Finding it

21

When Alex and I finally finished with the stables, it's later than usual and dinner has already started. I do feel somewhat better, as I feel more secure with a someone by my side who I believe really cares for me. Even though Travis could be running off with another girl right now, it pains me, but not as much.

We arrive at the dining hall, everyone already here, and we are earning a couple of odd looks. Well, we did come a noticeable difference in time late...Jaxie refused to get back in his stable.

It's not like anything has advanced between Alex and I though, I'm still technically with Travis. Our hiatus from eachother doesn't mean that I will cheat with anyone, hopefully it means the same to him. Hopefully, he has come to his senses. I miss my old Travis.

We reach the table and Alex sets me down before sitting into his seat. I still feel eyes on me but choose to ignore it as I don't feel like giving them the satisfaction. I grab a sandwich and pour myself a glass of water and dig in.

"Let's play paranoia!" Angelo says.

"How do you play that?" Kia scrunches her nose.

"You don't know how to play?" He gasps in mock surprise.

"No. I don't."

"Okay, well the rules are fairly simple. We will go counter clockwise, so the person to your left will whisper a question in your ear about a trait of the group or something similar like, who is most likely to feed a faun? and then you name some one out loud for the whole group to hear. But then you flip a coin and if it's heads you tell the group what the question was, tails, you don't."

"Sounds simple." I say.

"Sure it is. Til' you get asked a personal question like who would you make out with or who would you like to go out with the most, and why?"

"Oh."

"I'll go first." Angelo turns and whispers something in Railyn's ear. Going in the order that we are, Angelo will whisper to Rai's, Rai to Alex, Alex to me, myself to Kia, Kia to Miranda and then Miranda to Angelo.

"Miranda." Railyn answers his question out loud.

"What about me?" Miranda asks.

"We can't tell you unless the coin landed on heads" Alex smirks.

"That's why is called paranoia," Miranda says thoughtfully. "I'm all psyched out about what you said about me."

"Exactly."

We flip the coin and it lands on tails. Railyn leans towards Alex and asks her a question, to which Alex turns a bit red.

"Different question!" Alex pleas but Railyn shakes her head, objecting.

"No can do."

"Katie."  Alex mumbles and Railyn bursts with laughter, exclaiming with an I knew it! but Alex ignores her. "Yeah whatever. Flip the damn coin."
Railyn, Kia and Miranda each share a common smirk. What could they possibly be questioning him?
The coins is flipped. It lands on tails. Alex breathes out a held breath and leans over to my ear to whisper the question as I lean towards him.

But when I lean over I catch a glimpse past Miranda's shoulder of someone looking in my direction. I look and find that a pair of blue eyes staring back. Travis's blue eyes. I stare back with a hope that I don't look as pleading as I feel and that I don't look as fed up as I am. I just want Travis to see me. I miss my old Travis.
I am fed up with his not choosing a girlfriend to be with and stick with but that doesn't mean I'm not still in love and like with the Travis I once knew. And as irrationality hopeful or logically dumb as it might be, I can't stop from wanting him back.

This new Travis, though my old or this unknown new,--I can't tell-- looks away first after a moment and I snap back to reality.

"Katie?" Alex says waving a hand in front of my face, "You there?"

"Sorry," I laugh as I try to play it off, "Ask the question again."

"Okay," he says aloud, but then his next series of words come out raspy and whispered, "If you had to share a room with one person of the group for a week who would it be? And why?"

I think for a second. Railyn would try to teach me stuff about Gods know what. Miranda is annoyingly my sister already enough. Angelo and I would have to be babysitting. Kia would be betting on Alex and my chances of being together, also annoyingly. And Alex...despite him being a boy and I'd have to be stuck in the same room with one for a week, he seems like the best option.

"You." I say.

"Me?" Alex's eyebrows go up.

"Yeah, you."

"That defeats the purpose of me being paranoid then, because I already know."

"You want me to choose differently?"

"Yeah."

I think for a second and come up with a sfew mole solution. I'll just kill Kia of she makes any remarks about Alex and I. "Kia."

We flip the coin and it lands on tails.

We play until we are bored and then exchange goodbyes for the night. I do a short handshake with Railyn that she made up then laugh out good nights. Next Angelo ruffles my hair like a brother would and pinches my cheeks as a slap his hands away from my face, exclaiming a good night, dork. to him and then turn to Alex, Kia and Miranda, my cohort mates. We start walking and we separate ways at the states. Alex and Kia's beds are on different higher levels while Miranda's and mine are on the firsts. I ruffle Kia's hair as Angelo did to me and say good night as she tells me to shut up and I then turn to Alex giving him a warm hug good night. We release from each other and they two go up the stairs.

When I lie down in my cot, though, blue eye haunt me as warm hugs taunt me in my dreams.

9 • 23 • 17
this chappie sucks booty holes.
pardon my french first graders.
but it do.
next chappie will make up for it though.
..i uhm..i think...
heh
💜