Accidentally In Love

Chapter 4: Two can play that game

Don't listen to the song that is attached above until the end of this chapter!!!!

Bella's POV:
We got out of Jacksons car when we got to my house. He was walking me to my front door which I found a bit odd because he doesn't usually do that to anyone. Let alone me! But I pushed that thought to the side for now. Back in the begging of middle school when me and Eddie first met, I had this little crush on Jackson. It was never anything major though. So I never worried about it. My feelings for him were gone by now. I had my eye on.... well. Someone else in particular. "Thank you for bringing me home" I said to Jackson. "No problem anytime" he said walking closer to me. What was going on?! "I'll pay you back, I promise." I said walking closer to my front door. "How about now?" He said. "What?" I'm lost! Confused. What the hell is going on?!?!
Jackson took my confusion as an opportunity to answer my question but in a different way. He smashed his lips against my and pulled me closer to him by my hips, closing the gap between us. I don't know why, but I kissed him back. I didn't feel right though. There was none of that sappy stuff of a weird feeling in my stomach or anything like that. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him even closer if that was even possible. Somehow I thought of this as a good thing though! Jackson is one of Eddie's best friends! Me and Jackson are kissing! Eddie is with Jessica and he knows I'm pissed about it! Two can play that game Edward! Me and Jackson pulled away at the same time to catch our breath. He still had his arms around my waist and I had my arms around his neck. "Bella, listen. I've liked you for a while now. And I was kind of wondering if you would do me the honors of being my girlfriend!" he said happily but still somewhat nervous. "Jackson I'd love to" I said happily. He pulled me in for yet another kiss and then hugged me. "See you tomorrow girlfriend!" He shouted while walking back to his car. "Bella?! You ok?" "What?" "You blanked out for a bit" that's when I realized it was all in my head. Jackson didn't kiss me or ask me to be his girlfriend. "Hey can I ask you a question?" "Um, yeah sure" "would you be my girlfriend?" "Yeah sure" He smiled, said his goodbyes and walked back to his car. I simply waved and walked inside my house. Hah stupid Eddie, you thought you were the only one who could do that. Well guess what? Two can play that game! I know you might be thinking that I'm an ass and that I'm only dating Jack to get Eddie pissed. But to be honest I'm not. I mean yeah it would be awesome to get Eddie pissed and give him a taste of his own medicine but I actually kind of like Jackson. At least I started to after that kiss. Even if I didn't feel anything I'm sure that eventually I will. It was probably just like that because I wasn't expecting it. But I really do. I like Jackson. But one thing that only one person knows...... I'm afraid of the 3 most important words in a relationship. I Love You
That's what I was most afraid of. And only one person knew that and knew that real damn good. Eddie. We had poured out all of our feelings and secrets to each other. We really know everything about each other. I know it may sound stupid. It's just a word! But it's not. Love is something yet it's nothing. It's the most complicated thing on this planet. You have some people that will just use you and they'll say that they love you and you say it back because you actually feel something. But them? They could give less of a crap. They're just using you because they want something. They don't mean it. And then they leave you. And they also leave you wondering,......... does love mean....... anything?!?? And then there is other people that mean every single I love you that comes out of their mouth. They dedicate their life to you and they'd do anything for you. You actually means something to them. The sad part about all of it though is that you never know who you've got. You may think you've got the good guy, but in reality you got stuck with a player that probably doesn't love you for you. That's why I'm scared. Because I don't know what I'm gonna get and I never want to end up with the player. I don't want that type of hurt in my heart. I don't want to have to live in pain and sadness trying to get over that person. Love is just another 4 letter word, but that never stopped nobody, but it'll stop me. It always has, it does right now, and it always will. Same thing with trust. It's the same damn way. You trust someone and then you get hurt. The question is, Can you really trust anyone without getting hurt? No. No you can't. And and trust is the most precious thing but will somehow always end up getting you hurt.And no one knows that better about me than Eddie.
I really wish that none of this would be going on between me and him. It's like I told him when we were in that closet. I can't lose him. Eddie's kind of all I've got. He's all I've ever had. And to lose him is like loosing everything I've ever had. I can't risk that. I need to talk to him. I pulled out my phone going to Eddie's contact having a scared feeling in my stomach with what I was about to put.
Me: Hey, I'm sorry about today. I don't know what's wrong with me. Can we please talk tomorrow.
Me: Eddie please answer
Me: I'm sorry for what I did. I know it was wrong and I should just be happy for you,
Me: Eddie please
Me:God dammit Eddie
Me: Eddie I can't loose you and you know it. Please. I need you. Answer me please!
Eddie: God dammit, can't I just spend one night without you bothering me?! It's not my fault your board and sitting on your ass doing nothing!
Eddie: I wasn't gonna go pick you up anyway.
Eddie: stop bothering me. Bye Bella.

I sat there in shock reading the text messages that he had just sent me. I read them over and over again trying to process what he had said to me. I knew it. I couldn't trust anyone and just when I thought I could, they prove me wrong and show me that I was right all along. You can never trust anybody without getting hurt. Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes. I let them. I didn't sob even though I wanted to. Eddie wasn't worth my emotions or feelings. So why was I gonna waste my time crying over him. I could be with Jackson. In a real relationship. Where I don't just want to get Eddie back. I don't even care about getting him back for what he did,anymore. He could move to the other side of the world for all I care and it wouldn't affect me one bit. I don't need him. I never did. I just needed to be able to talk to someone. I have other people for that. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard my phone ring, signaling I had gotten a text. I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach and slowly picked up my phone from where it was, next to me.
Jackson: Goodnight beautiful! I'll pick you up tomorrow 😘
I smiled as I saw the text and felt my cheeks heat up.
Me: Night Jack. 😊
I put my phone back down and got ready to go to sleep.
After I finished taking a shower and putting on my t-shirt and shorts to sleep in, I got under the covers. The last thing I remember thinking before I went to sleep was......... I don't need Eddie in my life. I never did, never have, and never will. Then, darkness took over.

*****************************************
A/N: Definition of Eddie: Ass. I'm sorry Bella! Eddie really is an idiot huh? Anyway, let me know what you guys thought of that chapter. :)

TheDora xx