Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.62

I could already hear the satisfaction in my mother's voice as we left the airport, my heart already felt burdened as news emerged of an attack that happened to X at a concert, rumored to be one of Rob Stone's minions doing. I wasn't ready to hear her speech, I practically had it memorized word by word. She'd practically rub it in my face how she'd been right all along.

Scar placed a hand on my back guiding me to his car, "I'm not so sure about this anymore."

He laughs but urges me onwards as we continue walking. 

The drive back home was short but in my heart it felt like the longest 10 minutes of my life. There was just quiet as we passed by all the familiar places from my hometown. I had to force myself not to look away as we passed the field which once was a beautiful field of flowers was now just black burnt remains of that memory.

I envied that, being able to burn away something so dispicable as that place, I wished I could do that to the pain in my heart.

Once we come to a stop in front of my house I keep my eyes on the house X used to stay at.

"Hey Flor?" Scar asks.

I turn my head and look at him, forcing a smile on my face.

"Yeah?"

He clears his throat a few times before gathering the courage to speak whatever was on his mind. "Do you think maybe...do you think maybe you can give us a chance?"

I knew this was coming. How couldn't I? He held me the whole flight back, he was kind to me during those days I needed comforting.

I had to move on, right? In order to fall out of love with X I had to fall in love with someone else and who better than Scar?

"X cheated on you, did you wrong. Broke your heart." He pauses watching the pain contort my features. "I wouldn't do that to you." He promises.

I had to move on.

I needed to forget.

"When you said you could take me away from here?" I begin. "Did you mean it?"

Scar's eyes widen.

I wondered what he thought then as I look back on that day. Something about the way he looked at me then troubled me, his face for a moment was guilt striken. About what though I wasn't sure of.

"Of course, love." He says with a smile.

Scar looks away briefly before getting out the car and walking around to my side. I keep a straight face when he opens my side, he holds his hand out for me to take. At first I was hesitant because I knew what it would mean once I took his hand.

Everything was bound to change. There was no going back after this. My hand trembled as I pressed the palm of my hand against his.

He squeezed it reassuringly as he pulls me out the car and into his arms. "Be brave." He whispers into my ear.

I shake my head allowing him to lead me into the house, back to that hell. Strangely enough the door was unlocked and we both stepped inside to a welcoming party.

I was shocked by the amount of unfamiliar faces at the party. But more so because of that strange smile my mother looked at me with as she approached us. I took a step back but Scar held me in his arms keeping me firm in place.

"Happy Birthday Flor." My mom says with a smile on her face, pulling me into her arms.

With wide eyes I hold her back.

I'd forgotten what today was. 

I hold her back needing that warmth. She pulls away from me her eyes glaring at Scar. "Who's this?"

I look at Scar, he smiles at her. "I'm Scar mam, Flor's boyfriend."

I heard someone choke on there drink when he said that, my eyes catch the culprit which is none other than Megan.

She looks from me to Scar in repeat.

It seemed like everyone was watching us now, blushing I stared at the ground instead.

"You actually seem like a good guy now like that other punk." My mother says with disgust.

I placed a hand over my chest. "I need some air." I mutter walking out the house.

I was watching the sky hearing the birds chirp as I tried to keep myself calm. As I stood there for some reason I felt a chill run down my spine. My palms began to sweat and my heart was pounding in my chest.

I was having trouble breathing again.

I wasn't sure why but when I held my breath and heard the sound of bells I suddenly knew.

"Flor?" I hear Scar call my name.

He rushes over to me catching me in his arms.

"Are you okay?"

I shake my head no, holding onto him in fear. "Hey, what is it?" He asks me, I look up at him confused as to why his voice sounded genteler, suddenly Scar wasn't the person holding me but X.

Looking me in the eyes full of concern.

My hand reaches for him, cupping his cheek. He leans into it, a habit of his. A habit I missed.

"You'll be okay." X promises.

I shake my head burying my face into his chest, the illusion in my head fades when I inhale the unfamilair scent that belongs to Scar instead.

Looking up at him again X was gone, who stared at me now was Scar.

"I'll make the pain go away." Scar vows.

I could only look at him, not able to answer back.

I had to forget.

I will forget.