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Today

Is it wrong to hate someone simply because they are happy?

Of course it is. The bitchy voice inside my head tells me how disgusting it is that I could think such thoughts.

You'll pay for that. You deserve to pay for that. They are happy because they are a good person; you are not.

I try to be a good person. I promise I do. I try to talk to people who are alone and I try not to think anything bad of people, because I've always believed that you can't judge someone unless you know their life story. You shouldn't even open your mouth to say something anything less than kind to someone you don't know. One time a boy moved to my school, and he was a little odd. I talked to him because he was in one of my classes and he didn't know anyone. I found out that his Mom had just died, and he'd moved here for a fresh start. A few days later, some stupid girls who think they are the most amazing people in the world just because they had good looks started laughing at him, mocking him. He pretended not to care but I know for a fact that no matter who you are, if you are going through pain then you are vulnerable to even the slightest thing upsetting you and ruining your week.

I hate girls like that.

I wanted to scream at them and tell them that they don't know his life so they have no right to act cocky just because they have given themselves the social status of popular. If popular is what you are, that doesn't mean you can be mean. If you are fucking popular, then use it for something good. Be nice to people. Encourage your dickhead friends to be nice to people. Or just let people be. It's not hard.

"You look like you're planning a murder," Jace laughs, falling down on the grass beside me. His blue eyes glitter from the sun and I feel a warmth inside of me.

"I'm just thinking."

"That's dangerous."

I look back at the group of girls and boys I was staring at. They all laugh and throw food at each other; a couple are hugging and smiling. It makes me sad.

"What's on your mind?"

"Everything."

Jace tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear and I close my eyes, breathing in the warm air and the peaceful sound of the birds and students talking. "You not hungry?"

"Kinda, but I just want to sit here alone." Don't get me wrong, I love food. I'm obsessed, even, but I'd rather give it up on days like these where I just want to be alone with my thoughts instead of going inside to get food and seeing my friends and brothers, because I wouldn't get back out.

"Is that your nice way of telling me to fuck off?"

"If I wanted you to fuck off then I'd straight up tell you to fuck off."

"That's true," he laughs and I almost catch myself smiling from the sight of his smiley face. Pathetic. You still have feelings for a boy who broke your heart. A boy who proved that he does not share the same feelings you do.

"Just leave if you want," I turn my head away from his direction.

"Woah, what's with you suddenly going cold on me?"

"I'm just tired."

"You're always fucking tired."

"Is it a crime to be tired?"

He rolls his eyes, reaching into his bag. "You're a brat when you're hungry." He pulls out a chocolate bar, breaking off some and handing it to me.

"You just became my favourite person," I grin, taking the chocolate and guzzling it down.

"Don't pretend I wasn't already."

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