ᵇʳᵘᵗᵃˡ ; ᵐᵃˡ'ˢ ˢᵉᶜʳᵉᵗ ᵈⁱᵃʳʸ ✓

Dear Diary ➤ Part 4

Dear diary,

Okay, do believe me...

I do not want to make this all about Ben.

Or hell even about my unstable ass mind.

But I'm just really starting to think more about the decisions I've made.

I don't know where they are coming from. I have never been so confused in my life.

Life is supposed to be good for me now. I defeated my mom, I basically shrunk her! We have nothing else to worry about!

But no. I have cameras in my face all the time,

Prince and Princesses smiling in my face while judging me behind my back,

Ben is always busy doing his King stuff and the only time he really comes for me is if he needs me to do some queen stuff, or change something,

I need someone to vent to but whenever I vented to E I always brought up the Isle and she would either freeze or shrug it off so there goes my only vent mate...

Carlos wouldn't know how to help me. The boy barely knows how to help himself.

Maybe I should vent to Jay? After giving him time to think he can come up with the best comfort words.

Is this how love feels?

Arguments? Distancing? Hiding your feelings for partner? Changing a part of you to please them? Feeling bad about wanting to spend time with them because you know they love the schedule they have?

Is love supposed to hurt this much? Am I supposed to get ridiculed by a prissy pink princess because of my love? Am I supposed to get questioned about my love by strangers all the time?

I'm so confused.

My mom always told me that love was weak.

She always told me that World Domination was what I wanted.
She always told me that Evil always out did Good.

She hated the AKs.

She would've killed me if she found out about our relationship.

I felt safe in Auradon. But she even came here.

And she still is here.

Everything I do, everything I did, was out of despite of my mother.

God....

She's still controlling me.