Accidentally In Love

Chapter 21: I'm sorry

Bella's POV:

It's been a week since I broke up with Eddie. A week of heartache and pain. A week without my best friend. A week of telling myself that I knew I shouldn't have fallen. And even if I did, I shouldn't have let myself fall that hard.

I was so stupid to think that this would ever work out! I was stupid to think that me and Eddie could be more than best friends and everything would still be fine. I knew that I shouldn't have let my guard down but I did anyway, and it's the stupidest thing I could have ever done in my whole lifetime!

I'm broken. He broke me. 'Us' broke me. And it's all my fault. I wouldn't be in this much pain if I had kept my walls. We wouldn't be in this much pain if I had just kept my walls. He tore them down. And the worst part is, I let him. I didn't even budge. I sat there and watch him brake down everything I put up to keep me safe. I surrendered everything because he made me believe I was his.

I sat there and watched as he tore down my shield and my protection from the rest of the world. I watched as he opened a little door for all of that horrible and terrible feelings in the world that come with love flood into me. And I didn't do anything. I didn't move not one muscle. And it didn't get me anywhere. All it did was sadden me. I gave and I gave and he just took it! I'm such an idiot for thinking that I could ever trust someone. Even if that someone was my best friend.

Like everyone says, all good things must come to an end. Was this even good at all? Was any of it good? When I take the time to actually look back on all of this, and reflect, my answer is no. None of it was worth what I'm feeling right now. None of it was worth my tears, heartache, pain and sorrow.

I've been laying in bed since the breakup, last Monday. It's now Saturday of the next week. For a whole week I've done nothing but sit in my bed and sob while watching sad romance movies and eating ice cream. The only thing that might change is whether I'm eating ice cream of yogurt, but either way I'm eating something.

We haven't talked at all. Well, he's tried to talk to me, but I just ignore him and walk away. He's called and texted me nonstop. It's driving me insane. I've blocked him because of how much he try's to talk to me. Like I told him, I'll talk to him when I can be civil, and right now I'm nowhere near being civil with him.

If I did as little as look at him in the eye, I'd most likely breakdown in his arms, then get upset and just start hitting his chest. Maybe yell at him a little if I'm feeling that upset.

However, I've learned my lesson. Don't fall in love. Don't let yourself fall so hard. And of all things, most definitely do not bring your guard down. Don't tear your walls down for them and done let them tear your walls down for you. Keep them up nice and high. It's safer that way.

Eddie's POV:

One week. It's been one damn week since Bella broke up with me and I've never been more depressed in my damn life. I have no contact with her whatsoever. She won't answer my calls, my texts, she won't talk to me at school, and every time I go to her house to talk to her, her mom just says she's not there or now is probably not the best time.

I just need to explain everything to her. I want her to know that I didn't mean to hurt her or loose her trust. She at least deserves to know that, but she won't even hear me out!

I've been so damn depressed I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life anymore. I don't eat very much anymore, I sleep about 4 hours every night, and I'm listening to emo music. As emo as it freaking gets.

She probably thinks I'm not hurting, but hell, I'm hurting just as much as she is. She used to call be baby but now she calls me by name. Whenever I talk to her all she says is "I have to go Eddie!" then she walks off. I'm pushing and I'm pushing but she just keeps pulling away from me.
And I'm going to keep pushing until she lets me back in. I'm going to keep running until she stops running away from me.