Me, The devil's spawns, Satan and Romeo [BoyxBoy]

Chapter 17

The cold was like billions needles constantly sticking in my skin. My breath came out as a white fog. My limbs were turning blue from the lack of blood circulating through them. My stomach ached from the lack of substances inside. My head felt heavy, my eyes were closing. I was surrounded by red. It hurt, it was exhilarating, I was dying. And I loved every second of it. The only thing that got me to drain the cold, bloodied water was the fact that I didn't want anyone to find my lifeless body drained of blood. I turned the shower again, but this time with hot water. Not hot enough to cause burns, but hot enough that it still hurt. That along with the painful stabbing sensation that overtook my limbs as blood slowly started circulating through them again was incredible. I savoured every second of it. Telling myself that I deserved it.

Everyone was out, there was spicy nacho pizza in the oven, there was the empty bedrooms, the uninhibited cinema room, there was the stained red bathtub, there was me. I was right. Michael never came home. The clock had struck midnight some time ago. How long, I didn't know. More correctly would be to say I didn't care. All I wanted to do was sleep. But every time I did, I was haunted by Rick's hatred filled gaze and the monsters from my past. Sleep was a luxury I didn't have.

As soon as I was finished cleaning myself up and the bathroom, I took out the first aid kit and bandaged up my thighs so that I wouldn't soil anything else. I didn't care about them finding out. I just didn't want to leave any permanent traces of me when I ceased to exist.

As soon as I was out of the bathroom, I went to my closet to get changed. I still had some of the brothers' clothes which I had stolen through out the 2 years I've been here. I decided on one of Chase's old shirts. His favorite one that he never let anyone else to wear. Not even his twin. Yet, he gave it to me when I had one of my night terrors during my first year in the household. I was always careful with it, never wearing it to sleep, always washing it on hand. I always hid it in Chase's closet when I had the chance because I wanted it to smell like him. Now that I thought back on it, it seems so ridiculous. I've liked them for longer than I thought. All four of them.

I dropped the towel and put the shirt on. It still smelled like it's former owner from the last time I had left it in his room. I had grown since I was 14. It used to reach just above my knees. Now it reached mid-thigh. I put on some plain black boxers and went to bed.

I didn't have a nightmare was my first thought in the morning. I wanted to stay in bed a little while longer. It was comfortable. The same kind of comfort as the last night at the cabin with Michael. It hurt. I checked the clock on my phone. 11:28. The first time in a while that I had slept for so long. There were messages from mom and dad.

-Hey kiddo! Just wanted to let you know that there was an emergency at the hospital so your mom and I won't be coming home today. -Dad

-Hey. I know that dad already sent a text, but I just wanted to let you know that we love you and to remind you to call us if anything happens.
P.s. Michael won't be able to come home this week and wants you to call him -Mom

Well that was just perfect. The eldest wants me to call him. Beautiful. Hopefully he knows that I would never do that. I hoped out of bed and put on some pajama pants. My thighs stung from last night, but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to. I went down to the kitchen. The plan was to eat a bite from the pizza and then throw away 4 pieces of it. Waste of food, I know. That's why I usually just give it to the homeless guy that sleeps around the school, but seeing as it was Saturday and the lack of busses in that direction, throwing it away was the only option available. So that's what I did. Or at least attempted to.

Rick was standing in front of the stove. My guess was that he was cooking something. He hadn't noticed me yet so I carefully walked backwards towards the door of the kitchen. Big mistake on my part. I crashed into someone just as I was about to pass through the doorframe. I heard a small oof which was enough to get Rick's attention. His eyes immediately shot up to the person who I had crashed into and then into mine. I didn't wait for him to start screaming at me to look where I was going so I just mumbled a small sorry and ran away back up the stairs.

It took me a moment after I had closed and locked the door to my room to realize that Rick wasn't cooking anything. He was looking at the untouched pizza from the oven. The one that was supposed to be my lunch and dinner. The one I hadn't touched at all. The one that I could usually finish all by myself in one sitting. I didn't care who I had crashed into. It was one of the brothers. That I knew for sure and that was enough for Rick to look at me with those same eyes. The cold and hateful ones. I couldn't stand looking at them a second time. I was broken. That much I knew, but seeing them a second time. That would shatter me.

I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. Not eating. Not drinking. Nothing. Just laying down on my bed and reading a book as per usual. Somewhere around the afternoon, I heard footsteps and the front door opening and closing. The brothers had left once again. I was thirsty. I knew that much. I decided to try my luck and go and fetch a water bottle.

I carefully and silently opened the door and looked around as I sharpened my ears. Searching for sounds of other living beings. Nothing. I continued the same way down the hallway and the stairs. Stopping at every corner and nook I could hide myself behind just in case. No one. After I reached the last step of the staircase, I raced to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. Just as I was about to run back to the safety of my room, I got lifted by the waist.

"You're not going anywhere." That voice belonged to Damon. Not exactly the last person I'd like to see, but pretty darn close. He threw me over his shoulder and headed towards the lounge. My ribs digging into his shoulder blades.

I was thrown onto one of the couches before I had a chance to take in my surroundings. Rick was standing a little to the side, behind Damon. His arms were crossed. He did not look happy. I was scared.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't careful and ran into Chase!" I hoped it would come out normally, but I was shaking too much for that. I didn't dare look in their eyes.

"Apology accepted, but that's not why you're here."
Said Rick as he stepped closer.

"Take your shirt off." Demanded Damon. I knew that they knew of my scars. That's why I didn't hesitate as much when I pulled Chase's shirt off. It also explained why he wasn't here. They were probably going to torture me. I let the shirt slide over my head, and holding it in front of my stomach.

"Fuck." Mumbled Rick. I kept my gaze glued to the floor. My stomach had sunken and my ribs were protruding. My upper arms were thin enough that I could wrap my pointer finger and thumb around them. I've always been naturally skinny. No matter how much I ate, I never gained anything. My weight was normal. Just above the BMI line between normal weight and underweight. But now, now I was underweight. And that's just the result from one week of barely eating anything. It was visible.

"I'm calling Michael." Said Damon as he fished for his phone around the pocket of his hoody. My body moved before I could stop it. I placed my hand above his and forced myself to look into his eyes.

"Don't! Please don't. Don't call him. I'll be careful. I won't bother you and I won't let my organs to shut down, so please. Don't call him. I'll do my best not to be an even bigger burden than I already am. So please don't tell the others about this..." Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes. Damon's eyes widened. I grabbed the shirt and ran out of the house as fast as I could. I couldn't keep it in. The tears spilled out. I couldn't control it. I ran as fast as I could to the forest behind the house. The one I was never allowed to go into. It was over. They would never look at me again. They were going to kick me out like all the other families. I was alone.