Finding it

26

The first light of dawn is when I get up. Sleep couldn't contain me, I'm too anxious to just lay in bed, so I roll out of my cot and head towards the showers.

Nobody is up this early, so silence accompanies me and in my lonesome morning. The steam of the hot bath I sit in wafts around me, comfortingly, and I regret taking the bath. I wanted to wake up, not fall back asleep. Yet, the comfort of the bath feels so good... Nope, I have something to do today, I think to myself I have something I must do.

I plunge myself into to water, but then reemerge, sighing and I get out. I get dressed in a pair of jeans and I thrown on a hoodie over myself without a shirt, get on my footwear and leave. I throw my pajamas into a drawstring bag and sling that over my shoulders, my hair still damp with the water.

I comb my fingers through my hair for a bit, thinking of what to say, but when I occurs to me that there is nothing I can do other than just state the truth, I have to take a breath in and just do it. My feet take me on autopilot, and I don't know where I've ended up walking to until I read the restaurant's name. It is the exact restaurant that Katie and I ate at the first day we arrived at this Camp.

It is the exact restaurant that Mae works at.

I shake my head, Aphrodite, help me now. I push open the door and a little chiming bell goes off above me. I look at it for second, I don't remember that being there last time I came here...well, last time I was with Katie...

A familiar voice from in the kitchen says calls, "Just a second, I'll be there in a moment!" and my heart beats anxiously terrified. The caller walks out and reveals herself, her and see her dark brown hair and her light tan, brown skin--Mae.

"Travis," She says as she sees me, "good morning."
"Good morning," I barely manage to get out. Luckily, though, my voice only wavers a little bit.
"Is there a certain spot you would like to sit?" She grabs a menu for me.
"Uhm, actually, I came here just to talk to you...if that's alright."
Her eyebrows go up, "Oh, okay." She turns and yells into the kitchen, "Mitchel, I'll be back, just gotta get some air real quick!" She is answered with a grunt, and then leads me to the back door.

"I didn't know you were a demigod," She says, "at least not until you came here with Chiron."
"I didn't know you were a demigod, either, until you ended up being my waitress the first night we got here."
"We, being you and that other girl you were with when I served you?"
"Uhm, no not necessarily..."
"So what's bothering you?" She says after having fallen into silence.
"Uhm actually it's more about us..."
"Oh?"
"Yeah..."
"What happened to that girl that you brought here, though?"
"Its more complex that that...just let me say what I came here to say, please."
"Okay.."
"Mae, when we got together I was only staying for three weeks in California with my brother and a couple of friends. I know that we only were together for two of those weeks before I left for New York, and I think you actually liked me, but in truth, I wasn't ready to settle in a real relationship with anyone then. I just had gotten out of a relationship with someone then and I was heartbroken and..."
"And there I was, a rebound." She nods.
"Yes...Sorry."
"Just continue."
So I do. I tell her about how I thought I would never see her again and how I just figure that that past us wasn't even real. I convinced myself that the relationship wasn't anything and decided to act like it didn't happen. Yet, there was still that heart ache from Myra. So I came up with the plan to get her jealous and have get crawling
back to me.

I tell her about how I hooked up with Katie as part of the plan because although Katie wasn't someone that would necessarily overly draw Myra's attention, she was known, respected, liked throughout camp and, with honesty, pretty.

I knew I thought she was pretty  but it wasn't anything major until her looks were matched with charm and wit and smarts and just get amazing personality. A while into the faked relationship I noticed how I was being attracted to Katie more and more, but not until Myra showed her true colors of teasing and disrespecting Raelyn at the lake, had I realized that Myra wasn't the kind of person I wanted.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to tell Katie that I was over Myra and that our faked relationship could close. I thought about telling her again and again, but my attraction towards her constantly stopped me. It wasn't until our first kiss at Myra's party did I realize: that attraction was affection.

I explain about the following events that occurred. I tell her events all the way up to the second party. The party where Myra made Katie think I didn't like her and how she convinced her that I would chose the daughter of Apollo over the daughter of Demeter. Even though it was the opposite.

I speak of how Katie disappeared for weeks and weeks in her cabin not wanting to see by anyone other than her siblings. And it wasn't until about a month later that I finally got see her again. How else sorted things out and how we got together. For real this time.

Then I tell her of the Camp Jupiter trip Chiron was proposing and how Katie and I signed up. How it wasn't until seeing her, Mae, at the restaurant the just got of arrival that I realized what I had don't moths and months ago.

"You...cheated--?" Mae finally understands.
"Yes, but..." I sigh, "There is no but. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I know what I did was messed up, I don't know what I was thinking, I guess I just wasn't thinking--"
"Travis, shut up okay. What you did was bad, it's terrible, but I didn't expect to ever see you again either. I didn't cheat like you did, but I did loose feelings."
"I understand but, I'm still...I messed up."
"You really like Katie, I can tell. You came clean and that's alright, I guess we're cool now, yeah?"
"I...I guess?"
"Then why do you look confused?"
I guess my face looks confused and I feel. "I didn't expect you to be this...understanding."
"You didn't expect me to be this chill? It's bad that you cheated, but good that you came clean. The only thing you had to do was come clean."
I nod.
"Come clean with Katie too, I'm sure that it will be alright. I imagine she feels lied to. You made her feel loved one moment, and then the next, you're using her to cheat? Everyone hates being hurt, but it's best not to be lied to. Being lied to is the worst insult ever, not because you lied to the person, but because of the thought of her believing it."
I nod again.
"I have to go back to the restaurant but, just to what you gotta do to get her back. She seems really important to you and I'd rather be a rebound with purpose than one to forget."
"Uh--" Is all I get out before she leaves me.

I swear, that did not go as planned.

11 • 01 • 17
this is trash
💜