Bad Boys Aren't Romantic

25: Can't Let You Go

I want to stop myself from walking away from Aaron but I can't. As soon as I turn around I take my first step away from him and our friendship. And just like that I was free from Aaron and the crazy things he's doing to my heart.

Or so I thought.

As I'm walking I feel a weight pulling me back and two arms holding me closer as my back hits a chest.

Aaron is holding me; hugging me.

For a second I just stay in his embrace but once it hits me what he'd doing I try to push him away.

"Get off of me Aaron."

"No."

"Aaron," I say.

"I know you're mad right now. I know you think I'm a phony and someone that you can't count on. I know I let you down. And I know you probably don't think you matter to me. But you're wrong. I like you too much to just let you slip away. I just...I just can't let you go."

"Aaron," I warn again, this time my voice quieter than before.

"Please," he says, "please just forgive me. Please. I'm not letting go of you until you tell me how to fix this. Just tell me what to do so that you don't walk away. Please Lux, I'm sorry."

He holds me tighter and I can feel his heart beating fast as his chest hits my back. And as I feel like my heart breaks.

"Okay," I say and his arms go loose.

"Okay? Really?"

I turn myself around within his loose hold and look at him but immediately look away, suddenly feeling ashamed for bringing out his vulnerability.

"Just give me time though," I say.

"Yeah. Definitely. As much time as you need," he says.

"Okay," I say push myself out of his hold. "I just need a little time and we'll be fine."

"You promise?"

"Of course."

-=-=-=-

Aaron did give me time. All the time I needed. He never pushed to hang out with me as much as he used to. Whenever we'd see each other in the hallways we'd smile at each other and whenever we'd see each other outside of school we'd briefly talk. It was not the space I'd expect him to give me. In fact it was more space than I wanted. I would be lying if I didn't say that anytime we'd bump into each other and we'd go our separate ways, I would turn around and watch him go, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'd turn around too. That he would walk up to me and tell me that he's sick of giving me space and that we should go back to normal-but now I've become so unsure of what exactly is normal. I mean after all, only just a couple months ago the thought of Aaron reeves pushed me to the edge of annoyance. But now, as the weeks have gone by without Aaron and the weather has gone from warm to cold I realize that there was no normal. The days before Aaron are hard to remember and the days with him I try to remember but as time has gone by only snippets of our time together come every now and then.