credibility niya as a professor, kaya bakit naman? At kung siya nga, bakit ngayon lang diba?

And it's not his type. Dating him for a few months, Seth is a really nice person. He's a freaking catch, if not for our forbidden student-teacher relationship.