Adopted by Kian Lawley

Chapter 18

**a month later**

"Miss Lawley, pay attention!" I barely heard my evil teacher, Mr. Grant, scream.

I've been having awful flashbacks of when I was at 'my house' before I blacked out.

Right now I was remembering when I slammed my head against the bathroom wall and my head spurted out blood everywhere and I layed in a pool of blood and tears.

I cringed at the memory and when I came back to reality, Mr. Grant was just staring at me, in front of my desk. All eyes were on me.

"What. Are. You. Doing?!" He screeched.

I winced at his volume.

"Uh. I'm not feeling well. Can I go to the nurse?" I pleaded.

He gave me a stern look, but let me go.

I grabbed my books and went to the nurse.

I've been doing this frequently. I just can't forget what happened before.

I don't cut anymore, which makes me happy. Even though when I cut, it gave me loads of relief, it feels better not to cut.

"Hi, Mrs. Werner," I said slowly.

"Again, sweetheart?" She asked concerned. She is so nice and cares so much about me.

"Yeah. It was the one where I was in the pool of blood again," I said and sighed.

I tell her everything. She is like my psychologist too. She helps me through it all.

"You've been having that one a lot lately sweetie.." She replied and sighed along with me then came over and gave me a long hug.

"I know. And the one where I visited hell..." I said and shuddered at that memory.

I've seen that one a bunch of times.

~

I was in the coma and it was before I saw heaven and God. It went from my normally blackness to an even darker blackness if that's possible. I was standing on a huge rock with lava surrounding me and it was pitch black except for the lava. My feet moved me along the rock until I got to a throne, completely different than God's throne. It had the word Satan sprawled on its front. As I got closer I saw a familiar looking man. As I got even closer, I recognized exactly who he was. My father. I had no clue why or how my father was Satan because he was so nice to me when he was alive. He stood from his throne and walked towards me. His eyes were not his usual brown, but a deep red. And his teeth were pointy. He looked like a vampire, but a lot scarier. He got to me and looked me straight in the eye and he told me he never loved me and that he didn't want me here. So he grabbed me by the throat and tossed me into the lava and it turned black again.

I realized now that when he said he didn't want me there, he meant he didn't want me to die because then I would have to join him. I still don't get why he was Satan though.

I didn't realize until after the memory stopped that I was balling my eyes out and Mrs. Werner was shaking me and yelling my name.

I just looked at her and cried more. She gave me a big hug which made me feel a little bit better, but not enough.

I still felt broken inside.

You probably think this is so stupid...that I cry over little dreams in my head that didn't actually happen in real life.

The reason I get so emotional about the dream about my dad is because I feel like my whole life was a lie.

If he really didn't love me, then why did he tell me? Did he ever want me in the first place? Did he mean to get in that accident just so he could get away from me?