Puppy fat- Dolan

E i g h t e e n

I turned and stared at Grayson, my mouth agape with shock as he stared at me sternly, his mouth fixed in a hard expression that I could only wish would soften. The mention of my old name caused my stomach to churn and the fact that I had seen Alexis again also unnerved me. She had once been my best friend, but that had quickly changed once she'd set up one of my worst bullying attacks, once she'd set up something that completely changed my life.

"Cassidy, I asked you a question." Grayson informed as my heart ached at the use of my real name and not the affectionate "Cass" that I had become accustomed to. The sudden change was glaringly obvious to me and I hated myself for picking up on a detail that shouldn't even be important.

It was then that Alexis made her presence known again. "Who's Cassidy? That," she started, pointing towards me, "Is Macy, and you are?" She asked, batting her eyelashes at Grayson flirtatiously.

"Taken," he replied bluntly before turning back to me, "What is she on about?"
With a sharp sigh, I gazed into his hypnotising eyes, "We need to talk..."
"You better not be breaking up with me, I only want an explanation!" Grayson suddenly blurted, now in a panicked state that would've made me smile if I hadn't had to spill my darkest secret to him.
"I'm never breaking up with you.." I murmured, grabbing his hand gently and leading him to my room, perching on the edge of the bed.

"So what's this all about?" Grayson asked with a frown, concern etched onto every feature. I didn't want to tell him, he'd never view me the same way after this yet I knew it was necessary if I wanted any chance of being with him in the long run. He deserved the truth.

"So... At my old school, I was bullied. I wasn't overweight, I was bullied because of reasons that I don't want to explain just yet. Alexis was my best friend but one day she paid the cheer squad and football team to physically abuse me. I was jumped on, punched, kicked, spat on. It was worse than anything you'd imagine. Then, I remembered, a knife I had in my back which I needed for my lunch. It was the sharp kind. I felt like I had nothing else to do, so grabbing the knife, I stabbed the boy above me. I hadn't thought it through, and immediately the others got scared and ran off, leaving me with the dead body. I was petrified so I too ran off but the boy's dad found out that I was the one who committed the crime so he came after me, that's why I moved here, changing my name so I would be safe..." I spilled, only then looking up at him to try and work out his reaction.

His face was sad yet shocked and as though out of sudden reflex, he moved back slightly, creating distance between us and instantly my heart sunk and the tears were beginning to sting my eyes.

"You hate me, don't you..?" I whispered weakly, not really wanting to meet his eyes in case they were in fact filled with hatred towards me.
A long sigh escaped his lips and finally he spoke, "No I don't hate you, but you're not the person I thought you were, you're not the girl I asked to be my girlfriend. I think we need a break so I can sort out my feelings towards you."
"N-no..." I whispered, "I'm the same girl, I'd never do it again! It's in the past, it's behind me!" I cried, the tears now falling from my eyes like powerful rivers.

He didn't respond, instead he got up and left, confirming that he was going along with his idea, disregarding mine. We were officially on a break and I now knew what it was like to be heartbroken.

The tears flowed harder and my sobs became so loud that I hadn't notice that anyone was in my room until I felt a gentle hand touch my shoulder. My tear-stained face turned to look up at the owner of the hand and it was met with Ethan sending me a sympathetic gaze.

I bowed my head in embarrassment and I was soon bundled up in Ethan's arms, my head resting lazily against his chest which was providing a great source of comfort in this moment.
"I heard everything..." He said quietly and I knew that I now had no secrets.

"Don't you hate me too?" I sniffled, looking up at him in confusion, his twin did so why didn't he? He had every right to, I'd lied to him so much after all.
"Of course I don't Cass. Sure you lied but I just can't bring myself to hate you. No matter how much you screw me over, I'll still be here for you. I care too much for you."

His words caused me to smile slightly and I found myself curling up closer to him, his hand gently stroking my hair. The soft action caused my eyes to grow heavy and I allowed myself to close them, feeling safe in the embrace of my best friend.

"I still love you Cass. I know you know but I can't help but express it every time you're near me. You chose me first and when you told me that you loved Grayson more, I'm not gonna lie, I was completely heartbroken. You're gorgeous and inspirational, you've come so far from what you was and this is all due to your own perseverance. I'm so proud of you and I love you."

I was too tired to respond, so instead, I simply nestled my head further into his chest. I heard him chuckle quietly and he gently slid me off of his lap and into bed, planting a gentle kiss to my lips before leaving me to peacefully dream.

*********
End of chapter!
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-Ky 💜