Everything Wrong With VAMPIRE DIARIES Fanfictions

DON'T NO 14: Cringeworthy Details

Alright, I get it... Details are one big part of your writing but that doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to describe every single thing (no matter how minimal it's importance is to the plot) and just stick it in somewhere in your story.

Frankly... DO NOT EVEN THINK OF DOING THAT.

Details are one thing which can either get your readers hooked or kick them out of your story. And I know that none of you want the latter to happen.

Of course, as you are writing a novel length fanfic (mostly), details are necessary. But too much details can make your story a bit annoying.

For example, you're writing a scene which is set in a forest. Now how would you describe it?

Normally, people tend to describe the surroundings deeply so as to set a mood for the readers. And it also depends on what genre story you're opting for. If it is Horror then the description will edge more towards the creepy side, if it is Vampire / Werewolf then the description would go off to the sinister edge. Not getting it yet? Okay, let's elaborate. Take a look at the piece of writing below.

~ There was an eerie darkness everywhere. No sound could be heard except the snapping of twigs by an eerily heavy wind. The intense scariness of the surroundings was enough to make anyone feel a dreadful fear. 

Melanie was standing in the dark surrounded by a weirdly terrifying mist. Something in her head told her that nothing was normal and all that was happening was dangerously twisted. She tried to feel around for any support but everywhere a horrible emptiness met her outstretched hands. 

There was no choice but to move forward on the narrow path that emerged. As she proceeded she saw trees and it all looked familiar. An uncomfortable cold engulfed her and she shivered. The trees were dense and the undergrowth was full of thorns and brambles. She stumbled more than twice. 

She constantly felt that she had been here before, perhaps a long time ago. She reached an abandoned clearing and then it struck her; she was in the forest which was close to their previous home where she lived with Damon before coming to Mystic Falls. 

She realized why it felt familiar because she had been here before on a cold stormy night when she was barely seven, Damon had been angry and left the house for long so she had gone there looking for him and found him on that very clearing on which she was standing now. 

But why was she here after so long and how, she had no idea. The clearing was just like before but no one else was there except her. She had almost expected to see Damon but no, he wasn't there. 

The place felt horrible though as if it spelled death written all over. "How nice to see you again. I was hoping you would come," she heard a very familiar menacing voice and turned around to see Katherine leaning against one of the trees. ~

The above excerpt is taken from my friend's book The Rose That Bloomed In Augustine by Viola130831 and the chapter's name is Fear, by the way, hence the description.

What I wanted to say was that while describing focus on describing the feelings and emotions the scene creates on the character. You may include a few details about the physical surroundings but if you are going to write:

~ She entered the forest and saw trees all around her. There were so many trees that she felt as if they were blocking her view. ~

Then I'm sorry, I'll have to move on You do not explain the obvious, okay? It is an effing forest, anyway, we know it is going to be full of trees, you don't have to mention it. 

I could give a lot of such examples but I think I have made my point clear.

And then you often hear the phrase "Show Not Tell." Which basically means showing everything through words instead of just telling them. 

Describe everything however you want, add details but do not make them cringeworthy.

You can avoid that by making sure that the details aren't unnecessary and also that they have a significance to the plot or the current scene you are writing. 

The excerpt I mentioned earlier is the description of a forest as viewed by the main character in a nightmare. Hence you will find the element of fear in it, the vague familiarity of the place and the slight raciness of the scene. Nightmares are supposed to be like that and are thus described.

 But that doesn't mean you are going to turn your book into a nightmare by being overtly descriptive.

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P.S the one thing I loathed about Twilight, besides the plot, were the unnecessary details. More precisely, the physical details.

Rosalie Hale's description: ~ The tall one was statuesque. She had a beautiful figure, the kind you saw on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, the kind that made every girl around her take a hit on her self-esteem just by being in the same room. Her hair was golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. ~ 

Bella Swan's description: ~ My first reaction was an unthinking pleasure. The alien creature in the glass was indisputably beautiful, every bit as beautiful as Alice or Esme. She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl. ~   

And that is exactly why I read nothing beyond the first 196 pages (and even those seemed torture with the oh so clear descriptions).

[Besides, the descriptions I have written here are word to word the same in the book. I am not adding up anything from my own self. It's basically copy paste from the Twilight Wiki].

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In short, be descriptive. But sometimes you have to be vague so as to let the reader guess and imagine what it should have been like. Do not mention obvious things in descriptions. Set the mood for the story by using details, do not overly describe the picturesque setting for the scene. Take a dig at the sentiments and emotions, rather than the physical appearances.

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Hope this chapter helped.

See you soon.