A Month To Live

A Month To Live (46)

I was pushing the boundaries on the speed limit. It took nearly all my strength to not just floor it down the highway but I don't think my car would have even been able to handle it. I was almost at Richmond anyway, just ten short minutes away.

I guess I should start at his house. Although, it was a Saturday, he could be anywhere. What if he was at George's or Liam's house? Crap. I should have thought about this sooner. If I got to his and he wasn't there, then what would I do?

As I approached the outskirts of town, I felt nostalgic. I'd gotten used to living here and I guess I missed it. It strangely felt more like home than... well home.

I had to slow down a lot then as I made my way through the residential areas. I got quite close to passing my old apartment but my route took me further away so I wasn't able to drive past. I was tempted to go back and see if anyone had moved in but I resisted the urge.

'Oh shit,' I breathed. I repeated this a few times the closer I got.

Was I an idiot? How had I gone this whole ride without thinking about what I was going to say to him? Why did I never think things through? I guess it's not my style. I'd have to wing it. It was more me that way anyway.

My heart skipped a beat when I finally drove down their road and spotted their house. I missed hanging out there.

I slowed down and parked a few houses away, gripping the steering wheel tightly. His car wasn't there. Neither was his dad's. Fuck. Was anyone home?

I let out a shaky breath and quickly got out. I didn't give myself a chance to pause or have any thoughts of leaving. Instead I strode straight up to the house, down the path and up to the front door. I hovered my hand over the door for a long moment before quickly pressing the doorbell and taking a step back.

My heart was pounding in my chest while I waited for some kind of response. It was quicker than I expected too. The door swung open only a few moments later.

'Remi,' I said, swallowing past the lump in my throat as she froze in the doorway.

I didn't even say goodbye to her really. Actually, I didn't say goodbye to anyone. She didn't look angry but she did look surprised to see me. I wondered then if he told her anything. Or had he kept it all to himself? My heart throbbed as I imagined him bearing the weight of it all alone.

'Raegan?' she said quietly. 'What... what are you doing here - no wait.' She shook her head to clear it and her face turned harder. I noticed a pen sitting behind her ear and realised she must've been studying for the exams.

'I'm here to...' I broke off.

To fix everything? To apologise?

'What happened?' she asked. 'Why did you leave? What did you to do Bradley? I thought you liked him but you left as if you didn't care-' she spoke angrily.

'I do care, Remi,' I interrupted before she could go on. 'I do,' I repeated in a softer tone. 'That's why I came back... I can't... I have to fix it,' I whispered.

She frowned at me then and a curious expression crossed her face. She didn't know what had happened. If she knew, she'd be asking different questions.

'What's happened to you?' she asked.

'If I promise to tell you later, will you please let me go find him? Before I lose my nerve,' I added, rubbing the back of my neck.

'I wish I could tell you where he is,' she said, looking at the floor and leaning against the door frame. 'He took off this morning.'

I closed my eyes and let out a low breath.

'D'you have any idea where he went?' I asked.

'I don't know, Raegan,' she sighed. 'He said... he didn't really make sense. He said he was going to mom's but, you know our mom's...' she trailed off.