Demon Heart

Chapter 17.2

CJ

He had stopped wondering what day it was ages ago.  His mind was beyond fried.  Fight it.  Fight her.  They were the only things that he could think.  Wondering what day of the week it was or what time of the day had long since seeped away to a land of complete unimportance.  He'd been gone for a long time, maybe a few days, maybe forty years.  Time itself didn't really matter anymore.

            When CJ wasn't being used as the witch's doll, when he didn't have to have his mind on constant fight mode, he was stored in some cold stone room that smelled of urine and mold.  There was a dim undetectable light source that never got brighter or darker, that helped to muddle his mind on whether it was day or night.  He sat slumped against the wall, too tired to stand, already aware there was no escape.  There were no windows and no doors.  There was only a hole for him to piss in and one of those star transporter things carved into the center of the floor for Etheldreda to come and go with.

            His stomach gave a pitiful whine, like it had also given up, like it knew that no matter how loud it cried it wouldn't receive what it needed.  The nearly emaciated boy shivered in the thin clothes that his warden had graced him with.  His breath rose in clouds in front of him.  Every bone in his body ached, his muscles or what was left of them, throbbed.  His sharp, hollowed frame, was stiff and bruised from the harsh floor and from lack of movement. 

            Being used, having someone force you to do things that your brain was saying otherwise, pushed his body to limits that he had never known.  It left him completely drained.  Etheldreda had told him that if he stopped fighting her so hard, it wouldn't be so bad, and she wouldn't have to punish him so much.

            It would be so easy to do that.  It would be so simple to just let go, to let the witch have him, and there had been many times that he was tempted to do as she said and just stop fighting her.  Fighting never seemed to do any good.  It only caused him pain.  It only caused her to enchant an invisible rope around his neck, strangling him until his body succumbed to unconsciousness, or levitate him several feet above the ground and letting him fall hard on his hands and knees, which he wondered if they were cracked at this point; if not, they were surely sprained.

            Closing his eyes, he took in a weak, congested breath into his damaged lungs.  He couldn't let himself think that way.  Starting to go down that road was a hard one to turn back from.  He knew from personal experience. 

            There had been a point where he'd been painfully close to letting his life fly out the door.  After feeling so alone, after being pushed and shoved around by people who told him he wasn't worth it, that he was just some geek that was throwing his life away, he almost had.  He had had no one to turn to, and had been too afraid to seek out help.  But then a crazy little blonde girl had shown up and dragged him away from all of that.  She'd been angry at him for finding him in the state that he was.  He could hear her voice yelling at him, calling him an idiot.  At the time, he'd been so lost, he got angry back, believing this girl had no idea what he was going through.  That blonde maniac ended up bringing him to her friend, a shy brunette, who didn't know what to say to him.  She couldn't look at him, but still she sat by him.

            "Don't take Aza's anger the wrong way.  When she gets upset at someone like that, it just means she cares."  Evabelle had mumbled.  CJ didn't say anything.  "I don't know what you're going through, so I...I can't really say much, but I know that everyone goes through hard things, but I don't think that we should have to do that alone.  I d-don't know you, but I'm still here."

            Yes, Evabelle was pretty, she was interesting, she was into a few of the geeky things he was into, but it was those words that made him feel better.  It was that quiet comfort that made him start to like her.  But even if he were to get out of this, he couldn't even go back to her.  He could never tell her.  She'd never trust him again.  He thought of the way Etheldreda had traipsed him around with her, taking that walk just to find the barrier point, but using him, knowing that he liked her.  He had felt the witch's smile in his mind as she had taunted and practically confessed to Evabelle right in front of him, using his own tongue.