Dear Daniel ~ Dan x Reader

Ch. 22

( Your POV )

When I woke up in the morning, I turned over to find a sleeping Dan. His arm was still tight around me. Not a painful tight but I loving tight. The kind of tight that someone who loves you holds you with to assure you that you're loved and safe. It was amazing how he could still have that loving grip while he was asleep.

I took this time while he was sleeping to admire him. His beautiful deep brown eyes were gently shut and his soft curly waves were rested on the pillow. I looked closely around his eyes because they had seemed to be puffed up. I looked down at his pillow and saw a small pool of tears. He had been crying, whether it was last night or in his dreams, he was crying. I gently brushed his fringe out of his eye and kissed his forehead before getting up.

I quickly changed into a bra and underwear and looked at myself in the mirror. I'd glanced at myself in the mirror and then at my skin. I was hopping that the part with Kyle didn't actually happen but it did. The black eye, swollen face, bruised stomach and prints from his tight grip were still there. I felt like they were mocking me. I felt ashamed.

"I let this happen to me", I whispered as a tear fell down my face. "I should've listened to everyone. They knew better." More tears fell down my face as I got angrier. I looked at my mirror and punched it. There was a loud crashing sound of the glass falling to the floor. More tears fell down my face as my fist bled. I started to beat on what was left of my mirror and tell myself how it was all my fault.

( Dan's POV )

I woke up to a loud crash of what seemed to be glass. I quickly shot up and saw (y/n) in tears as her fist bled.

"(Y/n)", I said hoping she'd hear me. Instead she started to beat on the remains of her mirror.

"This is all my fucking fault! I let him do this! I'm such a fucking dumb ass! Why couldn't I listen to anyone?!" She was screaming so many untrue things. I quickly rushed to her before she could hurt herself anymore than she already had. I ran up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist so I could pick her up and pull her away from the mirror.

"Shhhhh", I whispered to her.

"Let go of me!" She was kicking her legs as she screamed.

"Calm down, you're okay." She kept trying to loosen my grip by kicking and prying my arms off of her. She was in tears as she screamed.

"Put me down!" She wasn't acting like herself. She doesn't blow up like this.

"(Y/n), it's Dan. You're safe. I'd never hurt you. I love you." She stopped.

( Your POV )

"(Y/n), it's Dan. You're safe. I'd never hurt you. I love you", he said. I blinked a couple times, realizing that it wasn't Kyle, it was Dan. He set me down on the bed and kneeled down to look at me. "Are you okay?" I had no words to answer him. Why had I thought he was Kyle? Why had I thought he was trying to hurt me? I knew he was in the room so why'd I think he was Kyle?

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry." He looked confused. I began to cry again.

"I- I don't know why but I thought you were him. I thought he had found out where I lived and he was going to hurt me again. I-", I couldn't even believe I thought Dan was that monster. I broke down into more tears.

He wasn't mad though. He wasn't mad that I thought he was Kyle. He nodded like her understood. Maybe he understood what was going on in my head.

"You don't have to be sorry for thinking that. I should've went in front of you so you would've know it was me."

( Dan's POV )

I looked down at her fist. It was bleeding.

"Come, I'll fix it." I lead her into the bathroom and put rubbing alcohol on her fist to clean it.

"Dan?" I looked up at her. "Why were you crying last night?"

"I wasn't", I lied.

"Yes you were. Your eyes were puffy when I woke up this morning and there was a small pool of tears on your pillow." Shit.

"Don't worry about it." I looked back down to her fist and started wrapping it up.

"Dan." Her voice was more stern.

"Fine. I've just been so upset since we weren't talking I've cried everyday but more when I found out you were with him. I felt so alone. I thought I lost you. Abigail and Phil took me with them to help her mum even though I didn't want to. Her mum let me lay in Abigail's old room. I cried myself to sleep because I missed you. I missed your fun personality and how it's never a dull moment with you. I missed your beautiful smile and how your teeth always shine. I missed your gorgeous eyes and how they sparkle. I missed you and you lit a room. I missed how you lit up my world. You made my world so much clearer. When we were apart, everything filled with darkness. When (y/bf/n) arrived, I asked her if I could borrow her car to come back. I cried the whole drive here. I don't even know if you noticed the knocked over a chair because I was so upset. This probably isn't even something I should tell you right now but you're always so honest with me that I guess it's my turn." I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a blade. "This is my blade. I've had it since I was 19 and I've used it here and there. I usually don't bring it with me on trips but for some reason I did. A couple days ago, I started using it again. When I found out you were with him, I used it more than I ever have. Last night after you fell asleep, I was so furious and upset about the whole situation, I used it. I'm so mad and upset that I stopped trying when you let me go. That I wasn't there to protect you." I put my blade back in my pocket and showed her my wrist. I tried to hide my face. I was ashamed and crying.