Deals With The Devil's Spawn

Did you forget you're covered in pee?

Brayden's POV

"So...you set your friend on fire?"

I nodded.

“Purposely?”

“Are you slow? I just confirmed that it was absolutely done on purpose, didn't it? Which part are you not getting?” I sighed, tiredly.

"And then you and Ms. Mathews, somehow found yourselves breaking into your neighbor's house to steal her sex toys, am I getting this right?" the officer, sitting across from me, asked, his eyes filled with annoyance.

Nodding again, I stared at him with a smirk, trying not laugh when I remembered the face Porter had made when she'd  found Ms. Hart's bigass dildo. "I guess you are slow, since I already told you, Porter was there by mistake."

He sighed, running a hand down his face before giving me a tired look. "That's not what she's saying. Ms. Mathews claims that someone dared her to break into Ms. Hart’s home, and that you tried to stop her."

"Well, it looks like you boys have yourselves a situation of he said/she said, now don't you?" I replied, smugly. I was actually proud of her, I hadn't expected Porter to snitch,not even for a second, but I hadn't expected her to hold up so well under interrogation.

"Alright, Cavanaugh, why don't you start over and tell me how exactly you found yourselves in Ms. Hart's home at three in the morning?" he replied, resting his forehead in his hand, before glancing at his partner behind me with desperation.

"You want the long version or..." I smirked. "It's one of my more entertaining stories, so I would suggest the long version."

"Sure. It's not like I don't have anywhere to be," he muttered, rolling his eyes. I actually felt a little bad for the guy. Clearly he was one of the newer cops and wasn't used to dealing with both my brother and I. Most of the precinct was pretty familiar with our body of work and had actually started to learn how to get the truth out of us, but the newer ones had no clue.

"You know, I know your wife," I told him, stalling. "She's actually really pretty."

His eyes shifted to the cop behind me, before shifting towards me once again. "Um...yeah, I-I know."

I nodded. "Do you think she's happy, Officer..." I leaned forward, and squinted my eyes trying to read the name on his name tag. "...Big? Must have been fun growing up with that name."

He shifted in his chair, nervously. "Uh, she's happy."

"What?"

"My wife," he clarified. "She's happy."

"Mhm, you don't seem too sure about that," I mused, smirking. I watched him swallow hard, his eyes shifting away from me. "I can help with that you know."

His head snapped towards me, his eyes wide. "What?"

"Oh don't get your pantyhose in a twist, I just meant I could give you a few tips," I replied, rolling my eyes. "But, if I help you out, Officer Big, you have to help me out."

"I can't help you out here, Cavanaugh," he replied, hastily, shaking his head, his eyes shifting to his partner, nervously.

"I didn't mean me," I told him, when his eyes shifted back to me, curiously, I continued, "I help you with your girl, you help me with mine. If I help you, you have to make sure Porter isn't involved in any of this."

"Alright, Cavanaugh, that's enough." I fought the urge to glare when Officer Big's partner spoke up, moving from his position behind me to move around the table and take the chair next to his partner. This one I knew enough to be on a first name basis with, and I also knew he gave as good as he got. "Enough of the bullshit. What happened? From the start this time, or I'll keep your little girlfriend in here all night."