Landslide: Before (Book 1) (GirlxGirl / lesbian/ LGBTQ)

Chapter Three

Hey peoples, so, I'm not new to wattpad, I've written a handful of stories on her before under other usernames. But this is my first time writing a queer love story and I wanted to separate it from my other works (which I wrote super early on in my life and way before I came out). 

I want to make it clear that this story will be a super slow burn romance and there will be a some allusions to mental illness, self harm, abuse, and so on. I will put a trigger warning before those moments just to ensure that you all are staying safe. 

There is a scene in this chapter where Emery is having a major panic attack, so if that in anyway will trigger or bother you, it's way towards  the end. ENJOY!

Summary: The one where Emery can't breathe 

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THREE

I stared dumbfounded at the scene unfolded before me. Sawyer's hands explored the girl's body leaving me to watch painfully. The other girl's hands tangled in Sawyer's hair pulling her closer; my girlfriend didn't protest. My heart ached in my chest and bile rose up my throat. I couldn't get my body to move, I was stuck to this spot, eyes never looking away.

"Emery! You gotta try this sh--" Carmilla stopped dead in her tracks as she noticed my frozen state. She followed my line of sight, landing on the make out session that had me tethered to my spot. "You have got to be kidding me!" She shouted, causing Sawyer and company to break apart. Sawyer immediately recognized the voice and turned toward us. Her eyes widen in shock and horror, mouth flapping open and closed trying to find words. All that came out was a weak muttering of my name.

"Emery..." Sawyer gasped. Before she could say anything more, I pivoted on my heel, taking Carmilla's hand tugging her away. I was moving rapidly, my heart pounded in my chest. Each heavy thud sounding in my ears so loud that I could barely hear my own thoughts. I pushed past crowds of people praying that I would lose Sawyer in them. My feet didn't stop until I was at the outskirts of party where there weren't as many people. I tried my best to catch my breath but it kept getting stuck in my throat and I found myself choking. Tears flowed fast down my face creating rivers under my eyes. My legs crumbled forcing me to the ground and Carmilla's arms wrap around me holding me close. Her hand gently rubbed my back as she muttered soothing words.

"Just breathe, Emmie," Carmilla murmured in my ear. "Will you be okay while I go find Aurora?" I nodded numbly as I began to breath normally again. She pressed a kiss to my temple and swiftly navigated through the throngs of people back into the house. I tucked myself into a ball hoping that no one would come near me. The scene of Sawyer's lips attached to another girls forever burned into my mind; I watched it in my head on repeat. My stomach churned as their moans fill my head. When my eyes close it's all I see and I can't help but feel sick to my stomach. Before I could stop it, my head ends up in a bush next to me and I threw up to the point of dry heaving trying to rid my body of everything I witnessed.

I was slumped against a tree when Carmilla found me again. She had Aurora and Sophie in tow. I looked at them all and felt their pity radiating toward me. Carmilla helped me to my feet clasping her hand in mine. Aurora followed suit and Sophie moved behind me as they led me out of the party and to the car.

We were nearly to the car when footsteps came running toward us. "Wait, Emery!" Sawyer's voice assaulted my ears and I had to stop the sob that was bubbled up. She came to a stop in front of us, a look of panic written on her face. She gazed at me sadly, "I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to--" Her sentence got cut off quickly.

"Didn't mean to? What exactly were you trying to do then?" Carmilla snapped, "Were you looking for lost treasure in the back of that girls mouth?" Sawyer glared at Carmilla, an angry fire lit behind her eyes.