Save me // ft. Dolan twins

Part 6 {Anxiety}

P.O.V. Maya

He leans in, trying to kiss me.

I turn my head away and immediately stand up from the bed.

'I am so sorry Maya.' I shake my head. 'I am, I am sorry.' He says again.

'No, no don't.'

He reaches for my hand, 'don't touch me!' 'Maya what is going on with you?' 'Nothing.'

I run my hands through my hair.

This can't be happening!

'I can't help you if you keep me in the dark,' Grayson says really calm. 'I don't want any help.' 'But I wanna help you, please don't shut me out.'

I start walking around in his room, I don't know what to do with this.

He tried to kiss me... ME.

I'm not special, I am just Maya, ugly, fat Maya.

It becomes harder to breathe, my heartbeat is raising.

I ignore everything around me.

I can't do this.

I am fat, ugly, not worth it, he doesn't deserve someone like me.

Why am I panicking over someone that wanted to kiss me...

I feel someone grabbing my wrist and he pulls me into a hug.

P.O.V. Grayson

She's stressfully walking around the room.

'Maya, calm down.' 'Maya!' 'Maya please calm down.' 'It is okay, that you didn't want to kiss me, just calm down.'

I grab her wrist and pull her into a hug.

She breaks.

Tears are running down her cheeks.

She literally is a mess, what is going on in that head of hers?

P.O.V. Maya

I feel so weak right now, so vulnerable.

I try to keep the tears in but it won't work, they are already streaming down my face, I can't help it.

I am so weak, I can't even stand up straight, I got the feeling that my muscles are turned off. I collapse.

Grayson lets go of me and sits down next to me on the floor.

'I am here for you, I will always be here for you,' he says and he grabs my hand.

I nod and holds his hand very tight.

'I-' I try to say. 'You don't have to say anything, silence is a good thing sometimes.'

I place my head on his shoulder.

And there we are, Grayson and I sitting on the floor holding hands.

I do love him, I really do, I am just so afraid that I'll hurt him with my stupidity.

'Hey guys there is this great party tonight, we should go!' Ethan says walking into Grayson's room.

'Oh didn't mean to interrupt.' 'It's okay,' Grayson answers.

'Lets go to the party,' I say.

Grayson looks with a weird face at me and then agrees.

'I do have to go home to change my clothes tho.' 'Sure, we will bring you home and wait for you outside, but the party starts at nine pm so we still have some time,' Ethan says. I nod.

He walks out of the room and stands up.

'Are you okay Maya?' Grayson asks. 'Yeah why wouldn't I be?' 'Because of what just happened.'

I get quiet, 'I'm fine.'

Hide it like I always do.

I see him looking at the cutting marks on my arm.

'Are you 100% sure that you're okay?' He asks.

I look him in the eye, he really wants me to tell him the truth.

I shake my head, 'no,' I say quietly.

'Why are you doing this?' He asks and grabs my arm so he looks at the marks. 'This way I can control the pain.'

'You know that that really isn't the right solution to things right?' I nod. 'I really don't wanna talk about it.' 'Okay, but I am here for you.'

It isn't that I don't want him to know how I feel. It is more like I don't wanna be reminded of it all the time.

Authors note:

Hi guys, so I won't be able to upload tomorrow due to personal stuff. So this is already a new part and there won't be any part tomorrow.

Hope you'll like this part

Love you❤️