Money Can't Buy Happiness

Chapter 27

The next morning, still emotionally battered from the night before, Katie was hit yet again with a call from Tara while on her way to Saint Thomas. Lumpy had passed, barely five minutes before she could arrive and much more suddenly than any of them ever suspected.

"Th-thank you," she whimpered. "I'll be there, uh, soon. I want to say goodbye." The light turned green and she stepped on the gas, finishing the trip just a little too late.

A massive crushing wave of guilt hit her when she finally stepped into his room, now eerily silent with the monitors turned off. She had been a terrible granddaughter over the last year and hadn't even stayed the night in his room, she thought there was more time, she felt she needed to be with Charlie. Lumpy hadn't even gotten a chance to meet his great granddaughter.

"I'm sorry, Pop," she cried as she took his hand. "You shouldn't have been alone, I should have been here, I'm so sorry."

Katie sat with him for some time, crying and apologizing over and over, but it never felt like enough. The whirlwind of her life made certain she wouldn't have a clear head, mainly emotionally, to process such a loss.

As she left, red faced and sniffling, a nurse stopped her with a release form. Blindly she signed, numb and exhausted, and dragged her feet back to the elevator. Katie didn't hear the squeak of sneakers on the tile until Jax was right behind her.

"I'm sorry," he said as a greeting. It must have been the hundredth time he'd said it since she returned to Charming but just then it felt genuine and she accepted it openly with a weak smile and nod. "Are you okay, Kate?"

"I am," she felt herself on the verge of sobbing again as he hugged her. "I'm not," she admitted.

"I know," he sighed.

She stepped away from their hug and wiped her eyes, Jax catching one fat tear from the edge of her jaw bone. "What are you doing here?"

"The boys are in the hospital daycare but Tara forgot Thomas' bag," he explained. "Where's Charlie?"

Nodding, slightly jealous of the sweet little family he had, she gestured to the elevator doors as they began to open. "Oh, I left her with Alec."

"Probably a good idea," he said, slightly disappointed. "If you need anything me and Tara can help."

"Everything is basically done," she shrugged.

Jax hit the elevator button and the doors closed. "You expected it, probably better this way."

"Yeah, I just," she shrugged. "I was so fucking caught up in me and Charlie and Happy and you and I just, I feel like I abandoned him."

"You didn't," he said softly. "Lumpy loved you, Kate, talked about you all the time, he understood."

"He never even met Charlie," she cried. "I didn't even stay with him last night, HIS last night."

"You didn't know," he pulled her in for a hug again, "And you have a baby. You can't do this to yourself."

"Too late," the doors opened. "You'll tell everyone, right?"

"Yeah," he promised. "Happy's gonna wanna talk to you."

"I figured," she huffed. "I don't need him fucking with my head. I love him but he hates Charlie," she mumbled. "Not hate, he resents her though and I am not okay with that."

He nodded, "I'm not either, but I don't have a say, I guess."

"You do, you're her dad," Katie whispered as they walked out to the parking lot. "You will always be her dad until you decide otherwise, Jax. I don't expect much, I understand the situation but that doesn't mean I don't want you to be there for her."