ᵇʳᵘᵗᵃˡ ; ᵐᵃˡ'ˢ ˢᵉᶜʳᵉᵗ ᵈⁱᵃʳʸ ✓

Dear Diary ➤ Part 1

Dear diary,

Is that how you start these things off? Um... I guess I'll picture this as me speaking to an audience.

An audience that wants to know what it's like in my head. Inside of a tormented, scorn teenage girl who, at one point, got joy out of hurting others.

But we're (lol) not here to talk about my past. We're here to talk about my present... that my past loves to interrupt but that's besides the point.

{ Today was a fucking mess }

Whoo! A perfect way to start this off.

How do I put this?...... I just need to get this off my chest.

You all won't tell. Those in the beyond.

I'm starting to think Ben and I's relationship is going down hill.

Don't ridicule (hehe big word) me, okay?

I know our relationship has always been a mess. I mean it started from me damn near drugging him-

Ok! Not drugging. It wasn't drugging. It was simple a magic cookie. That's all.

It's just that...

All we seem to do is argue and fight.

Plus we barely have time for each other! I mean, I never told nobody this but I really miss the Isle, you know?

I mean, it created who I am and gave me the scars that represents who I am.

But I loved those scars. Unlike my friends, I love how it's apart of me.

But they all love to ignore it so it makes me feel like the bad guy here. Am I bad for still being lovingly attached to my terrible past? The same past that even hurt some of friends?

Am I selfish for missing it? Knowing how they secretly wanted to escape it for years.

But I'm not happy. I'm not happy here.

Evie's happy here...

I don't care. I'm not her. I'm not a prissy pink princess.

I have more to say but I think this is enough. Yeah.

°.✩┈┈∘*┈ 🐉 ┈*∘┈┈✩.°

Mal closed her journal, letting out a breath of air. Her eyes shifted to the side again and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As she blinked, they dripped from her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth; her heart sank.

"No. Not today. Not again. This is why I created this. This is why I have this. Calm down, Mal. Calm down." She took in a deep breath and let another out.

"This idea better work." She sighed.